Death Bed (2002)

Powerful

A brilliant film that helped define a genre

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

I caught this one on Amazon Prime under the title EVIL NEVER SLEEPS rather than DEATHBED. It's a straight to video Z-grade B-movie shot by the lamentable Danny Draven, with Stuart Gordon and Charles band producing for Full Moon Pictures. The whole thing has an amateurish look which means that it's impossible to take it seriously. A couple come into possession of a cursed bed which begins to make them act in bizarre ways, with an emphasis on kinky sex which comes across as quite laughable. The whole thing is very tame and cheesy despite the promise of the title and genre. Poor old Joe Estevez has the decency to look embarrassed by appearing. There are also a couple of low rent ghost and monster scenes, but overall this is quite pitiful.

Where do I begin, its one of the most frustrating movies I've seen because it makes a lot of sense in terms of the point but it comes off as seriously stupid. A movie about a ghost inhabited bed?? The first 2 minutes of the movie shows a black and white flashback of a weird looking fat dude going dominatrix on a Fabienne from Pulp Fiction lookalike contest winner and strangles her with his tie. This is supposed to set up how the bed factors into the story. Still though, if you wanted an opening to keep people interested or send them away early, having a strangulation is the way to do it. Fast forward to the present day, a married couple moves into an apartment with a friendly landlord and begins unpacking their things, so far everything's normal. Then one night while doing the hippity dippity on a single mattress, they realize they need a bed frame. This is where things get fishy, why didn't they bring or buy a g*d damn bed frame before they got there? We learn that the door leading to the attic where the first 2 minutes took place doesn't open but then once the couple realizes they need a bed frame, the door magically opens. They go up to the attic and discover the old bed frame and decide to bring it downstairs and their lovemaking days are saved...or so they thought. The rest of the movie centers around the both of them being haunted by the bedframe. The female is an artist so she starts drawing up the ghoulish images she dreams about and the male is a photographer so he starts having his models act as if they're bring tortured or tied up.(one of which has gray hair and appears over 50 years old, yuck) The female grows increasingly scared and she discovers the house she lives in was once a haven for serial killings and murders which bring about the end to the movie. They find the friendly landlord murdered (which makes no sense since ghosts need to take a human form to kill) and decide to get the hell out of dodge. While packing up, the husband moronically goes up into the attic where he is possessed by the crazy fat dude and the female bashes his skull in before the cops show up and take her to a mental ward where she kills some dude trying to hit on her.Well if you've read this far you have to be thinking one thing.......WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THEY JUST THROW THE BEDFRAME OUT THE WINDOW???? Seriously, they never said anything about the actual house being haunted, just the bed....so why not get rid of the damn thing and move on? That's why the movie is so frustrating because it actually is a good plot and the actors follow suit accordingly but there are more holes in it than Sonny Corleone at a toll booth. The couple did try to leave town as upposed to every other movie that has the ol "oh lets give this place a chance honey" scheme going, so props to that. Still though, me and my buddy who watched the movie kept saying every 5 minutes....why didn't they just throw the bed out? Especially once they learned it was haunted would have been a good time to set it on fire or something.All in all its a near-watchable movie with plenty of porno like bed scenes and a believable plot (to an extent) but the solution is so simple you're scratching your head by the end of the movie wondering how stupid can the married couple be? The highlight of the movie is when the husband tells the 50 year old model to spread her legs and his assistant tells him that he can't shoot her like that.4 out of 10 (a low budget porno The Man Show would love)

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* I bought this video for four bucks. So this couple finds a bed in their attic. They decide to sleep on their new found discovery. It's too bad for them that this is a Deathbed. Seems there was a murder on the mattress back in the 30's and the essence of the murderer still inhabits it. The bad bed helps the couple become more sexually active until pure insanity starts to take hold of them.You know, a big part of me wants to like a movie about a supernatural bed that makes you horny. But I'm afraid "Deathbed" is just so completely ridiculous that I can't get into it. Hey, if the bed is the problem, why not buy a futon? Why not break out the sleeping bags or check into a motel? This movie is cheap and proud of it. All it has is a bed. That's it. A big fluffy, scary bed. Someone saw this bed and decided to base a movie around it. Eeek. I'm scared. There's no action, tension, nudity (!) or scares. There's just a bed. This movie has got me feeling sleepy.

Made it through the first half an hour and deserved a medal for getting that far. Lots of excuses for scantily clad women but no real plot to speak of emerged in that time. What sounded like a good idea for a movie was badly executed.