Smash Cut (2009)

Expected more

Don't listen to the negative reviews

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

A horror film director (David Hess) is depressed that audiences find his gore effects too fake-looking. After he accidentally kills a stripper in a car accident, he uses her corpse to make better gore effects. Driven to make more realistic horror movies, he becomes a murderer. Meanwhile, the stripper's sister (porn star Sasha Grey), hires a private detective (Jesse Buck) to investigate her sister's disappearance. This is cheap, lame-ass stuff. It tries to be funny, but it's severely unsuccessful. Its worst crime is there's almost no nudity! You hire a porn actress as your star, you gotta have some boobs! This'd be completely bottom of the barrel stuff if not for the groovy, '70s porn-influenced score and the fairly decent look of it.

Part 2 of how NOT to do a horror/comedy. See also 'Killer Clown'.People, we truly have reached the dregs. NOTHING is worse than a movie where the main gag is not shared by the audience. NOTHING. And Smash Cut is about as bad as it gets.It's all about a cheapo film director who makes flop horror pictures (Much like this one, coincidence?). The strange thing is, when we see an extract of one of his works at the start, it is dreadful... but still around 100 times better than the flick that frames it. After realising no-one likes his rubbish, the director then gets the bright idea of killing his worse critics and film crew, and using their bodily functions to make his work more authentic. Considering the amount of fingerprints and DNA he leaves behind, I was amazed he was never intercepted by the police. I KNOW you're not supposed to contemplate such thoughts in a tongue-in-cheek movie, but c'mon... this is such a dead zone of quality, that's there's nowt else to ponder on.The overacting is abysmal. The pop culture references are designed for the mentally impaired. The poster is also misleading... what I thought was going to be a film about a killer nurse, turns out to be something much less appealing. Bait and switch, folks. And never before have I seen so many tiresome characters reciting what I suppose it meant to be witty dialogue. It isn't. It's just nonsensical garbage in service to a imbecilic plot, so at least the two go well together. A match made in Hell, if you like.Hopefully, in the sequel, we the audience can get our own back on the cast and crew of this dreck. Now, THAT would be worth seeing. Can you pass me the nutcrackers, pls? 1/10

Smash Cut is set in Ottawa in Canada where hack horror film director Able Whitman (David Hess) attends the world premiere of his latest film Terror Toy to disastrous audience reaction who scream for his blood & their money back. Dejected & down Able heads on over to a strip club & meets up with stripper Gigi Spot (Jennilee Murray) & hires her for the night, however while driving home with Gigi in his car Able has a crash & Gigi is killed. Having looked for inspiration for his next film Able suddenly finds it in the corpse of Gigi, Able realises that this is what modern audiences want. They want real death & real blood & thanks to Gigi's death he now understands, at first he drains some of his own blood but it's not enough to make a gore soaked horror film so goes even further by murdering people such as critics, rival director's & even his own crew. However Gigi's sister April (Sasha Grey) hires the famous private detective Isaac Beaumonde (Jesse Buck) to find out what happened to her sister & they are soon come to suspect Able...This Canadian production was directed by Lee Demarbre & is the worst kind of low budget, poorly made crap that thinks itself is clever & funny & paying homage to classics of the genre of but is in fact a real pain to sit through & offers next to nothing in terms of entertainment value. Judging by the silly nature of Smash Cut I assume it was meant as some sort of horror comedy but fails miserably in both regards, not once did I find the one-liners funny or was convinced by the story. Smash Cut is very predictable, Smash Cut actually reminded me of the film Color Me Blood Red (1965) directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis who Smash Cut is 'dedicated to' (I'm sure he's flattered, not!) & actually has a small cameo (although I think even Gordon may have been slightly embarrassed to put his name next to this) with the only difference being that in Color Me Blood Red an obsessed artist killed people & used blood to paint pictures rather than an obsessed director making horror films. There are supposed to be plenty of film related puns & gags but as I mentioned they fall totally flat, at only 80 minutes long you would wonder how Smash Cut could end up being boring but it is, the story which is obviously light hearted sucks & I couldn't get into it at all or like it. What else can I say? I really didn't like it, I thought it was a chore to sit through & it's badly made as well.Smash Cut has a strange look, although set in contemporary times some of the clothes & props (just check that radio out in the waiting room) are obviously 60's inspired which gives it an uneven look & feel I didn't like at all. It's almost as if the makers wanted to make a period horror film yet could only afford a few outfits & the odd prop. Despite featuring several porn stars there is no nudity here at all. The blood & gore is fake looking & not that impressive, a guy has his hands chopped off, a woman has her fingers & head cut off, there are a few dead bodies, some severed limbs are seen & there are a few stabbings (including one by harpoon) but little else besides some terrible special effects work as a guy has his eyeballs poked out with a scalpel but none of it looks any good or is filmed with any degree of suspense or style. Forget about any scares or tension or atmosphere or genuine laughs as there aren't any.Apparently shot in just twenty days on location in Ottawa in Canada this looks cheap from start to finish, the production values, special effects & grating music are less than impressive. Having made loads of porn films (she made her debut in Tight Teen Twats 2 (2006), it's on my 'to watch' list) the gorgeous Sasha Grey is easily the best thing about Smash Cut, genre regular David Hess is terrible & plays it so over the top at times he becomes laughable rather than menacing, Michael Berryman turns up in a small role while the original The Wizard of Gore (1970) Ray Sager turns up as well.Smash Cut is a really terrible film with only a short run time & the lovely Sasha Grey to recommend it which ain't enough. Even the title is complete crap, I mean what the hell is Smash Cut meant to mean anyway? Do yourself a favour & avoid this one.

"I need inspiration." Poor Able Whitman(David Hess)is a filmmaker whose horror movies are rejected as worthless tripe(is this loosely based on Uwe Bol?)and he drowns his sorrow away in alcoholic pity at the local strip club(where he often finds his actresses!). A tragic event yielding a dead stripper's body may just be the inspiration Whitman needs to bring more authenticity to his work! The lingering shot of the dead body at his disposal creates an enthusiasm in his producers demanding product just as presented to them. Desperate for recognition after being long criticized, Whitman is so willing to present real, he'll draw his own blood for a "blood shower" set up written on script. Anyway, the dead stripper's sister and a detective join forces to find her whereabouts, following all the leads which will inevitably lead to Whitman. Meanwhile, Whitman descends into madness, killing those in his crew in order to further add realism to his bloody horror movie.Someone has done it! Maybe this means little to nothing if you are not an admirer of Herschell Gordon Lewis, but for those who love the guy, "Smash Cut" could be worthwhile. I imagine that this movie will be of special interest to the David Hess fan club because he is the star headlining the movie along with gorgeous porn star Sasha Grey . Seeing Hess in clownface alone will be enough I think for his faithful to check this out. That or when he pulls the arm accidentally off a stripper who is killed in a car crash, Hess completely distraught. The scene where Hess collapses after the incident where he drew blood is a howler! Oh, and Hess even gets so worked up while gathering up his bits and pieces for his movie(from the car crash victim!)that he uses the severed arm's shirt sleeve to wipe his sweaty brow! Jesse's detective Beaumonde is a character of the HGL grand tradition..he's obviously modeled after Frank Kress from The Gore Gore Girls(he even carries a cane and is sure in love with himself). I have to say that this may be the first time, the avid horror fan that I am, I've actually seen a victim held captive in a film vault. Oh, and how Hess' director goes into hysterics regarding how Hamlet is in essence a horror film when this is challenged by April(Grey as a woman seeking a part in Whitman's new movie so she can follow him more closely)is quite a hoot. Or, the macabre scene involving April unknowingly holding her dead sister's decapitated head while quoting a line from Hamlet. Hess has a lot of kill scenes where he follows up his grisly antics with some goofy line("It's gut check time!" "I always knew you had a good eye" "I have final cut!")to cement each demented act of violence. Lots of black humor on display. Is there anything more cool than HGL opening the film?! To have the godfather of gore a part of your splatter movie must've been a great honor for both sides, the one for which the film is dedicated to and for the director to have his hero present and part of "Smash Cut." Michael Berryman, in a ridiculous wig, is Hess' not-so-bright producer, pairing together two memorable exploitation icons in scenes where they can send up their image. Ray Sager is a reverend who enlists boycotts of Whitman's movies and gets caught with his pants down by Beaumonde during the investigation. The violence is purposely low-tech, particularly an absurd scene where canons of blood gusher after Whitman chops off the hands of a screenplay writer with a cleaver. I'm a little kind to this movie because it was such a pleasure seeing Hess having such fun in quite a wacky role..and, nope, he doesn't rape anybody. While I think the image of Sasha Grey in a nurse uniform covered in blood is an attractive one, I found her lacking in personality. Still, she's mighty easy on the eyes, and I imagine there's a place in the horror genre for her if she ever decides to leave pornography behind.