The Dark Matter of Love (2012)

best movie i've ever seen.

Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

The acting in this movie is really good.

Many people view adoption as such a wonderful and great thing. People who have always wanted kids can experience parenthood and kids that don't have a "family" get a family. Adoption isn't this cookie cutter concept though. Sharon McCarthy's, The Dark Matter of Love, sheds a light on the trial that can be adoption. This documentary show the struggles one family is faced with after adopting not one, but three children from Russia. It shows the hard part of bringing someone new into an already established family. A reoccurring theme in this documentary is the idea that adoption is an uphill battle from the beginning. This is shown to be especially true when established families are involved as well as when older adopted children. The film also emphasizes the idea of nature and nurture. The adopted children, although not from the same family, had similar tendencies due to their environment in the orphanage. But the film shows how the nurture given by the adopting family plays an extreme role in the development of the children as they grew up. The family featured in this documentary consists of a mom, a dad, a teenage daughter, and a family dog. To engage the audience the film shows the angle and view of each member of the family so that individual members of the audience can find relatable characters. The way the mom is adjusting is different from the dad, and so on with each member of the family. The film captures this beautifully allowing audience members to "put themselves in the families shoes" so to say. All people deal with stress in different ways and I loved how this documentary didn't sugar coat the ugly parts. Some parts were hard to watch but they also had me laughing. One very memorable humorous aspect of the movie was the language barrier between the American family and adopted children. Neither one of the parents knew Russian. The audience watches as these children curse at adults and the adults have no idea what they were saying. The comedic element to the documentary kept the tension lighter and helped to further engage the audience in the families journey. You tag along with this family as they go through this crazy journey. You feel there pain and their sadness but you also feel the accomplishments they make and smile with them as they experience the happy moments. This documentary was very interesting to me due to my interest in mental health. Being a psychology minor I find it very interesting how your childhood impacts your life and relationships with others. The theme of nature versus nurture really resonated with me. I think it would be good for a wide audience range because of its real life situations which are relatable to people even if they haven't been through the same situations. This film would also be good for people to watch because it shows you what children need as they are growing. They need more then food and shelter, they need love and a person they can depend on. I found this film very intriguing because so many people view adoption as this beautiful and amazing time but when in reality it can potentially be hard and very stressful for everyone involved.

The relatively peaceful (documented) outcome was truly against all odds, as many here have said. I enjoyed watching this, despite being slightly sickened and saddened by the emotional issues and blatant ignorance of the parents. As many have said, the experts' diagnosis of Masha was ridiculous, as she was almost unimaginably calm and collected considering the transition. (ugh that alliteration reminded me of the disgusting renaming of the kids to "C" names... a pathetic attempt to play "perfect family"). Sorry, I don't mean to bash the parents who were doing their best, as is everyone. Remember that. But to not learn any Russian? Jesus. The ethnocentrism of some American families is so sad. In itself, I don't know if the language isolation was that damaging, but it clearly revealed the ignorance and unpreparedness of the parents, and ultimately shows their lack of empathy and understanding of the THREE kids they adopted. The two boys could have been much more demonic, and I found the scene where they were cussing out the father hilarious. I would have laughed out loud if I wasn't also a little sickened by the father's disciplinary ignorance. Again, sorry for my bashing. To conclude: Masha was wonderful and would (will?) grow into a very intelligent adult with better caretaker modeling, hopefully some wise and loving adult appears in her life, the sooner the better. The boys have an impressive sense of self, and that will serve them well. Yes, the home environment is better than a Russian orphanage, but still much more superficial than most homes I've been in. To viewers in Russia: many Americans are much more aware and real then this family. To prospective American adoptive parents: not all Russian children coming from orphanages are going to be that easy. Best of luck to the family, and I hope they can help each other heal and grow, as all families have the opportunity to do together. Maybe this situation is what all involved need, and I am just acting ignorant by typing this snarky post.

Two naive but well-intentioned parents (with biological teenage daughter Cami) take on the adoption of three Russian youngsters simultaneously. Where was the social worker to advise against this? The children know no English, and the parents don't bother to learn Russian. The resulting disciplinary confusion is uncomfortable, and almost laughable. The children demonstrate two manifestations of Attachment Disorder: extreme detachment in the case of eleven-year-old Masha, and uncontrolled temper tantrums in the cases of five-year-old twins Marcel and Vadim. To make matters worse, the children's names are changed, without their input, to Americanized names like "Caitlin" and "Cody," rather than celebrating their Russian heritage.And yet the narrative redeems itself. Firstly, the attachment disorders are explained, and the family is counseled by professionals. There is a scientific anthropological thread throughout the movie. And perhaps more to the point: love conquers all in this case. In spite of the awkwardness, they all eventually find love and acceptance in their augmented family.

I thought this documentary was very moving, thought provoking and beautiful. It follows three children from Russia and their new adopted family from the US through connecting and finding their place together as a family. It portrayed in a very realistic way peoples need to connect, to feel a sense of belonging and stability. It also showed the consequences of how you are brought up yourself and past experiences will shape you as a parent. It was very interesting to learn how huge a role affection, love and connecting with other people have in a child's development.I found it moving and utterly fantastic. The movie showed how we all need relationships of love, support and safety in our lives. The basic necessities are not just food, water, air, shelter and sleep, we also need each other. I recommend this documentary t everyone.