Rottweiler (2004)

Waste of time

Fanciful, disturbing, and wildly original, it announces the arrival of a fresh, bold voice in American cinema.

It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

There was no horror, no comedy, and no extreme violence. All there was in the movie was a psychotic dog that chased a deranged man. The story makes very little sense as it is not told in the correct order. The only entertaining moment was when the robot dog does its terminator impression. What should have been a violent tongue-in-cheek monster creature movie was just a boring and lackluster yawn.

This film is so dreadful that it is......dreadful. It says something when a dog out acts the rest of the cast. Basically, in 2018, a not-very-bright-or-quick American prisoner named Dante escapes from a Spanish prison camp and is pursued by the indestructible Terminator of the canine world; the eponymous Rottweiler, all metal bones and gnashing teeth. Helicopters also search for him but he hides behind bushes - apparently Infra-Red is a forgotten science by 2018! Oh yes, he is also searching for his ex-girlfriend whilst suffering from memory loss - surely this requires a brain? The acting is simply awful and consists of our hero stumbling around and tripping over every twig, stone or dust particle around. At one point he manages to loose his clothes in the best tradition of the incompetent hero; leaving his gun & clothes 100 yards from where he is naked in the river, allowing the canine jack-the-ripper to get the drop on him! Later he stumbles naked into a farm inhabited by a mother and her little girl. After Dante has a spot of sex with the mother and acquires some trousers, the dog breaks into the house and the trio escape through a window followed closely by the dog; the mother/daughter run towards a cellar that is at least a 100 yards from the house whilst Dante moves 5 yards down a slight slope in the opposite direction expecting the dog to follow him. Instead the dog follows the mother and daughter and catches them at the cellar entrance where it kills the mother after a struggle. Whilst all this is drama is happening, Dante is still stumbling the 5 yards back up the slope!Later, stumbling weakly through a red light district and nursing an injured arm, he still manages to best a perfectly able and fit drugs pusher and five minutes later, after stumbling weakly into an open area and collapsing, learns the fate of his girlfriend and sprints and leaps onto a helicopter that is taking off and causes it to crash and explode with the pooch inside. Apparently, one year before, he allowed the rottweiler to rip apart his screaming girlfriend whilst he stood 5 or 6 paces away wondering what to do. After she was dead he leaped into action and bashed the dog around the head with a short metal pipe. Fast forwarding to the helicopter crash, the rotty's metal skeleton emerges from the blaze for the final showdown.This film is truly terrible; weak script, incompetent direction and acting.I'm just about to watch 'Dust Devil' on Sky's ZoneHorror - it surely cannot be worse......

Typically awful Yuzna exercise, this time mining the "monster dog" genre having this human-eating, bloodthirsty mutt chasing convict Dante(William Miller)through this totalitarian country. He is bitten twice by it, but somehow, despite how others are torn to shreds, escapes his clutches. This film embarrassingly finds numerous ways, when there shouldn't be none, for Dante to constantly evade dire harm. It's essentially a series of near-death scenarios as he is caught by one prison guard with cowboy boots(?!)who was in possession of the rottweiler, is pretty much raped by some former-whore named Alyah(Paulina Gálvez), who becomes lunch,with a daughter , runs into three drug-runners who are interested in the boots he stole from the prison guard he blows away, and finally makes it to this metallic city(which resembles Pittsburgh or Chicago) where prostitution runs supreme with constant trafficking of drugs and narcotics. Dante's memory has been dodgy since beaten to a pulp by the sickening leader, Kufard(Paul Naschy out of all people..inspired casting, I'm sure) of this country's prison unit, or whatever it is, and he pursues the love he was separated from when circumstances brought them apart. There's this game called Infiltration where certain products of wealth(Dante and Ula) see if they can escape dangerous, patrolled waters..whatever. Dante spends most of his quest searching for Ula(Irene Montalà)when he isn't barely surviving the killer dog out for blood.There are certain repressed memories Dante is trying to retrieve and it concerns what happened that night he and Ula were caught by Kufard. This also concerns the reason the rottweiler is beyond mortal..it had some sort of scrape with Dante resulting in it's skeletal structure(..and teeth) being changed partially into metal which means it can rip people apart for the hell of it without anyone doing much to him. He's pretty much a robotic killing machine. This film contains some graphic neck attacks among other flesh ripping from the killer mutt. Yuzna shows it pulling away vital organs from the torsos of victims, chomping on the skin around the skeletal remains of human meat, etc.

I understand that I must write at least 10 lines in order to get this comment added. But I'm a well brought up and gentle soul who is not used to profanity so I think it will be quite hard for me to write 10 lines that describe this awful piece of rubbish. I suppose I could just say things like "don't waste your time and/or money watching this drivel" and such like, but it doesn't really convey any detail about the film, but others have done that, so thankfully I don't have to.I sometimes wonder what the actors and director/producer are thinking when they make this sort of rubbish. Do they actually think it's going to make money for them, help their career or be acclaimed as a brilliant piece of film making? Or do they realise it's garbage but are resigned to finish it otherwise they won't get paid? The only highlight of the film for me were the attempts by the TV censor to cover up the guys dangly bits while he was running naked through the grass.And couldn't they have found a leading actor who didn't have silly looking sticky-out front teeth?