Zaat (1971)

The Worst Film Ever

That was an excellent one.

Excellent but underrated film

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Oh dear. Where to begin? Let's just start by saying that this is a very low budget production, and it shows, in every possible way. There are no actors with any previous experience in film or TV. Production values are abysmal. I wonder if some of the actors were even paid. Yet even this doesn't account for just how bad it is.The plot involves a bitter scientist who turns himself into a human catfish and releases chemicals into a small Florida town's water supply as part of his plan to turn humanity into fish and conquer the world. He then proceeds to take revenge on the former colleagues he feels wronged him, and to kidnap first one, then another woman to serve as his fish bride, before the authorities catch on. At this point, you've probably already spotted the clichés; the mad scientist bent on revenge and world domination, and the monster kidnapping a bride. There are also the expert scientists who come to investigate, and the obligatory incompetent hick sheriff. At least he doesn't come off as crooked or racist.And the plot problems don't end with the clichés. If the townspeople knew that Doctor Leopold was a Nazi who had performed strange experiments, why hadn't they already run him out of town or sent him to an asylum? How could the sheriff not immediately realize the doctor was linked to the monster? Even a total moron should have considered the man who'd put forth a thesis on turning men into fish as a person of interest. And what are the chances that the doctor's colleagues from the university would all live in the same sleepy little town? A far greater problem is that we never believe for a minute that his plan can succeed. The over sized, flesh eating catfish he releases are little more than a nuisance to the townspeople. His tampering with the water supply- which is supposed to transform the people into fish- only causes nausea, dizziness, and other minor health problems. This might be because he's spreading the formula with a squirt bottle. Results improve when he goes on land and begins killing folks himself, but even then it only amounts to a handful of murders. This guy can't even conquer Hicksville, much less the world! I also have to wonder why, if this was shot in Florida, is the scenery so drab. Several springs are mentioned in the credits, but it mostly looks like swamps and murky ponds. Even the beach at the end is far from scenic. Maybe it's just the poor quality of the photography, and these places are actually beautiful in real life. I don't know. What I do know is that the indoor sets are even worse. The professor's lab is obviously someone's basement. Inside are props such as a waist-high above ground pool, a jury-rigged apparatus for lowering victims into said pool, and various consoles with lots of knobs and flashing lights. One console looks suspiciously like a carnival fortune telling machine.As with any super low budget creature feature, there is a comparatively large amount of stock footage. But its use here is particularly inept and downright puzzling. For some reason, the director felt the need to cut to clips of marine life during underwater attack scenes. I personally would rather see the doctor struggling with his victims than footage of turtles and crayfish. Swamp creatures just don't provide good reaction shots. There's also the problem that much of the stock footage is of ocean life, while the scenes take place in freshwater. Did the filmmakers think audiences wouldn't know that coral reefs aren't usually found in lakes and bayous? The use of flashbacks, although sparse, is still more perplexing. It's not unusual for a killer to flash back to when his victim wronged him. But why on earth does he have to flash back to what they were doing the moment before he attacked them? This movie can also be painful to listen to. The soundtrack consists mostly of over processed electronic "music" in the style of Phillip Glass, and the opening credits are accompanied by "Sashay through the Sargassum", which would surely have won the award for worst original song if the Razzies had been invented yet. We the audience must also suffer through Doctor Leopold's Mad ramblings, such as "Sargassum, the weed of deceit", and "Nets are no longer for fish. We may use them on you humans if you survive." These lines and many more are all delivered in the same tedious monotone.I've put off describing the "human-catfish" suit for as long as I can. Whoever designed this suit had absolutely no idea what a catfish looks like. The suit has no whiskers. It does have lots of bony scales, whereas real catfish are smooth skinned. There is also a coating of algae in certain places, which gives the impression of fur. As for the face, I'll defer to Mike Nelson, who described it as an "amphibious warthog." I should also add that the guy playing the monster clearly has no experience in suit acting. All his movements are slow and jerky, and at several points, he stops and just stands there for a while before moving again. There's also a part where the deputy gets bitten on the leg by a water moccasin and spends the rest of the film limping as a result. This is nothing like the symptoms of a real snakebite.I could go on and on, but I'll end by saying that the only things right with this movie is that it's in color, it has continuity, and you can hear most of the dialogue clearly. That's really not much. I would recommend seeing the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version. Under no circumstances should you watch the original cut.

The movie starts with an exceedingly inane narration overlayed on some kind of nature show about fishes. It then moves on to show the narrator, a scientist type guy, who bumbles about his bleepy, bloopy blinking lights laboratory doing sciency stuff. He then strips (not a pretty sight) and immerses himself in a pool full of red water, by which he is turned into a hilarious looking "walking catfish monster" (guy in ugly rubber suit). Said monster then spends the rest of the movie bumbling about in much the same way science guy did, only the monster kills people instead of doing science, all set to swamp sounds like "wuuuh" and the like, plenty of clips of water creatures spliced in for good measure. Meanwhile, hero type and love interest girl have shown up in their camper van and red jumpsuits, accompanied by overly dramatic music where ever they go. It takes them a good half an hour to figure out who the monster is and where to find him, then hero type spends the rest of the movie stumbling through a swamp in search of the monster and his kidnapped girlfriend. Final fight ensues, the end.As you can tell, the film is mostly a lot of boring stumbling and bumbling, not really moving in any direction. When anything does happen it is often rather ridiculous, and the monster, which is the main focus, is ridiculous all the time.

Zaat or Blood Water's of Doctor Z (made famous by MST3K) is a terrible made movie mainly due to the fact that the first 10-20 minutes of the movie are simply a mad scientist transforming himself into a "walking catfish" and talking to fish. Seriously, there is an entire scene dedicated to him talking to different species of fish. And apparently becoming a walking catfish is supposed to enable you to be able to conquer the earth... who knows how.There is also an odd scene of a bunch of people singing... and a sheriff... it has nothing to do with the plot. This movie is just terrible and the movie isn't black and white, but simply a terrible shade of red. Seriously, who films movies to be red and white? It's awful.

I consider myself a connoisseur of bad movies, but this one is really something special. Compared to this, Plan 9, The Room, Manos: Hands of Fate, and even Killer Shrews are all masterpieces.There are unanswered questions in almost all movies, but there are simply so many in this one:First and foremost, why exactly did crossing a man with a catfish seem like a good way to rule the world?Why do they keep cutting to a sea turtle during his attacks?What did the octopus have to do with *anything*?Why did the guy who was following him still need the Geiger counter *after* he had him in plain sight. While we're on the subject, why didn't he simply shoot him at that point?Why didn't the sheriff use the gun in his hand? Opting for a fist fight with a man/catfish really seemed like questionable judgment.While we're on the subject, where did that gun go?Finally, they rescued the girl *before* he did anything to her, so why did she decide to become a fish at the end? Was she bowled over by his charm?Anyway, all I can say is wow. Just, wow.