Jacqueline Hyde (2005)

Sadly Over-hyped

Lack of good storyline.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Jacqueline Hyde (2005) ** 1/2 (out of 4) Clever title, huh? A shy, chunky girl (Gabriella Hall) inherits her grandfather's mansion and soon finds some chemicals he was working on before his death. The potion will change a person's physical appearance and when she drinks it she becomes a sex crazed maniac (Blythe Metz). I really wasn't expecting anything but a softcore, late-night Cinemax type film and that's what I got but a very well made one. The film was "inspired" by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde but owes more to The Nutty Professor. The story of an overweight girl taking a chemical to make her beautiful is an interesting twist and the two female leads deliver good performances for this type of flick. There's a lot of sex and nudity as well as some gore to keep things going. The cinematography is wonderful as well.

One thing that came across to me in watching this film is that it was fun/exciting for the cast and crew; I could sense that they were going up against the budget constraint with enthusiasm & dedication because they apparently liked the people involved. I tend to like B movies that are original and have heart, and I think this is one such work. The actors seem to me to be putting there hearts in it more than usual, maybe because of some good direction from the lead actress/director, and they evidently were clear enough in their parts of the story to make a coherent, watchable piece of art. The critiques of this film that more or less say, "why not just rent a hardcore porn movie," make the point as to why they didn't like the film. Going to this film hoping for a lot of T&A without patience for the material of the plot is why it is so unenjoyable for them. One could say the movie is more of a romantic work than a softcore porn movie, even though I take it the star has done her share of soft porn. I think she graduated. In terms of the writing, the dialog is not a huge part of the movie, like in a Tarentino film, but the plot is decent and the twists are original and sometimes fun. Particularly the ending is not a disappointment but a pleasure, with the villianess/heroine and the "leading man" learning from their complex web of feelings. I understand that the producer got a 3 film deal out of this. Hats off for proving a few tens of thousands of dollars can go pretty far if you have some artistic sensibility and pride. Gabriella and the other girls with scenes of nudity were likable along with being hot, not just airhead bimbos, so as an erotic science fantasy piece with some gorgeous nude art, even with the limits of B-movie land, not disappointing.

Jacqueline Hyde starts like any other normal day for telemarketing individual Jackie Hyde (co-producer Gabriella Hall) until her boss (Robert Donovan) fires her for taking personal calls at work, however it's not all bad news as the call she took was from a lawyer informing her that her Grandfather (Malcolm Bennett) has recently died & that he left her his mansion & fortune (why doesn't stuff like that ever happen to me? Sigh). Very excited Jackie heads on over there & makes herself right at home, while looking for the thermostat late one night Jackie stumbles upon a secret room where her Grandfather stashes the bright red formula that he invented that allows whoever drinks it to change their appearance. Being a bit on the porky side Jackie finally settles on the glamorous Jacqueline (Blythe Metz), however Jackie's better looking alter-ego starts to take control...Written, co-produced & directed by Rolfe Kanefsky I thought Jacqueline Hyde was complete total & utter crap from start to finish & it's as simple & straight forward as that. According to the opening credits Jacqueline Hyde was 'inspired' by the classic Robert Louis Stevenson novel 'The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde', frankly if Mr. Stevenson could see what was being done to his story here he'd turn in his grave. For a start I think Jacqueline Hyde was/is intended to be a horror film, the IMDb certainly lists it as such but there isn't any horror in it at all apart from just how bad it is. I would say that Jacqueline Hyde is more a soft-core porno than anything else & extremely tame with it, why sit down & watch this softer than soft porno crap when you can watch you proper hard-core stuff that actually delivers the goods? Why, that's the question I ask here. It's not even good porn either, besides being far too soft it's dull, boring & the not-worth-mentioning sex scenes are few & far between. The most intelligent aspect of this film is the title which would have been quite clever if not for the fact that another film used the Jacqueline Hyde (1998) title during the last century & judging by the IMDb's plot summary it sounds a hell of a lot better than this piece of rubbish. This is one of those films you have to watch yourself to see just how bad it is but just hope that you never get the opportunity.Director Kanefsky was obviously working on a low budget but that's not an excuse these days, shot on a digital camcorder the film looks cheap & the few instances of CGI look like they came from a Nintendo Gameboy, the final 'shocking' twist has probably the worst morph effect I've ever seen & is pretty good for a laugh as is the scene when Jackie's breasts grow via more terrible CGI. That's another thing, the film takes itself far too seriously. The subject matter sucks, is far too predictable & makes for a poor film but maybe if the dialogue had been intentionally funny with some dirty porn talk the film might have been more fun to watch, alas it isn't so it isn't. Forget about any decent horror, violence or gore as there isn't any apart from a surprisingly bloodless decapitation at the end.Technically Jacqueline Hyde is home made film type stuff, the photography is of the flat hand held point-&-shoot variety, the music, production design & special effects are of a suitably low standard to match the script. The acting was awful, seriously this is bad.Jacqueline Hyde in my opinion a load of crap, there is not one positive thing about this turgid film that I can think of. Any proper film lover will have an almost impossible time trying to find any redeeming value in this crap, definitely one to avoid.

Jacqueline Hyde is a good quality film and does manage to be likable because of what it is. Everyone out there will like it! Sandwiched between the amount of breast shots, the times Jacqueline rubs herself, the various times Jackie spends chatting to herself and the times spent heaving in the Magdelena Mountains, this could create one hell of a dishwasher if your career were to end.Unlike most horror movies that take place in space or in some restless tranquility with ripe green apples, this one takes awhile to guzzle. The performing is good. Other than great acting by Dan the pizza delivery guy (must see), there are no standouts, but no notably bad outcroppings from my recent dinner either (and I do mean recent). Excellent acting overall because there are no typically dreadful actors which you'd find in movies of the four "Skin" related data fields or in the biological skimmer's found in any IBM shop. In addition if you see a female in this movie, the likelihood is that she will be butt naked by the next scene! Now that I think about it, there is quite a bit of action in this movie. Between the first and the second electro yank obtained from a hot chick and the time you observe her "buckets naked", keeps em' speculating. I loved it!