Never Say Never Mind (2003)
NEVER SAY...NEVER MIND, the SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM find themselves in London at BUCKINGHAM PALACE receiving British Orders of Chivalry. But first, they must locate and destroy a copy of the infamous Los Alamos hard drive. Meanwhile, HELGA is missing in action in AMAZONIA and gets her Damehood in absentia. The other TEAM MEMBERS think that their next stop will be a leisurely yacht cruise and an appearance at the International Bikini Team Federation (IBTF) Open, where they will be judging the contest. Little do they know that intrigue, adventure, portable nuclear devices, a mutant yeast strain and danger in high places awaits.
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Reviews
Simply A Masterpiece
For all the hype it got I was expecting a lot more!
A lot of fun.
It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional
"Never Say Never Mind" stands head & shoulders above some other low-budget action spoofs I've watched recently, but still falls short of offering a fully satisfying "meal". Although the movie does a pretty good job of faking a larger budget than it probably had (including some on-location London shooting), it's still hampered by its budgetary restrictions, which allow very little action; there are only 2 fight scenes, which is a shame, because those 2 are surprisingly technical; whoever gave the Swedish Bikini Team grappling instructions did a commendable job. The girls themselves are pretty cute, and speak in perfect - undubbed - English. The film needed more of them and Bruce Payne (as their boss), and less of John Rhys-Davies, who may be a fine actor, but here he tries too hard for laughs, to little effect. The closing credits (as well as some unresolved plot elements) suggest a planned sequel; to this date, it has not been made. ** out of 4.
My favorite thing about the movie was the soundtrack! It's got a sexy James Bond feel to it. I know it's insane to give a movie an excellent review just for the soundtrack, but it is THAT good! The movie is kinda funny, but totally for guys. It's basically half naked girls running around, saving the world...which is kinda fun. There are some VERY FUNNY "guy lines" like "The four words most guys hate to hear from women...WE NEED TO TALK!" How funny is that?! How true is that!!!! This movie is like a sinful, frightening look into a man's mind. Also, the martial arts the Swedish Bikini Team used was totally cool. An interesting tidbit I learned is that the girls are actually expert marksmen.