ThanksKilling 3 (2012)

Touches You

Boring

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Weirdest movie ever...bad in a very bad way. In other words, a huge crap sandwich with weird puppets. Nothing like the first Thankskilling.The movie starts out with a astronaut in a space suit in space with her breast exposed...then a puppet turkey in a spaceship shoots lasers at her and she is blown in half. From there the movie cuts to a Fraggle Rock reject puppet who has lost her mind, but when you watch her lose her mind it looks like her uterus is floating away. Lost yet? Well from there the movie cuts to the killer puppet turkey with his wife and son celebrating his birthday. The turkey looses his turkey mind and snaps when it is revealed that "Thankskilling 2 the only film shot in space is shelved" according to the news the turkey is watching. He then kills his turkey wife and flies away with his son in a phallic plane. Then for some odd reason the movie cuts to a white guy in a George Washington wig called Uncle something ( I don't remember his name but he sells turkey slicers via TV infomercials). The uncle talks to the Fraggle Rock puppet about her lost mind and promises her to play the only remaining copy of "Thankskilling 2" to cheer her up. From there the killer turkey shows up because he wants the last copy. It was at this point, one hour in that I shut the movie off. I typically like campy horror movies, but this was horrible. Don't even waste your time with this one, first movie I had to turn off before finishing. I wasted 10 minutes of my time typing this review so you will not waste an hour of you life like I did on this piece of crap. There are no drugs in the world to make this movie cool.

Utter garbage is an understatement. Sets a new standard for tastelessness. Ugly unfunny puppet nightmare. The only possible argument for it is that it's made from the ground up to be a bad and nonsensical movie but that doesn't change the fact that IT IS ONE. I've never felt so ashamed of watching a film. You've never seen anything like it, so I guess it's technically "original". But it's so tasteless and awful I'd rather take a lifetime of superhero and jump scare fest films that go through this monstrosity again. Nothing but crudeness for the sake of being crude. Ugly, disgusting, dumb, unfunny, tasteless, garbage, KILL ME!!ZERO/10!!

If you go into Thankskilling 3 expecting anything like what you got out of the first film you will be incredibly disappointed, maybe even confused. Of course Turkie, the antagonist from the first film, returns to spread as much horror, gore & death as would be expected, but this time the world in which his terror transpires is a much more foreign place. To T3's credit, the world it paints is extremely original... Filled with colorful sets, clever lighting, pulse pounding beats and creative characters and puppets that even Jim Henson would most likely give nod to. Unfortunately those aforementioned pluses are the only things T3 has going for it this time around.The plot is simple. The blood thirsty, mayhem starved Turkie receives news that the original sequel to his first film, Thankskilling 2, is being pulled and ultimately destroyed. Determined to not let his life's work disappear forever, Turkie grabs his son and sets out to find the last remaining copy. Immediately the film jumps off the rails, introducing character after character, each carefully imagined and constructed but none that add any real substance to the story. Random and potty humor is thrown against the wall like rapid fire and very little of sticks at all. It very quickly becomes extremely exhausting to be the viewer, very similar to keeping up with a toddler. This makes what bright points the film does have almost impossible to truly enjoy.Director Jordan Downey obviously has some talent... What he needs is an editor. T3 is ultimately a mess. The audience this film will find will certainly be significantly smaller than it's predecessor. I'm also willing to bet that the age of that audience will drop as well

ThanksKilling 3 is very different than the first movie, but I still found it incredibly enjoyable and very funny. It's completely ridiculous and comes across as a feature length Wonder Showzen but there's an undeniable charm that makes it a lot of fun. Don't expect a lot of killing as this one is more about spoofing fantasy films like Dark Crystal and Labyrinth than it is a slasher spoof like the original. The puppeteering is actually quite good in places and the synth soundtrack is one of the films highlights. This is going to be a movie you either absolutely love or absolutely hate but I commend the filmmakers for doing something completely different and off the wall. If you're into weird stuff and keep an open mind, I highly recommend this!