Diary of a Cannibal (2007)

Perfect cast and a good story

Fantastic!

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

I honestly watched this movie from beginning to end, I had the worst headache of my life and even watching Ulli Lommel movies couldn't make me feel worse. I can honestly say the only plus to this movie was that there was hardly no dialog, because the acting wasn't even worthy of being called acting.The story and characters are extremely unrealistic, this movie was inspired by the man advertising on internet to eat somebody and getting a response. Lommel tries to apply this on a seemingly normal 16 year old girl. The guy writes an advertisement on the internet "I want a girlfriend who is ready to do the ultimate sacrifice" and she responds. No dialog is spoken, so it's hard to say what they see in each other, but he seems like a nice guy. Out of the blue one day he says "I want you to eat my heart" and tries to justify it, she, I guess, says she dosen't like it and dosen't want to see him anymore (or they should not see each other for a while), but somehow he convinces her to kill him and eat his heart, why is never explained, neither is why he believes in this act.Lommel's explanation, I guess, is after the girl has killed the guy she puts the heart, liver and something more on a grill and walks around, her "father" has dialog... he died from *some* disease and has written her letters. One of the letters is "when you meet the perfect guy you should do anything to make him happy." Honestly, that is not how you reason to eat anybody. But honestly, this is a Lommel movie, he obviously lacks socials skills and don't even know what people say to each other - hence the lack of dialog.Was this movie scary? No. The actual killing isn't very graphic, you see her stab into nothingness and they show a wound. That's about it. Was there suspense? No. Did this movie make any sense? No. Was this a waste of time? yes.Honestly, you learn nothing about cannibalism, the characters are unrealistic and the movie is mind-numbing boring.

I got this movie from the $1 section at my local video rental store. I'm sorry that I even spent that much on this movie. I actually turned the movie right off after about 20 minutes...and I've never done that with ANY other movie. It seriously looks like some man just took his home video camera and filmed two kids staring at each other in a van and then every once in a while threw in a clip of a shiny knife with blood. Oh my! I almost WANT people to watch this movie...just to seriously see how horrible it is. It's almost comical. But I wouldn't do it, that's about an hour and a half of your life you'll never get back.

Wow. In short: Do not subject yourself to this. Ever.In long: This is, in my humble opinion, one of the worst and most misleading "movies" I've ever seen. The box, and even the artwork on the disc itself, suggest a very different viewing experience than what you are about to get. This movie is AWFUL, and by that, I mean first-year experimental film student awful. How this P.O.S got funded in the first place, let alone distribution through Lionsgate, is beyond me. Oh wait, it has an enticing title, and box art that is reminiscent of recent horror fare in the vein of 'The Hills Have Eyes', so people who like horror flicks get duped into renting it. I knew renting it was a risk, as most direct-to-DVD horror flicks are frankly, garbage, but I was in the mood for some cheap slasher-style fun, what I got was 84-minutes of poorly shot, cheaply edited, flashbacks. This movie has about 6 scenes that are recycled over and over and over. There is little to no dialog, and whenever there is any, it is horribly Mic-ed, it sounds in places like it was actually in-camera audio, with no location audio used at all. There are headache inducing montages in which 2 or 3 shots are overlaid on top of each other, the acting is Z-grade level, the gore is laughably pathetic, and the whole concept was wasted. There is the bones of an interesting movie in the concept here, but with no character development, no real reason given for the events that transpire, beyond horribly pretentious and annoying bible quotes that appear randomly throughout, and no action to speak of, this just really angered and frustrated me. I actively beg you NOT to watch this movie. No one in their right mind will get any kind of enjoyment from this. Ulli Lommer, find another career, you obviously don't understand the first thing about making a movie.Mike Renzella

I rented this movie looking for a typical gore-fest a la Romero. Was I in for a disappointment. It turned out the be the worst 82 minutes I've spent in a long time. Something could have been done with the story, reputedly based on actual events, but it was not. The set and location shots must have cast the production company hundreds of dollars. The were endless flashbacks that conveyed nothing and were put in solely to add some time to the film. It's a shame that there isn't some sort of "Gong Show" system that would have nipped this one in the bud before it contaminated the viewing public. I don't recall having seen an Ulli Lommel film before but at least I am now forewarned to stay away. Please, if anyone recommends this movie to you, I would suggest that they immediately seek professional help and counseling.