Da Hip Hop Witch (2000)

I love this movie so much

I wanted to but couldn't!

To all those who have watched it: I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

When reviewing this film, it's hard not to be at least a little biased; there are people who love some of the hip-hop/rap artists in this film, and hate the rest, there are some who hate all of them(and the entire rap music genre), and then there are the few who love all of them(I guess, though I've never met anyone who loved all of them, especially since many of them hate each other). Let me say right now: I hate Vanilla Ice and Ja Rule, I have an enormous amount of respect and love for Eminem and his music, and most of the rest of these artists I am indifferent to(several of them I don't even know). I did indeed want to see this film because I knew Eminem was in it, though not as much for his talent or my being a fan of his, as simply the fact that I knew that he can be incredibly funny, as I've seen a lot of interviews with him, and he also played a great funny character in The Wash with Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg. And let me tell you right away, if you like Eminem's warped, funny sense of humor that we often see in interviews, you will like his performance in this film. He can really convince you that he believes what he's saying is true, no matter how bizarre it sounds. Many of the other rappers give half-decent witness statements, though a few were very bad and just took up screen time. Worst was probably Ja Rule and Vanilla Ice, in my opinion, but then again, that might just be because I hate them. The "main characters" of the film have unbelievably little screen time, actually, and are probably only there to make fun of the original group of morons from the original Blair Witch film. They only have one really funny scene, and then a scene at the end that obviously makes fun of a similar scene in the original Blair Witch, and apart from those two, I'd guess they have two or three other scenes, that might have one or two good jokes in total, while the rest, like several other things in this film, merely take up screen time. What's funny about this film is, even though there seemed to be so many low points and pointless scenes, I never really felt like turning it off, or leaving the room to do something more fulfilling, like I seriously considered with the original Blair Witch film. Maybe it was just to see the next hilarious Eminem sequence, but something definitely kept me glued to my seat throughout the entire runtime.A lot of the jokes in the film are based on what the viewer knows about hip-hop and ghettos, not to mention black slang, which definitely limits the audience of the film, though I would say that the title can't throw too many people off. This is a spoof of The Blair Witch Project, that revolves around various hip-hop stars. The plot is fairly incoherent and all over the place, though I think that's the point. Don't expect some huge plot twist or to be told a great story. It's basically some hip-hop artists making fun of the basic premise of the film, a witch hunting hip-hop artists. The acting is hard to comment on, I wonder if it's supposed to look as lame and bad as it does, which I'm pretty sure that it is. The characters are also all over the place, with only a few of them being part of the actual story(apart from, of course, the hip-hop artists themselves), and even fewer of them have enough screen time for us to actually recognize them, in the next scene they're in(but maybe that's just me). All in all, a decent film if you're a fan of hip-hop and you just want to have a good laugh that's mostly on The Blair Witch Project's expense, but not something I would recommend too many people to watch, as many will hate it(It appears that most who've seen it already do). I recommend it to *huge* fans of one or more of the hip-hop artists, or just people who'll go to great lengths to laugh at and mock The Blair Witch Project. Not something you want to spend too much money on(I got it as a gift, thankfully). 5/10

Ja Rule, what more do you need to say? Hes the greatest thespian of this or any other time. This movie scared me to death. Every night I experience traumatic night terrors of da hip hop witch coming to kill me. This movie is not for the squeamish, but those willing to experience a masterful working of horror will undergo a rollercoaster ride of adrenaline.

A truly terrible movie. Rap with a capital C. Eminem-tly missable.There is but one redeeming feature, a very good-looking actress by the name of Amy Dorris who looks like a great candidate for Miss Sweden, had she not been American, of course...It's a pity that beautiful young actresses like this are forced to accept roles in worthless efforts like this in an attempt to gain exposure, but hey, that's Hollywood for you. It would be nice to see Amy Dorris in a much better movie than this in future.

Easily the worst movie I've ever seen. This barely-there Blair Witch parody involves (1) a gruesome "hip hop witch" who scares rappers like Eminem, Vanilla Ice, and Pras, and lesser-knowns like Youngbloodz, (2) multi-platinum record sales for these same rappers (yes, apparently, even now the Youngbloodz have sold 4 million), and (3) a snoopy woman who works for some kind of magazine who suspects there is more to this "story" than meets the eye. Watching this movie is like watching a video on BET Uncut. You can't stop laughing, and it starts to hurt your eyes because the camera guy can't hold steady. I need to also mention the 5 freakish white kids (a stoner, a raver girl, a jock, and 2 idiots) who go off in search of this witch. Worse yet -- the witch lives in Jersey! Way to represent! And if that isn't enough, when the final scene reveals exact who or what da witch is, you will throw up out of disgust. Honestly, I don't know whether to recommend Da Hip Hop Witch because it is one of the worst ever made and you should see it for that reason alone, or if you're just a hip-hop fan and you're curious about the acting skills of all of the above and then some. I mean, does anyone else rememember Cool As Ice?