Blackmale (2000)

So much average

Fantastic!

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

What did I just witness? In fact, hold on... 9-1-1, I would like to report a crime. Yes, it is a cinematic crime. You can find the suspects easily by looking up "BlackMale" on IMDb.com. They should be easy to find because none of their careers have taken them anywhere. I just stopped on this movie during a late night channel surf, and it seemed interesting enough. A guy being entrapped by a beautiful young lady; I just wanted to see where it was headed. I later found out that it was headed towards the pits.Well, the title is silly enough to suggest that the movie in turn wouldn't be any good. Although it had some credible actors in it. Bokeem Woodbine is no stranger, and I certainly remember Roger Rees from "Cheers", but this movie just stunk like nobody's business. The plot and events just kept getting more and more absurd up until the utterly ridiculous ending. Somebody was definitely blackmailed here. I think the actors were blackmailed into being in this movie, but being that it is an indie film, there was no distributor blackmailed into helping produce this junk.

My film teacher showed us this movie to teach us about independent films and because one of his friends worked on it. He warned us in the very beginning that it was a horrible movie and that he was sorry to have to make us watch it. This is coming from a FILM TEACHER WHO WAS FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHO HELPED MAKE IT. Everyone at the end of the movie in my class was just shaking their heads and was laughing throughout the whole thing (though it was just stupid, not funny). The acting is too much, the story loses itself after a while and spins way out of control, and it was just overall confusing. The Quentin Tarantino aim was completely lost because I love Tarantino films and I love high-paced action movies and I'm usually really good at following fast stories. This is just a terrible movie and I really highly suggest STAYING AWAY.

This is a movie that is low budget and knows it. The movie never takes its self seriously and is fun to laugh at for that reason in addition to the actual comedy that is found throughout the movie. I will honestly say that if I am bored and want to watch a movie, that Blackmale has been there for me more than any other movie.The Plot is actually pretty crafty and full of (surprisingly) unsuspecting twists. The special effects are actually quite realistic which is surprising for such a low budget movie. Bokeeem Woodbine plays his role with a serious emotion that only adds to the hilariousness of the movie. Justin Pierce (R.I.P) is hilarious as a guy who has possibly the worst day of his entire life. The comedy of the movie culminates in the final 10 minutes that have had me and everyone else watching the movie rolling on the floor for hours. This movie is a classic and deserves more respect.

I loved Pulp Fiction, I loved Fight Club, and while the writer/directors, the Baluzy brothers have seen those films, they do not belong behind the camera.The plot is a gang of young kids try to black mail a crazy doctor (John Roos from Cheers). Surprise!, there are double crosses and a lot people are shot. There is a lot of blood and dead bodies, but it is not scary or funny -just sad. Close ups of crack pipe use, sex with dead bodies, dogs tied to car bumpers (remember NatLamp's Vacation?) and donut eating cops.It not bad enough to be funny, with one small exception, there is a ninja gang chasing them. Their leader uses a walker and when the young Ninja kicks the starts kick he hurts himself because "Dude, you have to stretch first". The only other highlight is Sascha Knopf looks great in a bikini.Please avoid this.