We All Scream for Ice Cream (2007)

Just what I expected

Good start, but then it gets ruined

For all the hype it got I was expecting a lot more!

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

I have three more films left until the end of the "Masters of Horror", but I think it's safe to say that this is the worst episode of the series. I didn't give up watching and I didn't have to struggle to endure, but I didn't enjoy either... not a bit. The story is extremely stupid, uninteresting, undeveloped, full of holes and illogicality, and above all unoriginal. It was not literally stolen from King, but it reminds of "It" so much that coincidence is excluded as an option. The group of kids, led by cruel bully, pulls a practical joke on mentally challenged clown who sells ice cream, and they accidentally kill him. Decades later, he's back from the grave and uses their children to get even. Atmosphere is very King-ish and, if movie wasn't so repetitive, it could have been terrifying, but because the clown kills his victims one by one in exactly the same way the only effect this movie leaves is boredom. I'm terrified of the clowns and I watched this alone, at night, in dark, and it didn't cause me even the slightest goosebumps. "We All Scream for Ice Cream" is too stupid and lousy to be scary and not stupid or bad enough to be "so bad it's good" kind of fun. The most terrifying thing about this movie is the feeling that it will never end.3/10

Bet the writer and director had this conversation: "Dang we need to do another one!" "Hey, lets just rip off an old Stephen King movie, no one will ever know!""Yeah, no one under 25 has seen em... how about IT?" "Great idea!" Then it's settled, "We'll copy IT, easy enough." "Yay!" Says The Director, "The less work I have to do, the better."They high-five and laugh at all the morons below them. Then the two rape other films that someone else wrote for them. Everyone involved gets a pay check and the day is done. Enjoy the crap or don't watch it.

So far...as I watch the Masters of Horror episodes in no particular order or without regard to Season One or the second season, this episode "We All Scream for Ice Cream" is easily one of the weakest(only slightly better than "The V- Word." What did I like: the opening about a creepy ice cream truck, the scary clown(played wonderfully and almost anonymously by William Forsythe), and the story about a gang of not-so-tough-looking youths and a stuttering clown who sold ice cream. The first half of the episode is gripping enough and has plenty of atmosphere but as the tale unfolds one sees how barren the script is with logic until the very illogical, unsuspenseful, lame ending. The way people are killed, how Buster came back, and that ludicrous thing at the end with the strawberry ice cream made me laugh in a "wow! this is pretty bad!" way. Look, the acting is engaging. Colin Cunningham plays a crazy guy well, and I must confess the bathtub scene is disturbing and way over-the-top. Lee Tergesen(of Werd Science fame) plays the lead well-enough. His wife is attractive and decent, and the kids are all acceptable except in the flashback where we just get some ludicrous story from the past. The line, "It will be bitchin" had me rolling as it came from the lips of a kid who looked softer than the the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Buster the Clown is worth seeing the episode. Forsythe is so genial in the flashbacks and so pernicious in the "present" as a Ghost/Clown from who knows where. The line from the ice cream truck is used throughout to the point of ad nauseum. What about all that temperature freezing stuff? Did anyone else notice it? And how were two bodies buried when there were no bodies left. No investigation either? maybe I am over-analyzing here. But this episode had room to delve into these things by getting rid of all the repetitive stuff. Admittedly, this is a fun episode, but is it great or even good - NO WAY! Director Tom Holland, I guess, deserves his title if for nothing else than Fright Night, but he shows himself to be more of a novice than a master here.

Many years ago, the children of a small town accidentally killed the local ice cream man (a clown named Buster). Now all grown up, the same "kids" are being killed off and it seems that the ghost of Buster is to blame.Many good things can be said about this film, and the nicest thing I can say is that William Forsythe (Buster the Clown) is a great actor who is not well-known. But he should be, especially with performances like this. The best parts of this episode were the children's interactions with the clown.The visuals were also nice, with the death scenes being some of the messier ones you'll find. (Not necessarily "gory" but definitely messy.) It was like the scene in "Robocop" after the guy gets the toxic waste all over himself... yeah, you know the scene.The biggest problem with the film, and it is all over this one, is what seems to be a lack of new ideas. Now, director "Tom Holland" has done some great films. But he's made some stinkers ("Langoliers"). So, I'll blame him even though he's working with someone else's short story. But we have the concept of a childhood accident coming back to haunt/kill the kids as adults. Not new. Some people have said it's like "Nightmare on Elm Street" because the man they killed is now talking to their kids. I can see that. I think the more obvious connection is "It" -- a clown who returns after about 20 years (although I think it was 30 in "It"). Either way, nothing really new. I did like the idea of "voodoo ice cream"... that ranks at least as cool as "The Stuff".Clowns, ice cream, voodoo. The reason for the return is left unexplained, which makes me a bit disappointed. (Sure, I can say "The spirit wanted revenge" but that's a cop-out explanation). I've enjoyed other films less than this, but at the same time this wouldn't make my "Top 100 Horror Films", so unless you have a lot of desire to see it, just keep walking.