Hell on Wheels (1967)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

Truly Dreadful Film

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

HELL ON WHEELS is undoubtedly one of the worst 'racing' B-movies in existence. It's supposed to be some dramatic brother vs. brother thriller set in the world of stock car racing, but all the viewer gets is endless grainy footage of repetitive and boring races - it could be stock footage for all I know, as it sure looks like it - padded out with singing numbers from star Marty Robbins and others.Still, I suppose I should have expected no better given that Crown International Pictures put this one out, and they did make dog after dog after all. One of the stars is the ever-youthful John Ashley, shortly to depart US shores to carve a new niche as exploitation star in the Philippines, and who can blame him on the strength of this? Even those MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND type films were better than this...

Tepid family drama and conflict amongst the Robbins family boys: Oldest brother Marty (a sadly underwhelming performance by legendary country singer Marty Robbins) enjoys a successful duel career as a famous country singer and champion stock car racer, surly mechanic younger brother Del (decent work by the handsome John Ashley) aspires to be an ace race car driver himself, and other sibling Steve (insipidly played by Robert Dornan) works for the feds busting moonshine runners. Flatly directed by Will Zens, blandly scripted with a numbing emphasis on boring talk by Wesley Cox, further marred by draggy pacing, Leif Rise's plain cinematography, mostly stiff acting from a hopelessly wooden cast, and a painfully meandering narrative, this drab Edsel of a film proves to be a pretty rough slog to sit through. Worse yet, the racetrack footage is surprisingly tedious and unexciting, with even the expected inevitable metal-mangling automotive smash-ups failing to deliver any genuine thrills due to the general fun-sapping lethargy that hangs heavy over this movie like a dismal fog. To be fair, there are a few minor compensations: Fetching brunette Gigi Perreau provides some much-needed spark and sassy as Del's spunky gal pal Sue and the quaint country songs possess a certain folksy charm. A dreary wash-out.

Here's a "no-budget" independent production designed to showcase both the singing and racing skills of good ol' boy country crooner Marty Robbins. He's obviously a talented singer, and apparently a passable race car driver. But he should never have attempted acting, as evidenced here. He has absolutely no charisma, nor the good looks to let the viewer forgive him his stilted screen presence. Robbins could be reading off cue cards, judging by his performance in "Hell On Wheels." Fans of his music can enjoy the four songs he performs, even though the staging is dull as dishwater.Then we have the strange casting of hunky John Ashley as Marty's brother. They look like they came from different planets altogether. And Ashley's character is written in such a way to make him a spoiled and petulant brat, constantly jealous of his more successful brother. Add to that a nagging and self-pitying mother who would drive the most devoted son to move to a different state, and Ashley's clueless wife, who lavishes attention on Marty instead of her handsome husband.And they throw in an nearly almost completely unrelated subplot about another brother who works for the A.T.F. Department. This noxious sequence only exists to show how a backwoods moonshine still can be "blown up REAL good!" They even do it twice for good measure.What entertainment value can be gleaned from this grade-Z effort can be found in two ways. The first being the Cinéma vérité scenes of early Nascar racing and its "salt-of-the-earth" fans. There are extended scenes of these simple folk filing into the stands and watching the races with great interest. It's a Tennessee fashion show! The second element of enjoyment can be found in the music interludes by the one of the guest stars, The Stonemans, who were a family bluegrass group. The female guitar player kicks up her heels and dances in such an exuberant manner, that it's a riot. And her gold go-go boots are something! Connie Smith also sings two songs that are passable, but exceedingly dull in the staging. She deserved better.But, by all means, PLEASE stick around for the closing musical number where Marty croons a song about butterflies to his nine-year-old niece. The reaction shots of the little girl reach a fever pitch as she soon pokes her right index finger well up her nose! And it's a medium shot with only her in the frame! Now there's Cinéma vérité for sure!

I don't like race car driving, especially in a circle, but this 1967 movie is great. The star is Marty Robbins. He is a wonderful singer who in addition to his many country hits even had a giant Rock & Roll hit in 1956, "A White Sport Coat." Connie Smith also sings, and she was then the number one female singer in Country Music. In the 60's and 70's she had many hits, including one, "Once a Day", which was number one on the Billboard charts for eight weeks making it the biggest hit recording in all of the history of Country Music ever recorded by a female singer. In the mid 60's she had three number one (on the Billboard charts) record albums. She is the best female singer ever recorded.Also, appearing in this movie is the Stoneman Family, a bluegrass country folk band, who were even popular with San Franciscans at the Winterland Auditorium. Together they sold many millions of record albums and CDs. This movie's villains are old, wimpy, and are so vastly outnumbered by the good guys that the atmosphere is relaxed. The movie is an excuse to show the wonderful singing and music.This is the last real movie of long time child star Gigi Perreau. Also, it stars Bob Dornan in one of his last movies. He went on to politics being elected to Congress from California for many years, and he got the nickname B-1 Bob, for promoting the B-1 Bomber. Contrary to someone's comment there is no nose picking in this movie. See this movie for the singing and music.