Hercules (1983)

I'll tell you why so serious

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

The brave and mighty Hercules (an earnest, but extremely inept performance by brawny behemoth Lou Ferrigno of "The Incredible Hulk" fame) must rescue fair maiden Cassiopea (ravishing Ingrid Anderson) from the foul clutches of the wicked King Minos (William Berger, who somehow manages to keep a straight face while saying all this laughable philosophical hogwash) and his equally evil, yet bodacious daughter Ariadne (buxom blonde B-flick bombshell Sybil Danning vamping it up with deliciously lip-smacking brio). Helpful good sorceress Circe (the insanely gorgeous Mirella D'Angelo) assists Hercules on his valiant quest. Writer/director Luigi Cozzi crams this delightfully dreadful dimestore dreck with all the right wrong stuff: a ridiculously pointless opening montage about the creation of man and the universe, uproariously rinky-dink (much less than) special effects, a blithely silly script, lousy dubbing, larger-than-life hammy villains, an absurdly serious tone, clumsy occasional use of strenuous slow motion, and a ludicrously solemn narrator are all so outrageously funny and preposterous in their jaw-dropping badness that the whole ghastly mess plays like some kind of sly deadpan spoof of chintzy low-rent fantasy schlock. Among the unintentionally hilarious highlights are baby Hercules crushing the heads of two deadly serpents, Hercules beating up a bear and tossing the beast into space, Hercules battling a giant robot bee, Hercules unleashing a river to clean a filthy horse stable, a huge three-headed Tonka toy mechanical dragon, and Hercules using a massive stone to make a magical chariot fly. Pino Donaggio provides a suitably robust'n'rousing full-bore orchestral score while Alberto Spagnoli's glossy cinematography gives the picture an appropriately gaudy'n'glittery look. An absolute gut-busting kitschy riot.

Lou Ferrigno stars as Hercules the muscle-man who battles a sorceress and others to save the princess who he loves, and who he plans to marry (After cleaning out horse stalls.) in this disastrous epic of Greek mythology, bad special effects and horrendous dubbing. Where do I even start with this one? Aside from the hilariously bad special effects (The throwing of a bear in outer-space is truly laughable in its stupidity.) and the lame fight sequences you have what is the one of the worst movies ever made. Seriously. The film's sole redeeming quality is that it is just so hilarious. I mean this movie is guaranteed to make you bust a gut, otherwise you don't have much of a sense of humor. Let's face it bad movies such as this, sadly don't get made and while this movie is completely awful, fans of really bad cinema will be laughing all the way to the bank. For five dollars this is well worth the price. So bad it makes Gymkata seem like Die Hard.* out of 4-(Bad)

action mainly consists in retarded, muscled-up Hercules ( check the variety of facial expressions ) wrestling cheap robot toys (the garage sale variety ) in papier-mache studio sets thought to be impressive...but there is only so much one can do with $100 worth of carton boxes.Acting is slightly better than the sequel, but still the best thing is a silly "lat spread". SFX are laughable, mainly with poor film quality and awful superposition effects.Plot is paper thin. The beginning of the movie clearly mocks Conan the barbarian, and other movies. Some exteriors are shot at night in roman ruins in the Italian countryside i suppose.There are catastrophe scenes, but toy miniature cities look terribly fake and guards battling Hercules look like 60yo out of shape from a nursing home.Pretty women in scant dresses are a plus, but not enough to save this amateurish C grade waste of money.SFX make other tier-II Italian salad bowl movies such as L'UMANOIDE & STAR CRASH look like masterpieces.Well, considering that Ferrigno's main acting exploit consisted in impersonating a retarded green monster, wearing a whig and green espadrillas, we ought to be lenient.Watch it & forget about it.

What is there to hate about this movie?I have seen it and I really can't figure out what's so bad about it.The acting is good the costumes are good the script is good and to tell you the truth the scene where Hercules fights the bear is breathtaking in my vision.Yes,it's aimed at children but that's really not a reason to call it the worst movie ever made.I really don't understand what's wrong with it.The fact that it isn't too violent?That there aren't any guts pulled out or heads ripped off?What?Tell me because I really want to know.However I am not surprised,people here give 10 stars to stupid movies like LOTR and mock great great movies with 3-4 stars,these people ought to be permanently banned from here.