Lady Street Fighter (1981)

Sadly Over-hyped

Pretty Good

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

Really, really, really, really, really funny movie but man is it badly made. On the other hand its hard to make any movie good or bad so just the fact that anything gets onscreen is a downright miracle really...but seriously its not well made. The lead actress is very Tommy Wisseau-esque tho--her accent, but also her outsize over-reaction to anything and everything that's also in the scene with her. She's a wee bit over the top you might say. There's a grown woman playing a 5 year old girl here as well, as in she's actually supposed to be 5 and not a grown woman with the brain of a 5 year old...it doesn't make any sense, but i'm hoping it wasn't supposed to.There's a sequence that's set at a party that turns into a drug laced freakout/orgy that seems to serve no purpose other than to give the people in the movie who aren't the main actress something to do. Honestly nothing that happens in this movie makes any sense--it starts out trying to be a straight up revenge movie (this woman's sister gets killed and she comes to California to find the guys that did it) but somewhere around the lets say 20 minute mark, the movie turns into a woman on the run movie, and then it inexplicably becomes a love story--that part was actually the most believable because the actor who's playing against the lead actress is about as much an actor as she is--except where she goes completely and totally over the top, he's like underplaying every line--their love scene needs to be seen to be believed quite honestly. How this hasn't been rediscovered as an object of cult fandom yet is a good question--its definitely every bit as nuts as The Room, but somehow The Room is still unquestionably the better movie! (At least The Room has some resolution at the end of its plot!)

Linda Allen (Harmon) travels from somewhere in Europe to Los Angeles to get to the bottom of the torture/murder of her sister. She becomes embroiled in a tangled web of evil gangsters, killer pimps, shady FBI agents, and downright strange partygoers. But who can Linda trust? Luckily, her wits and Martial Arts skill (?) should get her to the bottom of things. Will Linda ever casually wear a gold jumpsuit again? Find out today! Like most people who have ever seen her in anything, I am a confirmed Renee Harmon fan. She's impossible not to like. Her thick German accent isn't unintelligible; it says "I'm not going to let this stop me from achieving my dream of being in American movies". There's something charming and likable about her, as I've witnessed in Frozen Scream (1975) and the must-see Night of Terror (1986). So imagine my delight when I saw her in Lady Street Fighter - AS the lady street fighter in question - punching and kicking the bad guys and getting into a bunch of highly silly shootouts, car chases, love scenes and fights.Adding to the fun are some hilariously abrupt film and sound edits, some wonderfully wooden line readings, and inexplicable dubbing. On top of that are two main musical themes: one Spaghetti Western-influenced, the other positively Kraftwerkian. And there's even a "sexy" undercurrent to it all. Apparently the film was shot in 1975 and not released on VHS until a full decade later. Interestingly, Frozen Scream is also from '75 and that was the first year Harmon appeared on the scene. She really exploded out of the starting gate with these two films. While the Kung Fu movie craze was in full effect then, with plenty of aspiring Bruce Lee's out there, it may seem somewhat counterintuitive to make the heroine of such a film a 48-year-old German lady. But that's all part of the fun. Plus, it's better than Policewomen (1974) or the Ginger series.Besides, Harmon was a true trailblazer in that respect. Now we fully accept heavily-accented action stars such as Schwarzenegger and Van Damme. But Harmon did it first. And backwards and in high heels, as the saying goes. Her accent, while charming, does seem to get worse as the movie goes along. Is that possible? But she also wears a lot of great outfits and gives it her all. And she really loves celery, as we see in the centerpiece of the film, the party scene. It's here she meets a girl named Inez, and gives her highly sensitive and medically-accurate diagnosis of her mental state. Interestingly, the spectral character in Night of Terror, one that is very important plotwise to that film, is also named Inez. Could that possibly be a coincidence? Not to be confused with being a part of the Sonny Chiba Streetfighter series, Lady Streetfighter is distinct in its own right. And at only 73 minutes, you can't afford not to watch it. After the end credits, it promises, "watch out for the return of Lady Streetfighter!" Sadly, this never came to pass, as this was director Bryan's last film. (And third collaboration with Harmon, after Hell Riders and The Executioner, Part II). He also directed Don't Go in the Woods, for those that don't know).So have as much fun as the partygoers in the film that are continually shouting "Toga!" and see Lady Streetfighter soon.

Cunning and deadly foreign beauty Linda Allen (a hilariously atrocious performance by Rene Harmon, who sports an adorable heavy German accent) arrives in Los Angeles to track down the evil mobsters who tortured and murdered her sister. Meanwhile, the mobsters try to find a tape with incriminating information on it. Plus Linda has to deal with both a nasty pimp and a crooked FBI agent who intends on killing her. Boy, does this deliciously dreadful doozy possess all the right wrong stuff to qualify as a real four star stinkeroonie: exceptionally inept (mis)direction by James Bryan (the same cinematic genius who blessed us with the similarly shoddy "Don't Go in the Woods" and "The Executioner, Part II"), uniformly terrible acting from a lame no-name cast, clumsily staged action scenes (the car chases, shoot outs, and especially the rough'n'tumble martial arts fights are all uproariously awful), a hopelessly muddled and meandering narrative, a simply astounding kinky swinging sex party (Rene suggestively sucks on celery stalks with a certain remarkably sensuous aplomb), poorly recorded post-sync dialogue, and a handy helping of gratuitous female nudity that's largely provided by dumpy and unattractive ladies with a few too many miles (and pounds) on them. The legendary Liz Renay, looking aged, pasty and chubby, pops up in all her sexy and uninhibited fortysomethingish splendor as a stripper who bumps and grinds for all its worth in a seedy nightclub. Max Reed's shaky'n'scratchy cinematography gives this tacky flick an appropriately ratty look. An absolute cruddy hoot.

Don't go into this one with visions of Sue Shihomi kicking in your head. This is a lame 70s action flick from James Bryan of DON'T GO IN THE WOODS infamy. Linda (Renee Harmon) arrives in Las Vegas and is immediately attacked by some thugs. She is searching for some list on microfilm that involves a pimp and everyone wants to kill her. Seriously, that is all I could make out of this film's plot. It runs a scant 76 minutes, but I often found myself thinking, "What is going on?" Harmon - looking like a low rent Chesty Morgan - has zee zickest Cher-man ackzent so at least her dialog delivery is entertaining. Oh, and she does throw some wild karate kicks, licks a phone, sucks on a celery stalk, and gets nude. Naturally, a film this bad demands I immediately dive into the rest of Bryan's work.