The Unholy (1988)

One of my all time favorites.

Crappy film

A lot more amusing than I thought it would be.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

This is a pretty poor EXORCIST rip-off with more dodgy special effects than you can shake a stick at. The film isn't helped by a confused plot, which bombards us with bizarre visuals and keeps repeating key points over and over again instead of taking the film in new directions. In the end, it all boils down to something so simplistic and vague that it was hardly worth making a film of it.This is a typical example of late '80s horror; despite trying to be scary, it just falls apart when the abysmal and rubbery special effects come into view. As a film, it's just too '80s to take seriously, with billowy and weird hairstyles, appalling fashions, and lots of bizarre dream sequences which make little sense. The story of a priest fighting demons is an old one, and needs to be done with a better script than it has here. Admittedly the film starts off well, with some real scenes of tension concerning the fall, but quickly descends into meaninglessness with the introduction of a Satanic nightclub which seems to serve as a den for perverts and punks who are into leather and mock rituals.This film has a cast better than it deserves, with loads of well known, earnest actors making fools of themselves by appearing in this. Ben Cross is pretty good as the lead, but fails to give his character life or even make him likable. Ned Beatty plays an extraneous cop who totally disappears from the film towards the end with no explanation. Goodness knows what Trevor Howard was doing appearing in this mess, but he obviously needed that paycheque very badly. There's also a silly '80s guy with bleached blond hair who looks like a right idiot.Things fall apart very quickly towards the end of the film, after a lot of mumbo jumbo and nothing much of substance happening. Then, all of a sudden, the producers suddenly decided to throw in as much nudity, gore, and violence as humanly possible, so we get people being nailed to crosses, getting gutted, set on fire, vomiting blood and lots more. When the "demon of desire"'s true form is finally revealed, it turns out to be a huge dog-like rubber monster which looks absolutely fake. I can appreciate the scenes of the creature walking unaided which are in their own way impressive, but mostly the creature is seen in close-up and very obviously being held and moved from inside. I know the special effects were typically bad in '80s films, but come on, did they ever expect anybody to find this scary? Things get even worse when Cross very nearly falls into Hell, portrayed too literally. All of a sudden a load of rubber masks appear on screen, flashing past in quick succession, the dry ice machine goes into overdrive and a hole comes out of nowhere. The eventual sight of the demon dog falling into the pit is hilariously awful. Then there's an ending which seems to rip off THE BEYOND for inspiration. Watch out for the bit where the priest says "Get thee behind me Satan!" too - it has to be seen to be believed. THE UNHOLY is a missed opportunity and a good example of all that was wrong with the '80s horror film - starting off with an interesting plot, but quickly descending into special effects madness.

The Unholy was a film that had an awful lot of good going for it, but like the teenage boys who have rented this back in the day, it blew it's load all over the floor after the hot redhead shows up naked in the first minute of screen time. Me, I'm a sucker for any film that deals with possession, the catholic church and priests. I guess it was my upbringing, but nothing terrifies me more than the thoughts of demonic possession or exorcisms.Unfortunately, the only terrifying thing here is how poor a director Camilo Vila is. We start of with a priest praying at the alter of his parish church, only to be confronted by some hot demon in the form of a naked redhead. We get a good peek at her pubes n' bubes before she rips the horny priest's throat out with her bare hands. Cut to a few years later, and young father Michael (Ben Cross, looking very suspiciously like HP Lovecraft...hmm) is brought in by police detective Stern (Ned Beatty) to try and convince a rooftop jumper to come down. Somehow, this guy turns out to be possessed and throws Father Micheal out the window.By some miracle, Father Michael wakes up in hospital without a mark on him. The local Archbishop (Hal Holbrook, really slumming it here) decides that this is the priest he has been looking for to re-open the church after the last priest was murdered. Father Michael isn't here long before some strange things start to happen in the church, and he himself is seeing visions of the naked redhead, and being drawn to investigate things further.To spice things up, we get scenes in a 'satanic' nightclub, where Father Micheal meets probably the worst actress in this film, Millie, (Jill Carroll). She may somehow be connected with the past murders, or is it her bizarre boyfriend/boss, William Russell? I won't bother trying to piece together the plot of this one for you, suffice to say it ends up in a pretty fun monster mash in the church, as Father Michael finally battles 'The Unholy'! The Unholy has two glaring problems from that start. A terrible, nonsensical script, and direction that's flatter than Paris Hilton on her back. Some scenes are so badly directed it's hard to tell if the cuts between two actors talking are actually between two people in the same room! Events happen with no real tension, and drift off the screen just as lazily. We do get some gory and sexy goods in the opening scene, but then it's a full hour before anything else really happens. We are just left to watch legendary actors like Hal Holbrook and Ned Beatty stumble through poor dialogue whilst Ben cross looks like he slipped into a coma for most of the shoot. As I mentioned, Jill Carroll's performance gets a standing ovation for laugh out loud moments. Some scenes (Her finest moment is when she has a breakdown and starts shouting 'no!daddy no! don't touch me again!' Has to be seen to be believed) might of had some weight to them if directed properly, but I get the feeling director Vila was too gob-smacked by the hysterics to do anything but let the camera roll on her for five minutes.OK, enough complaining, because The Unholy isn't without some merits. Firstly, it delivers nicely on nudity, which is always a good thing. The only actor to get props from me here is William Russell, who gives a thoroughly entertaining performance as the pimpish boss of the nightclub. He also gets a pretty sweet death scene, which is one of the few great moments in this film. Also, when the demons finally get angry in the last twenty minutes and appear, some good stuff goes down. who would have thought that one of Satan's top demons has midget monsters as part of his entourage? Well, now you know. The demon or 'Unholy One' himself is pretty mean, if not a man in a badly articulated rubber suit. The f/x are by the guy who did the Hellraiser f/x work, but here, he is let down by too much bright lighting and poorly set up shots. Probably not his finest moment. We also get some random flashes of gore that have nothing to do with the film, but were added by the producers looking to get the blood hungry crowd in. Fun times.This is the kinda flick most of you will never bother hunting down, unless you saw it years ago on VHS and are looking for a stroll down memory lane. As I said, there is some fun to be had here, I just wish the actual film-making didn't suck so hard.

I was looking for something good out of the 80s and stumbled upon this one.Father Dennis (Ruben Rabasa) is praying and is tempted by the demon in the form of Nicole Fortier, who, unfortunately, only made two movies. Now, the Pope himself would not be able to resist her unholy charms, so Father Dennis had no chance and died for his sins. he was not the first.Father Michael (Ben Cross from the new Star Trek) has a miraculous fall from 17 stories, so the Archbishop (Hal Holbrook) assigns him to Saint Agnes, not fully informing him of what he was up against.Ned Beatty, one of my favorites, plays a police Lieutenant who is trying to solve the murders. William Russ ("Boy Meets World", American History X) is a club owner that practices Satanic Ritual. One of his employees, Jill Carroll, tempts the good father with her holies, and he resists, proving that he is ready to face the demon with her unholies.Lots of boobage, some blood and gore, and fascinating special effects, especially the exploding midget.

I've recently been watching a lot of movies on the TV channel FearNet. While most of these are supposed to be cheap horror flicks, I've actually found some of them quite impressive. Usually not for what they are, but because of what they contain in certain scenes. For example, "Down" (aka "The Shaft") is about a haunted elevator, but contains the original version of the song "Come On", of which a later version was the first song ever released by the Rolling Stones. Also, "Blood Diner" in its culmination played the same music that appeared in Chuck Jones's "What's Opera, Doc?"; you read that right: a slasher movie stirring memories of a Bugs Bunny cartoon.Alas, "The Unholy" has no such qualities. It's just the average Devil-themed movie, with an evil spirit leading priests to their doom. I only recommend it if you're into demonic possession movies...or for the shots of the woman in the see-through gown.Starring Ben Cross ("Chariots of Fire"), Ned Beatty, Hal Holbrook and Trevor Howard.