Fraulein Doktor (1969)

The Worst Film Ever

So much average

A brilliant film that helped define a genre

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Most people won't expect much of this film if they judge it by its opening credits -- psychedelic lettering, weird music, cheap and lurid colors. It looks like the beginning of a grindhouse movie or one of those Japanese entries in which human organs are flung around with abandon. It's not that bad though, even if it's dubbed. It's a World War I spy movie about a pulchritudinous agent. The performances are solid and the script up to par. It begins with one of those phony military executions of the sort Tolstoy was subjected to. The priest blesses you, you're marched out, stood against a wall, offered a smoke and a blindfold, the firing squad lines up and addresses you -- and then the whole thing is called off.This story is about a German spy, Suzy Kendall, a morphine addict who penetrates British intelligence in 1916. At Scapa Flow, her machinations lead to a channel being mined by a German submarine. The mines sink a cruiser with Lord Kitchener aboard, an incident based on a real historical event. That initial fake execution, staged by Colonel Kenneth More, has convinced another spy, James Booth, that he'd better play cricket with the Brits, so he spills the beans about Kendall's appearance and activities. Kendall has done far more than simply assassinate Lord Kitchener. She's the one who gave the French poison gas formula to the Hun. Enough! The hunt for Kendall, dangerous spy and major doper, is on.A flashback takes us to Paris, where Kendall is posing as a maid in the service of a French scientist, Capucine. Kendall is a very adroit spy. Perhaps suspecting something about the nature of Capucine's libido, she allows the scientist to catch her in the act of caressing herself. Capucine, not in the least put off, asks Kendall to relieve her of her hampering boots. Kendall then shyly fondles Capucine's shapely foot, which must have been easy to do. The seduction follows tout de suite but, lamentably, tragically, it's off screen. Capucine demonstrates to Kendall how the gas works in a disturbing scene that has a dozen white rats apparently dying and then dogs spinning around as if impelled by an internal motor, before expiring in a spasm of shivers. I don't know if the animals went unharmed in the making of this movie. If not, they gave award-winning performances. Kendall makes off with the gas formula and returns to Germany, where she is decorated by a disapproving general.Booth, now turned by the Brits, is allowed to escape and report to his superior in Berlin, played by a delightfully hammy Nigel Greene -- hammy even for him. Green informs Booth that Kendall, though once valuable, has now been spoiled by her morphine addiction and is no longer of any use. Booth is instructed to do what all villains are instructed to do about another villain who is "no longer of use". BUT -- Greene has been suspicious of Booth since his return, suspecting that he was turned. And the murder of Suzy Kendall is another fake. She's alive, even after Booth believes he's killed her. Now, being thought dead by the Brits, Kendall will no longer be looked for, so she can work more freely. It gets complicated but ends up on the battlefield, with Kendall pretending to be a Spanish nurse. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of men die when the Germans use the mustard gas that Kendall supplied them with.It's not often that some elements of the production are so poor that they draw attention to themselves, but in this case it has to be said that the sound stinks. The performers are all dubbed, even if by the same actors. The model work is astonishingly chintzy. The audio effects are so bad they're sometimes repellent, especially noticeably during a gas attack, when the sound track shrieks with some ungodly stritulation void of any sense. When the hooded German forces attack, the composer has imitated the dissonant strokes of Prokoviev's score for "Alexander Nevsky." A good deal of research has gone into wardrobe. The diverse French, German, British, and Belgian uniforms are convincing, but make up and grooming are echt-1968. The women have eyelashes like black window awnings and their hair styles were very fashionable in the age of pop.It's a shame because the film shows evidence of a decent budget, the writing and direction are smooth enough, and the performances are all enjoyable. Except for Fräulein Doktor, whose expression hardly ever changes. Not that it needs to. She walks through the movie without ever manipulating her features, and her default expression is no expression at all. At the end, she is to break into hysterical tears because of guilt, but she's been knee-capped by the script, which has given no hint of any such emotion before. Fortunately, she's so comely that it's easy to miss her lack of passion. Her eyes -- her knowing, oblique, pale blue eyes -- bespeak heaven.

Two films of the 1960s I want to see in their entirety but as time goes by I don't think I ever will. Those films are Fraulein Doktor(1969) & Sands of the Kalahari(1965), both released by Paramount in the US. I have a reasonably good copy of Kalahari taped off of TV with the expected commercial cuts. But this is not the whole movie. I haven't seen nothing of Fraulein Doktor since I last saw it 25 to 30 years ago and as time goes by memory fades. I remember two scenes in Fraulein Doktor distinctly, the horseback poison gas scene & Suzy Kendall crying her eyes out in the back of a military vehicle after having committed once last deceit and afterward she wanted no more of espionage. Two memorable scenes. I agree with the other posters that the major studios will give a goofy modern joke of a film a wide video release but will completely ignore these gems. If I'm not mistaken neither Fraulein Doktor nor Sands of the Kalahari have had a home video release of any kind be it: Betamax, VHS, 8mm, Laserdisc or DVD. There!, ... five different formats from the last 30 years and these two movies cannot get a home video release of some sorts. There are other films from this era that also have never seen the light of the 'video' day. But time marches on, 40 years now, for the best print materials from films like FD & SotK. It would be a tragedy if we were to lose the best printing sources of these two films(at just 40 yrs) forever if they are not restored for present day audiences to enjoy. We're not talking about silent films, we're talking films that are as recent as 40 years ago. Another poster mentioned the Sicilian Clan(1968) which I saw for the first time a few weeks before 9/11/01. Excellent film and not on video yet either to my knowledge. But the other two films are wonderful and deserve to be on DVD.

After seeing again Fräulein Doktor on NetFlix streaming video (before I cut that service, thanks to its notifying me two days ago of its massive pricing increase in September), I realize that this movie was nowhere near as good as I thought for years. So I am making a massive rewrite of my previous very positive review of this WWI spy movie. As others here at IMDb have commented, that brief scene of soldiers on horseback marching onto a gassed battlefield is very impressive, the group of seven or so horses wearing horse gas masks and protective body covers. The problem is the closing scenes in the final third of Fräulein Doktor on or near the battlefield wreck this movie.In the end, the character of Fräulein Doktor is pushed of the stage by scenes of trench warfare, scenes of soldiers with the flesh on their hands being eaten away by poison gas and a subplot tossed in about German soldiers posing as French soldiers to break into military HQ to copy battle plans. While these goings on are happening, Suzy Kendall's Fräulein Doktor is busy running around in a nurse's uniform as part of a Spanish contingent of nurses on their way to the Western Front to treat wounded allied soldiers. Somehow the Doktor speaks Spanish perfectly, with no German accent.Netflix's streaming video version of this movie seems to have included the full lesbian scene between Suzy Kendall and Capucine, a scene censored on TV airings of the movie. Capucine plays Dr. Saforet, who is developing a new poison gas. In the scene, Capucine kisses Kendall on the lips, hot stuff back then. The scene does serve a real purpose, to show how Fräulein Doktor gets her hands on the poison gas.Another scene, not censored, shows Kenneth More, playing a British intelligence officer, telling a caught spy to either talk or the spy will play the Wall Game. The wall being opposite a firing squad, with little chance of the spy winning the game. That sort of cynical attitude played well across national borders in the Vietnam War era.Fräulein Doktor is a demonstration of how, 40 years ago, the once great film industry in Western Europe could turn out movies that had broad appeal all over the world. In the late 60s, while the big Hollywood studios were on the ropes, Italy, France and England were turning out movies to fill the void left by Hollywood's decline. There were the James Bond pictures (Doctor No was a surprise hit in the USA, it was first released at the Century theater chain in NYC with a 99 cent afternoon admission price), the Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns (with A Fistful of Dollars released by a distributor that never paid the Italian producers a dime) and French crime movies that usually went to art houses, with exceptions like The Sicilian Clan. And there were European co-productions like Doctor Zhivago and, of course, Fräulein Doktor. Fräulein Doktor was good enough that some viewers still remember the movie decades later, long after it was out of circulation.Trouble is, my memories of Fräulein Doktor do not include the badly photographed battle scenes, the poorly done model work showing a warship in a storm, the terrible ending of this movie and the unnecessarily graphic scenes of soldiers' rotting flesh. Suzy Kendall, though, is just as beautiful as I remember her.

I am not ordinarily a fan of spy thrillers because the spies always seem to live in their own world oblivious to the realities of the rest of the world around them. But this film shows for the first time a spy who sees first hand the results of her work. There is blood on her hands literally as well as symbolically. It is interesting that the one time we see a spy coming face to face with the realities of their handiwork, it is a woman who is the spy. Like others have mentioned, the battlefield scenes contain some of the most horrific scenes of war carnage ever shot. Not since Akira Kurosawa's "Kagemusha" has the futility and horror of battle been so profoundly depicted. No war was more futile and insane than the first world war, and the grisly images of melting skin and soldier's bodies spasming and writhing in agony are a perfect illustration of one of the biggest turning points in world history. War was no longer played according to rules or any standard of humanity. This is also poignantly shown in a scene when a German general reluctantly pins a medal on "Fraulein Doktor" because she'd killed Lord Kitchener and Kitchener had been a personal friend of his. One has to put aside some of the 60s-style make-up and hairstyles, but most of the acting is very good and the whole movie will keep your attention all the way through to to the riveting climax. Id' rank this along with "Gallipoli", "Paths of Glory" and "King and Country" as one of the best WWI movies ever made. And to echo some of the other comments here.... I wish I had taped this!