The Last House in the Woods (2006)

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

How sad is this?

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Yes, it seems they completely ran out of ideas by the end of the movie. It turns out, two parents had a son, he was born with a dental defect and they took him for a monster. You'll realize this when the mother says, "Giulio was a monster", and then, she explains "he was born that way... look at his teeth". So, because the boy had bad teeth and he seemed like a monster to them, they decided to isolate him in the forest. They found other persons with special needs to live with them in order for the boy to have "a normal life." One day the boy bit his father's hand and somehow managed to bit off his finger, so they had this great illuminating 'eureka' moment, they had the brilliant idea of feeding him human flesh. So, they went out and started to kill... to feed their child... like any parent would, the mother explains. Brilliant, just brilliant!

This movie is just like watching an old 70's horror film. Remember the oldies with the bad dialogue, terrible acting, and badly cut film? This movie perfectly captures that old feel. If you're a fan of those old movies, you'll like this.The movie starts out with a couple who get attacked by some thugs on the side of the road. They are rescued by a couple who take them to their house in the woods. And of course, they have a secret. And it involves feeding their kid and strange family members in unusual ways.The gore is good. The film cuts are hilarious. They really captured the bad shots, and if you're a fan of those old films, you'll really get what they were doing. Like the camera will hold a really long time on a weapon and it's just hysterical.I was really surprised by this film. I would love to see more modern films made this way.Ten stars.

If the wardrobes and home decor weren't so modern, I would have sworn this grimy little movie was an authentic 70s Italian gore film. Really, it had almost everything, as I shall try to illustrate. First, we're treated to a mom, dad and little boy driving home down a long deserted road in the middle of nowhere. After running over a well-placed booby trap, the car crashes, dad dies, and mom and kid escape to get help. Help doesn't REALLY come though, and the little boy takes off running through the woods. Flash forward to recently broken-up young lovers Aurora and Reno, who decide to "talk" about their problems on the same lonely road. They're beset by three obnoxious young men who want to rape the girl and beat the boy. But help comes in the nick of time from a fashionably dressed couple. Unfortunately, it's not REALLY help and our young lovers soon find themselves in the terror-filled "Last House in the Woods." We've got a creepy, androgynous kid with an annoying voice (Fulci, Burial ground). We've got well-dressed moms with issues (tons). We've got family secrets (tons of gialli). We've got crazy lighting (Argento). We've got a bizarre synthesizer score (tons). We've got gore, vomit, and pus (the good ones). We've got a David Hess-looking main bad guy (House on the Edge of the Park). We've got one crazy dude with a chainsaw (Hooper, not Italian but still). We've even got a guy who acts like a zombie, since there wasn't a logical way to throw in a real zombie. Oh, and the threat of some good ol' Papa Fulci eyeball violence. It's like an Italian "Scream," bringing back the conventions the writer-director grew up with. Plus, like all good Italian gore films, it doesn't make a lot of sense.Is this a good movie? No. But "Last House in the Woods" is an entertaining little time warp, made enjoyable by some fun gore and a love of the movies that came before.

In this Italian horror movie, young Aurora (Daniela Virgilio) and her boyfriend Rino (Daniele Grassetti) are ambushed by a gang of hoodlums who wish harm on them, but thankfully good Samaritan Antonio (Gennaro Diana) comes to their aid.He takes them to his home, which lies in the deepest recesses of the woods, and soon Aurora realizes that her savior is in actuality her devil. He introduces her to his family, including cannibalistic sons, and soon Aurora and Rino are in a fight for their lives, and their only true saviors are the hoodlums who once attacked them.It seems like this film was made a long time ago, with the old camera effects, but the storyline is highly engrossing, and the gore is there in spades. It reminds me actually of the classic horror flick "The Last House on the Left," and with the similar title it might be why I connect the two. I also enjoy how the bad guys at the beginning of the film end up being the good guys in the end. Its always nice to see people change their ways.