Puppet Master X: Axis Rising (2012)

The Worst Film Ever

Dreadfully Boring

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

Blade, Jester, Tunneler, Pinhead, Six Shooter, and Leech Woman are back! Okay, maybe that doesn't really warrant an exclamation mark, but this is the tentpole franchise of Full Moon Features, now reaching ten films in all (eleven if you count "Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys"). Writer/director/producer Charles Band is also back, but I was kind of disappointed by this sequel. Our WWII era heroes from the previous films, Danny and Beth, are back as well, though played by new actors, and find a post-WWII Nazi plot to create an army of their own evil puppets to do their bidding, using a Re-Animatior like green serum extracted from our puppet protagonists. Not that any of the films in this franchise are exactly brilliant, but this one felt too jokey. I did like it when the franchise introduced the Nazi storyline and had our homicidal puppet heroes fighting the Axis Powers, but this entry was just silly and also continued the unfortunate recent trend of Full Moon Features including casual racism, seen in this film with in addition of an evil Japanese puppet named Kamikaze. However, I do still enjoy watching little things fighting big things (i.e. "Attack of the Puppet People" "Dollman" "Child's Play" etc.) when it's not CGI, so even though this entry wasn't all that good, it did still entertain.

The whole idea of Puppet Masters are way up there on my list, most movies today are lame or boring or nothing cool about it, besides very few movies draws attention to me. I always liked puppet or doll movies due to their the most creepiest. For me personally, i think this movie is really good, i liked the main character, and his girl. I really liked the Sarg, he was big and funny in my book, and sadly he had to die. Usually that happens in horror, the odd but cool guys die, and same old, same old that live. But the main character which i forget names as i type so i think its Danny, i am sure of it lives so that i am happy for.And Blade is the usual, awesome and cool looking puppet. I love watching him, he brings humor and etc to the table to me. The rest did a fairly great job and it isn't the worst, movie and its my FIRST IMDb i ever reviewed, mostly i tired of the low ratings on this, i just bought it off walmart and i recently saw it, yea there is times where looks cheap or so like when Bombshell was shooting her teets guns and the two people in the background didn't run away as 1 would, i mean really? Some of the puppet fighting was a little lame but funny. For me personally i cant wait if it comes out with a new one. But its my taste, not everyone i guess. The worst one was with that mentally ill character barely showed puppets all about the love triangle this was more of a two part series, so i like it, and i rather have the puppets be good than bad, or else be routing for the EVIL versions of the puppet masters than doing good against evil with them. Just my opinion.

All I can say is that I was blown away by how bad Axis Rising is and I am realistic knowing what Full Moon filmmaking is all about. Not even the puppets or the new evil puppets could save this film from its terrible awful premise. The acting especially the new Danny and Beth were just plain unwatchable. The story of the new Nazi's and their doctor was outlandish and complete rubbish. For the hot German not even to take her clothes off was an opportunity missed by the writers and director. The acting was atrocious from start, middle and end and even the dialogue is cheesier than normal. I had a couple laughs and enjoyed some puppet action from of course Blade and Six Shooter otherwise nothing in this film was at all enjoyable or interesting. Avoid watching unless you are a fan or the series it should be viewed for free online.

It can best be summarized by what I learned from the film: 1. You'll always have time to change your hair, makeup, clothes, and overall appearance when on the run from puppets. 2. AK-47s were actually used by Nazi's and used before 1947 when the Russians started using them. 3. It's easy for Nazis to get into the U.S. undetected and prance around Los Angeles in full Nazi uniforms. 4. While Leech Women and Jester could easily escape a cloth bag, a puppet with a drill on his head CANNOT. 5. Cool puppets like Ninja just disappear without a good explanation. 6. In one day, Danny was able to upgrade from a small apartment to a two story house. 7. ONLY Chinese women can be called Dragon Queens NOT Japanese women. 8. Don't trust EVEN Bible salesmen 9. Women were allowed to be high ranking officers in the Nazi army 10. The U.S. Army is unable to detect Nazi's who wear full uniforms in Chinatown where they're the only White people there. 11. Protecting heroes is beneath a sergeant who has served 11 combat tours 12. Nazis were able to sneak in Hitler busts and swastika statues into the U.S. 13. Nazis are not afraid to speak German in public and on U.S. soil 14. Heels are the perfect footwear for women sneaking around a Nazi hideout. 15. As menacing as puppets with guns can look, there's a chance that they're VERY inaccurate especially if they're designed by Nazis. 16. Kamikaze is historically the first puppet who says words as opposed to grunting, whimpering, and laughing. 17. What the hell happened to Blitzkrieg and Weremacht? 18. Letting the person who created evil puppets go instead of getting him arrested by the army is a smart move.