Vampire Hookers (1978)

It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

The acting in this movie is really good.

Amiable horny sailors Tom Buckley (likable Bruce Fairbairn) and Terry Wayne (the equally engaging Trey Wilson of "Raising Arizona" fame) are looking for some female action while on shore leave in the Philippines. The duo run afoul of droll vampire count Richmond Reed (the ubiquitous John Carradine hamming it up with his usual eye-rolling aplomb) and his three gorgeous sex-starved bloodsucking nymphets Cherish (luscious brunette Karen Stride), Suzy (comely blonde Lenka Novak), and Marcy (deliciously voluptuous knockout Katie Dolan). Veteran exploitation feature director Cirio H. Santiago and screenwriter Howard R. Cohen offer a constant barrage of amusingly dumb jokes about such topics as eating duck, transvestites, the inevitable barroom brawl, and Bloody Mary drinks (groan!). This flick reaches its gloriously ghastly peak during a marvelously protracted ten minute orgy sequence set to crudely thumping and monotonous disco music that seems to go on forever. The cast have a field day with their broad parts: Fairbairn and Wilson make for affable leads, Carradine recites poetic dialogue with infectiously hearty gusto, and legendary Filipino B-movie favorite Vic Diaz is a gas (literally!) as Pavo, a bumbling idiotic servant who desperately wants to be a vampire and suffers from severe flatulence (he even backfires in his coffin!). Better still, Stride, Novak and Dolan are all smoking hot babes who aren't the least bit bashful about baring their beautiful bodies. Both the competent cinematography by Johnny Araojo and Ricardo Remias and Jamie Mendoza-Nava's generic ooga booga score are suitably cheesy. The goofy ending credits theme song is absolutely priceless. Sure, this picture is total schlock, but it's way too good-natured in its campy stupidity to either resist or dislike. A hilariously dippy hoot and a half.

Oh man, this movie is worth watching just for the theme song!! If you are a collector of B horror movies or like to pop 'em late at night you must see this movie. Most John Carradine movies are bad and this is for sure no exception! This gem is complete with bad voice overs, bad acting and a Super Awesomely Bad orgy scene. This movie is pee your pants funny and it's one of the worst movies your little peepers will ever view. Seriously, this needs to go in any B Horror movie collection. Jeese, I can't believe they made this movie, but I'm glad they did. It's just too funny.

Vampire Hookers shouldn't have tanlines...should they?They're VAMPIRES!Vampires don't sunbathe!

Two female vampires pretend to be prostitutes at the urging of their male counterpart. You probably can guess the rest of the plot. The movie is pointless and crude.