Mortuary (1983)

To all those who have watched it: I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

Howard Avedis, better known for directing sleazy erotic thrillers, tries his hand at horror and does a rather decent job. He gets plenty help from a capable cast (with a few notable exceptions) and screenwriter Marlene Schmidt, who appeared in a few of his earlier films. MORTUARY follows the life of tortured college girl Mary McDonough whose father was killed in an unfortunate accident. Mary seems to be the only person who thinks her old man was murdered and when her jockish bore of a boyfriend spots her mother at a seance, he feels Mary's mommy (Lynda Day George) may be a bit of a Satanist.The film's title comes from the place where much of the shady doings and bumps in the night occur--the local mortuary. Lynda Day George attends seances there because the head of her cult is Christopher George, the mortuary manager. He is grooming his son, Bill Paxton, who has more than a schoolboy crush on Mary, to take over the family business. The boy seems too preoccupied with chasing Mary around and embalming hot blonds than taking his job seriously. Thngs begin to stir up when a cloaked figure begins chasing Mary around. Mary thinks her father's killer is coming to finish off the family.STORY: $$$ (Marlene Schmidt pens a slightly better than average script here. There are some plot turns and some nifty devices but nothing too influential. One of the main questions the script puts forth is what Lynda is doing at these bizarre cloaked rituals. Is she trying to communicate with the dead or is she Satan's slave? Marlene's script could have played with Lynda's cult a little more to add to the suspense, but the suspense really wasn't lacking. This was a rather good screenplay--B-Rate horror standards).ACTING: $$$ (The acting is pretty good all the way around, with the notable exception of the blond jock that played Mary McDonough's boyfriend. The guy wasn't convincing and seemed clueless as to what to do on screen when he didn't have any lines. It's no shock that I haven't seen that guy in anything else. Mary McDonough is fine in the lead building a sympathetic character and Chritopher George and his real life wife Lynda Day are fine as always in their supporting roles. Lynda gets to play a more sassy role; quite in contrast to her more delicate female roles in flicks like ANTS. But the movie belongs to Bill Paxton who slam dunks his role of a socially awkward mortuary attendant. It was quite clear that Mr. Paxton was well on his way to bigger and better things).NUDITY: $$$ (Since this was helmed by Howard "Let's See Some Boobs" Avedis, there is a sprinkling on nudity throughout the film. Paxton embalms a pretty blond early in the film and Mary McDonough has a romp with her boyfriend before her extended nude scene in which Paxton plans to embalm her. The buxom Lynda Day George keeps herself under wraps but does offer some titillation with a lowcut nightgown that displays the type of cleavage all men wish their wives had).

After her father's mysterious death Christy suffers from sleepwalking and night terrors.Making things worse,no one beliefs her claims of a ghoul faced killer lurking in the shadows.When she learns her mother is in a coven of witches,Christy begins to distrust everyone in her life.It's up to Christy's boyfriend to save her from the hands of crazed embalmer played by Bill Paxton,who looks like black metal musician.Fairly decent slasher flick with several jolts of suspense and gruesome deaths.Not a lot of blood and gore,but plenty of breasts both living and cadaver to enjoy.The ending is kind of quick after all the build up,but it is also pretty surprising.Fans of early 80's slasher flicks should give this one a try.

Before your funeral...Before you are buried...Before you are covered with the last shovelful of dirt...Be sure you are really dead! Ha ha, wise words there by the marketing men behind MORTUARY. All joking aside, it's a very good bit of advice; I certainly would like to be absolutely certain I'M dead before I'm buried anywhere. MORTUARY is not a bad little '80's number. Pretty watchable; Mr George is as good as ever in what turned out to be, sadly, his final film, or cinematic epitaph. I liked the use of Mozart in this film; it helped soothe my jangling nerves during some of the more nastier moments. The only thing that really disturbed me about my MORTUARY viewing experience was how I woke up naked by the end credits; I have no idea how this happened as I was fully clothed when I fell asleep.

"Mortuary" is a cheesy is slightly unspectacular slasher.**SPOILERS**Following a friends' disappearance, Greg Stevens, (David Wallace) and his girlfriend Christie Parson, (Mary Beth McDonough) decide to investigate. When they find that local mortuary owner Hank Andrews, (Christopher George) and his son Paul, (Bill Paxton) are involved, though no one buys it as she has a history of being mentally unstable. Dismissing the claims as ludicrous, she is soon haunted by a series of weird dreams and visions of a maniac clad in black tormenting her, which her mother Eve, (Lynda Day George) uses as claims that she really is going crazy. When friends and family suddenly start turning up missing, she finally believes that she isn't crazy and sets out to prove who's behind the disappearances, discovering a psychotic killer with plans for her.The Good News: This one here isn't that bad. The fact that this one has a really nice and creepy story is something to commend. The drama with the dreams and visions is used nicely alongside the mystery about the killer to create something that is really memorable and creative. Those nightmares and visions are pretty nice, since they use the rarely-used sleep-walking technique to good use, and with the mention of the killer chasing her in them, there's some suspenseful moments to be had. The first scene outside in the pool, where the progress from going for a swim at night in a see-through nightgown to the killer popping up to chase them is then mixed in with the aftermath, where it's laughed off as a dream. Several later scenes are also quite nice and play with this rather nicely. Aside from the semi-decent plot, there wasn't a lot about this film, although a couple of scenes are nicely sleazy and provide good moments. One was watching the heroine in her see-through nightgown have a dream about her father dying then cut back to her in bed all hot and sweaty moaning out loud while throwing covers and clothing off of herself. The second scene was watching a woman being stabbed in the stomach over and over as her killer moaned and got off with great pleasure, which feels pretty unique. The fact that there's a lot more nudity involved, especially in the embalming scenes, including the heroine as well as a surprising scene where a couple sleep with each other, are nicely used along with the other scenes to give it a really nice feel. The last bit involves the cheese, which is used in the film fairly often and makes for some fun viewing. The best is the scene in the graveyard during the day-time, where several of them bump into the town's psycho who's holding a bunch of flowers for his Mother's grave. After chatting, he turns and skips off, weaving through the gravestones like a through a field of tulips. It's fun, wacky and makes for a really unique scene, as does a later one where the killer assembles the victims around and performs a piece of classical music for them, which just feels really cheesy and laughable. These are spread throughout the film, and combined give the film it's watchable moments.The Bad News: This one here feels like a lower-tier slasher with good reason, as there's some really noticeable flaws to it. The cheese could be something to get over, especially the graveyard dance which is highly uncharacteristic and slightly puzzling why something like that would be included. There's other moments, but that is the one that will test the most out there. The incredibly low body-count is also something for slasher fans to get over, since this one doesn't even provide half-a-dozen kills, which really should've been quite easy to accomplish. The slashing also doesn't start until towards the end, as that has something to do with the low count. The focus on the centralized people really makes this one responsible for that low-count, since it never really has a chance to target others, and with the insistence on doing the tormenting routine early on, it takes away a lot of prime slashing time. That also exposes another flaw, namely the repeated statements about the mental state. It's really hammered home throughout, yet without reason it's admitted as a lie and the truth comes out, which really should've come a lot sooner. Also there is some truly weird ritualistic dance in a warehouse for some reason that has nothing to do with the story that is just thrown into the mix. This is never capitalized on, exists only to get the characters involved which really could've been done with other methods rather than throwing in some subplot that is never mentioned after it's initial introduction and really could've been used to help the film develop an atmosphere, making this an all-around missed opportunity. Mixed together with all these elements, it really lowers the film somewhat.The Final Verdict: While this one has it's moments of cheese and good slasher moments, this one just really fails to impress and feels like a lower tier entry in the genre. Hardcore slasher fans or those who enjoy these kinds of cheesy films will find some worthwhile here, while purveyors of the best genre films will want to either skip it or seek caution with it.Rated R: Violence, Language, Full Nudity and a sex scene