The Bleeding (2009)

Very best movie i ever watch

the audience applauded

Admirable film.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

Move over Uwe Boll, old man Charlie Picerni takes away your coveted title as worst director of all time. This rotten, lame, boring, badly tweaked in post color, amateurish turkey was so excruciating I almost destroyed my TV 5 or 6 times. Is it any wonder it sat on the shelf for 2 years before being dumped into the straight to DVD pit of hell? Apparently director Charlie Picerni is some old hack who used to do stunts 20 or 30 years ago, as well as direct lame 70's TV shows where speed and perfunctory shots matter more than technique or talent. Hack Picerni should retire before we have to suffer through any more painful garbage like this. Riding on the fumes of the vampire genre, old man Picerni foolishly attempts to draw in young audiences with some stiff, boring third rate Vin Diesel he dug up from under some rock to star as the "Slayer" and go after the vamps who killed his family (so much for an original plot). One key problem (besides the tedious script)is that Picerni clearly knows nothing of horror, so he masquerades this pseudo-action film as horror. It's an exercise in desperation. Even the periodic action sequences fall flat. There's even one shot in a car chase he repeats at least 4 times so that we can oooo and aaah at a headlight lens flare! Sorry, Mr. Picerni, but car headlights are not enough to keep the audience awake, let alone dazzle. After 50 years of stunt work you'd think he could get the action part right! I think another reviewer said it best: this should be called "The Boring" not "The Bleeding". I noticed the director's wife (who appears to be half his age) is in this fiasco (Nancy Young) as the nurse, and even she gets a lousy, 3 line walk on part! Perhaps director Picerni seems more in love with his half-wit, bald, stone-faced hero than giving anyone else (including his wife and the vampires) some screen time. Cameos by washed up stars do little to raise the production value. Instead, they serve as a glaring reminder that a quick paycheck is better than artistic integrity. No one looks like they are having fun. The movie has no soul, no heart, no scares, very little gore and no attempts at humor. Everything is played straight and deadly dull. Seriously, don't waste your time with this mess. It's so bad it makes you want to rattle the filmmaker and scream, "How could you?!?"

When you look at the cast for "The Bleeding", aside from star Michael Matthias, this looks like a dream cast for people that watch direct to DVD garbage. Vinnie Jones! Rapper DMX! Michael Madsen! Armand Assante! Tony Schiena (here billed as "Johnny the Perv")! UFC host Rachael Leah! Reality star Kat Von D! It looks too good to be true, like the ultimate DVD movie cast. Well, it was actually released exclusively in New York as far as theatrical releases are concerned, so it's almost a straight to DVD movie. It's also bad-and I mean painfully so.Shawn Black (Matthias, who also serves as a producer-this is essentially a vanity piece for the him) has returned from Afghanistan, with his parents murdered, and his brother dead in battle. Well, it turns out his brother is now a vampire named Cain (Jones), and that he is "the slayer", or a man who must vanquish such evil from the world. Aided by a rather gun happy, unorthodox priest (Madsen), Black must go to an abandoned factory turned nightclub, where Cain and his vampire brethren are hiding.A pastiche picture mixing "Blade", "From Dusk 'till Dawn", "The Fast and the Furious", "Boondock Saints" as well as other obnoxious Tarantino knock-offs and at one point, a pinch of "Hostel", "The Bleeding" is symbolic of everything wrong with action/horror hybrids today. The editing is all over the place, the action scenes aren't all that exciting, the score is a strictly pro-tools affair, the direction is lacking, and you really don't care about anything that happens. In a lot of ways, this is also reminiscent of a lot of bad direct to DVD action movies, but this one takes it to different levels. The whole thing is lazy, and clearly made to be a breakout vehicle for poor man's Vin Diesel star Matthias. I mean sure, the gore and make-up effects are good, and there's boobs, but it isn't anything you haven't seen already.To make things worse, nobody here really seems to give a damn. Several of the stars-Assante, DMX and Kat Von D-are merely given tiny roles and cameo appearances, with DMX only being there to provide crucial plot information and get killed off, Von D to get some blood on her after biting a girl's neck, and Assante being a poor man's version of an old western movie standard (he even calls the movie "a futuristic western" in an interview that serves as a special feature.) The rest of the cast doesn't even seem to be trying for the most part. DMX is clearly just there for the paycheck, while even Matthias and the narration he provides seems to be screaming "get me out of here." Only Madsen and Jones seem to be trying, and even they can't do anything worth a damn due to the script-Jones in particular is given a goofy looking wig and bad American accent. The movie can't even work on an unintentional comedy level. One liners meant to be cleaver are just awkward, and even the site of Vinnie Jones in a bad 70's exploitation hair style can't register."The Bleeding" is just bad, and even not on a camp level. It's just painfully bad, and the kind of thing that usually get's dumped to DVD and forgotten and is not given a weekend long theatrical run. Avoid like a vampire shown a crucifix.

After finding out his brother has killed his parents Shawn (Matthias) he sets out on a quest for revenge. After finding his parents dead, Shawn finds out that his brother (Jones) has become a vampire. Shawn is the only one that can kill him, and the hunt begins. This is a hard movie to review, only for the fact that I'm not sure what this movie was. If it was meant to be a serious film then it was terrible. If it was meant to be a type of satire and over-the-top on purpose then it was great. I'm gonna assume the later because I can't believe this was supposed to be serious (Michael Madsen plays a heavily cursing priest). It was funny and entertaining and not a bad way to spend an hour and a half. The dialog is campy and the acting is pretty bad, but if you look at it as a cheesy on purpose movie it's good. I give it a B.Would I watch again? - I may, again with friends and beer.

A man's brother apparently dies in combat in the Middle East. And yet, this same brother is somehow connected to Cain, a vampire clan leader. And there is a legend of a slayer... and some muscle cars...A film so simple as this should not be so hard to describe, but it is. Someone wanted to write "Blade", but it was already written. They also wanted to write "Fast and the Furious", but that idea was taken. So, what did they do? They meshed them together in one film, threw in some other nonsense, and made a film. It took almost two years to get released, and I am not surprised.First of all, I cannot stress how much the main character (Michael Matthias) wants to be Vin Diesel. He looks like the Wal-Mart brand of Vin Diesel, Wal-Diesel or something. And how DMX is thrown in as a guy who knows way too much about vampires and somehow knows a slayer when he sees one... not sure why.Vinnie Jones plays Cain, and it is nice to see him with (presumably fake) hair. But this is not a great role for him and makes his acting look terrible. Michael Madsen is Father Roy, and while I always enjoy seeing Madsen, he does too many genre films with people who cannot bring out his best. Aside from Tarantino's films, what is the last great thing he did? Katherine von Drachenberg (aka Kat Von D) also appears.The plot holes, time line, and more just do not add up on this to a decent movie. The acting is weak, the directing is decent, though it is clear the emphasis was on the action and not the acting. The director's background is as a stunt man, and I can easily say the stunts here are just fine... the film is, however, a mess... and I do not know who to blame first.