The Amityville Asylum (2013)

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

The DVD slipcase artwork is probably the best thing about this film. This film is so bad I'd rather watch the newest incarnation of Ghostbusters and that was an absolute pile of turd that robbed me of 2 hours of my life.

What makes a production company think placing a brand name on a sloppy poor written script will sell movie tickets? The movie shows the cow has been milked to death with the house being torn down and a mental institution erected in its place. So now the timeline is really screwed on if the demons blew it up or does it still stand for the Benson family to reside there in haunting? Lisa Templeton (Sophia Pizzo) desperate for work takes a job at the asylum when she notices weird occurrences at night and investigates its dark past. You literally can tell how it will end during the first ten minutes. The acting was not bad on Pizzo's part as a strong leading lady, but its not saying much when the rest are inadequate.The movie suffers from a low budget with cheap effects, poor lighting and if I'm not mistaken the volume cuts out or becomes low till you can't make out what the actors are saying.Pure boredom to sit through as the film offers no twists or scares to keep you interested and as I've said the ending was obvious.The amittyville horror was a fantastic thrill ride that ran out of stream without recovery at this point. I pray this will be the last.

I liked the film. Creepy atmosphere in the hospital and the Sadie character was so OTT I couldn't help but enjoy it! Her laugh gave me the chills!It mostly had a different back story to the previous Amityville movies but the DeFeos are part of it and there were some good references to the other films in the series, like the "get out" line in the original.At times it was a bit like a tribute band playing a greatest hits of haunted house and asylum films from the past. But it was presented in a slightly different way and the story held my interest until the end so they kind of got away with it.I have to give them props for the ending, referencing the fact that many have profited from the murder of the DeFeos. I know that's what's happened with this film too but at least the filmmakers of this one had the balls to say it.

This film is a work of art that should be used as the apex of examples as to why movie piracy is as strong as ever. Because no-one (and I mean NO-ONE) should have to pay to sit through such mind-numbing drivel.The acting is terrible. Scenes are unfinished. Camera-work is shoddy. Most of the 'horror' is off camera (trying to be arty? didn't work). The story is intriguing and could have been made into a really fun horror flick if the right director and crew got hold of it.Sadly this never happened.Characters are unbelievable, the set is completely flat and without atmosphere. Nothing about this film grabs you.The most painful scene for me being the main character in a corridor after her colleague has been shot dead - over-acting and instead of fleeing for her life, hovers over the body (dry sobbing) whilst the faceless gunman patiently waits around 3-4 minutes for her to finish her scene before reloading the gun, prompting her to find her feet and run around the corner.Don't even get me started on the guy peeling liquid latex off his face to reveal some very bad make-up. Oh, I'm sorry...? He was peeling his own FACE off? Poltergeist circa 1982 did a more believable job.Absolute garbage. Avoid like the plague. This film is just an utter insult to would-be audiences.