Bog Creatures (2003)

Don't Believe the Hype

A lot more amusing than I thought it would be.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

"Bog Creatures" is the best movie I've ever seen in my entire life!!! I recommend it to all of my friends- and they agree, if they are indeed my true friends. Anyone who hates this masterpiece is obviously a player hater who isn't worth wasting any more text on. If people came into the movie and expected it to be "scary", they are not only a player hater, but also an ignorant player hater, and shall be referred to the previous sentence. Where should I start? Wall-to-wall hilarity. Everything about it is so shitty. They have subtitles for a Viking mummy (you heard right: Viking mummy) who understands English. Damn I love this movie. I can't even finish my synopsis since I've become overwhelmed to purchase "Bog Creatures" so I may enjoy it again and again! One word summary: YES.

They really don't make them like this anymore. It kinda reminds me of the whole Hammer flicks. You know, the ones that starred Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Anyways, this one relies on atmosphere rather than gore or nudity. Which I'm not saying is a bad thing. The acting was surprisingly good for the budget this movie had. And it was shot-on-film. Another great thing about this movie was Debbie Rochon! She did such a great job. She needs to start winning awards for her performances. She's so great! Well, that's all I have to say. I give it a 10!!!

Selected by the world's most over-acted expert on "Irish bogs located somewhere in the Central U.S.", a group of college kids go to dig in a field somewhere in Arkansas, I mean, Ireland. Or maybe it was Norway. Or Sweden. Hell, it doesn't really matter because there isn't a bog within 300 miles of this movie. Unless I'm confused on my history and bog actually means "small dirt field with a few pine trees and some poorly hung fake moss."Rumor has it that Viking warriors were buried in this bog and the expert professor has spent the last 10 years looking for their bodies. All of his colleagues think he is crazy for believing this.Well not only is he crazy, he's also blind as a bat because these Nordic Zombie Warriors are all over the freakin' place. Seriously. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting an undead Berserker in the wee bits. In any outdoor scene you can be guaranteed there is at loeast one bog creature hanging out in the background. And our EXPERT can't spot one in 10 years?Blah blah blah, terrible acting, 1200 year old undead Irish virgins who comprehend Modern English, witch descendants, THE END.

We rented this one because we pretty much knew it would suck and we figured either way, it would be fun. Anyway, last night, I finally got around to watching it and I was kind of surprised that it turned out to be somewhat watchable. The plot (what little there is) concerns a group of misfit teens being "selected" to go out and dig for junk where a bunch of "bog people" once lived. Once some corpses uhm, I mean artifacts are discovered, weird stuff starts to happen. That's it. Since we learn jack-all about the characters, you will not care about one single person here. There is no gore whatsoever and the creature (zombie) effects are pretty damn cheesy. Did you ever watch that show that used to play on Nickelodeon called "Are You Afraid Of The Dark"? Well, if you can remember back that far to what those effects looked like with all the fake fog and whatnot, then you can get a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. It's on the same level. Now, I just watched this last night and the only character that I even came close to liking was the guy who swallowed a pair of panties (!). I do remember a couple of cute girls running around (Don't get excited. There's no real nudity to speak of) and there was this guy who looked like he was trying to be a body double for Tommy Lee. His faux tough-guy persona was fun times. There was also this guy with a weird accent that showed up close to the beginning then just disappeared. That's too bad. He was funny. All in all, it's a pretty decent effort that makes good use of its low-budget (although, not nearly as well as "In The Woods").I think the coolest part of the Dvd was the "making of" that was tacked on. Here, we get to go behind the scenes and meet the director. He's a pretty likeable guy with some interesting things to say. He gives us his definition of "guerilla film-making" and we learn about how the idea for the story was conceived. If you're into b-horror, you may want to give this one a look. It's (if nothing else) worth a rental and the premise of a Viking/horror movie is actually kind of original in this day and age.