Satanic (2006)

the audience applauded

Don't listen to the Hype. It's awful

Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

After a car crash which kills her father, Michelle (Sorell) wakes up in a hospital with amnesia. Dr. Barbary (Scrimm) informs her that she has months of reconstruction surgery ahead of her. Once she recovers, Michelle is sent to a place called Harmony House a place for troubled teens. Jackie (Diane Ayala Goldner) and Bisson (Rick Dean) runs the house and are clearly stealing from the few teens who are residing there. To make matters worse they are also inept as counselors. Michelle finds herself with a satanic Ouija board and a diary she can't make heads or tails out of. When fellow teens begin to die, the sleepwalking detective played by top billed Jeffrey Combs is called in to investigate and collect a paycheck. This sad, sad movie is tedious and stupid a mere five minutes into the running time and doesn't get any better. Annie Sorell looking around 29 years old is playing the teen and Scrimm and Combs are in it for the money. At least Scrimm isn't as obvious about it as Combs mailed in performance is. The dialog is pitiful, the acting wooden and the direction stale. C'mon, you know this movie. It's the one with too many flashbacks, burned up demons talking in hokey demon dialect, a twist ending you see coming 45 minutes ahead of time and no scares or jumps anywhere to be found. This gives straight to DVD features a bad name.

After a car crash, the teenager Michelle (Annie Sorell) has the face completely destroyed and amnesia. In the hospital, she is called Bride of Mummy due to the mask she needs to wear along her therapy. However, her doctor makes a perfect facial reconstruction using family pictures and Michelle is discharged from the hospital and sent to a home that lodges young offenders since she was considered a troublemaker before the car crash. The police release her possessions of the day of the accident – a journal and an Ouija board - and Michelle moves with the host Bisson (Rick Dean) to his house. On the same day she leaves the hospital, the janitor is murdered. Michelle shares a room with the outcast delinquent Dalia (Eliza Swenson) and she has dreadful nightmares during the night and is confused. She befriends Larry (Brett Erickson), who shares another room in the house with Dutch (Brian Burnett), and tries to help her. When Dalia is found dead in the room with cuts in the wrists, the evidences are of suicide; however Detective Joyner (Jeffrey Combs) suspects that Michelle is the responsible for the murders.The greatest attraction of "Satanic" is certainly the name of the cult- actor Jeffrey Combs in the credits, but unfortunately he has a minor role. The screenplay is a complete mess, with a poor development of the characters; and the worse, this lack of information of the characters is part of the predictable plot point. The unknown Annie Sorell is completely miscast in the role of a teenager since she is certainly twenty and something years old. The same happens to Eliza Swenson. The conclusion is terrible, with many deaths without any consequence. My vote is three.Title (Brazil): "Jogos Satânicos" ("Satanic Games")

Wow!!! This was without a doubt Angus Scrimm's (tall man from Phantasm) best work since the first Phantasm film as well as, Jeffrey Comb's best and must nuttiest performance since the original Re-Animater film. Scrimm plays a deranged doctor who unknowingly finds himself in the middle of a Satanic mystery involving a Ouija board (NEVER SEEN A OUIJA BOARD THIS SATANIC!!!). Jeffrey Combs plays the role of an over-rambunctious cop who is trying to get to the bottom of a case of grizzly, deranged murders that he believes involves the board and an ominous set of twins who find themselves in the confines of a Juvenile delinquent half-way house.I highly recommend this film as it's in the vein of "The Omen," and definitely adds a new twist to the horror genre that I think Horror fans will absolutely go crazy over. IF YOU'RE A HORROR GEEK LIKE I AM, GO RENT AND OR BUY THIS ASAP!!!

Woooaah Nelly!!! Talk about a cinematic suckfest! This movie blows. Wait it sucks. Damn, I can't decide which it does more but it's very very poor quality crap that barely qualifies for the status of being an actual movie.If you are in an UBER stupid mood you can sit through this just to watch a dumb movie. It's pretty incredibly lame w special effects and it's absolutely the most unbelievable acting ever. If you don't mind a so bad that it's kinda good in a retarded way- you can add this to your roster of crap to half pay attention to sometime. However- if you are looking for a decent horror movie keep walkin' buddy, nothing to see here.. nothing to see here.A few things to show you how dumb this movie is- some scenes of the bandaged face are bandages, others are a hard mask that is obviously different yet both are supposed to represent the same thing- which is pathetic.Right in line with the production quality of the rest of this worthless dog.The lead girl is pretty curvy though. One yum to that.