Bikini Airways (2003)

As Good As It Gets

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

Terri (Regina Russell), after inheriting an airline from her late uncle (and the debt that goes with it), gets a wealthy oil tycoon to pony up 25,000 to have his bachlor party on her first flight. Groan inducing jokes and soft-core silliness abound. Directed and written by Fred Olen Ray, and better then "Haunting Desires", not that that is hard to do, because I just left something better than "Haunting Desires" in my toilet this morning.Fred PLEASE go back to your B-horror movie roots.My Grade: C-The Goods: 6 Sex Scenes (M/F, F/F/F,M/F/F) Girl of the movie Award: Loni Lynn, I usually don't go for fake gazongas, but i'll make an exception

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*Welcome to Bikini Airways! We'll be traveling at 69,000 feet today. You may see us flying past cloud 69 as well. If you look down the aisle, you may also see the number 69 in action. We are cruising to Miami today so that this guy can get married. But before he gets married, we are going to throw one heck of a bachelor party for him. You see, our boss, (Regina Russell), inherited this airline. It was going nowhere fast. So in a fit of business genius, she decided to charter her plane to a rich guy for his bachelor party. Luckily for her, she had three entertainers/strippers/bimbos in bikinis working for her. These girls are ready to party down. The guy paid $25,000 for the flight and the girls will earn every penny.Your money will also be well spent if you decide to fly "Bikini Airways". It takes off fairly regularly from various late night cable channels. Although there are a few funny parts, don't be fooled into thinking that this is a comedy. "Bikini Airways" is softcore porn. If you're giggling during the sex scenes, something is very wrong. But if you're looking to fly to that red eye in the sky, hop on "Bikini Airways".

The story line is basically retarded. There are two excellent sex scenes with Regina Russell - at the beginning and the end of the movie. This 85 minute film could easily be condensed to about 20 minutes. Only watch a taped version so you can fast forward thru it.

Okay, I just saw "Bikini Airways" for the first time tonight, and I was pleasantly surprised just how funny this movie was. Sure, it had a mindless story, but the movie had so many gags and funny lines, it reminded me of any B-movie comedy Jim Wynorski or Fred Olen Ray ever directed.Here we have Terri (played by Regina Russell, the red-headed vixen) a woman with a womanizing, photographer boyfriend. She gets a call in the middle of the night....it seems her uncle has just passed away. Since he had no children, he left his old, decrepit airline to his niece. The man's name was Hugh Janus (get it?) and the airline is Janus Airways. Janus Air has two pilots, Sam and Dave. When they see Terri for the first time, Dave says, "Hold on, I'm comin'." A bit of an in-joke...funny stuff. It's up to Terri to get the airline back on its feet and out of a $25,000 debt. How is she to go about doing this? Hire strippers to put on a bachelor party during a flight! A slick variation of the old STSWB (save the something with breasts) plot device.Wild antics ensue during the flight, including various sex scenes, most of which feature the three models/strippers, Traci, Vicki, and Pam (Lori Lynn, Kylie Biscayne and Julie Snow). There was sex all over the place and then some. Gary, the guy chartering the flight, calls his fiance a couple of times during the flight. His fiance, Francine (played by porn star Maya Divine) talks on the phone with Gary three times while she's having sex with the delivery guy. I can't really describe these scenes, they're just too hilarious to miss.Here's one instance where the storyline was so bad, it was good. Sam and Dave, as the bumbling pilots, were quite funny. The three strippers were funny, Francine was funny.....so many characters making me laugh, and the movie only lasts 85 minutes. The sex scenes were plentiful and better than average for the most part. I'd recommend "Bikini Airways" to any seasoned Skinemax viewer, and even the channel surfers out there looking for heavy doses of nudity. I consider it tapeworthy.Women: A (Regina Russell looks very good in this one. I was under the impression she was going to stop doing these kind of movies, but it's nice to see she's still making them. I swear that Julie Snow, who played Pam, is really Amy Lindsay using yet another alias. She looked exactly like Amy Lindsay. The rest of the girls looked nice, too. Maya Divine, strangely enough, didn't pull this grade down very much, even though she didn't look quite as good as the other women. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because of her funny lines and sex scenes.)Sex: A (Plenty of sex, and the sheer amount of scenes keep the grade high. There's only a couple in the first half hour of the film, but once the action moves to the airplane, the sex scenes increase dramatically.)Story: A- (I'll be somewhat generous on the story here, because I understand what it was supposed to accomplish. Fred Olen Ray, one of my favorite B-movie directors, scripted a film with plenty of in-jokes, funny sequences and stupid dialogue that's supposed to make you laugh. It's like slapstick comedy with sex included. I like that sort of stuff.....not every softcore flick needs hot women trying to have philosophical discussions. My favorite quote is from Traci. "I kept getting D's and F's in school, so I figured I'll just go buy a pair of tits and do bachelor parties! Wooo!" It doesn't get any more mindless than that.)Overall: A (I laughed, laughed, and laughed some more while watching "Bikini Airways." It's sexy, it's funny, and it passes the time pretty fast. Slapstick humor always scores high marks with me, and adding a heavy dose of sex keeps me watching the entire flick. I thought it was great and worth getting on tape to watch again later.)