Habitat (1997)

To me, this movie is perfection.

Absolutely Fantastic

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

It's crazy to think that in 1997, the year of Titanic, Gattaca and the Fith Element, someone out there thought that this film was worth spending money on. Watching a VHS rip on Youtube now, you could be forgiven for thinking this was 10 years older still - and yet, even the Running Man makes more sense. Nonetheless, if you like your films amusingly bad, this will hit the spot. Every character is a two dimensional stereotype (the sadistic PE teacher is a perfect cliché creation), the story makes no sense except to serve the special effects, there is slime literally everywhere, a pseudo-scientific script is jazzed up with a few f-bombs (they draw the line at motherf---er though. This is a family film!), and - of course - boobs. I counted 6 female characters that get a speaking part (of whom: one does no more than complain about slime on the carpets, another only gets to say "but he's so hot!", and another, despite TWO men warning her not to manages to cause a catastrophic explosion), and three of them have exposed breasts. That's a 50-50 getting to at least say something out loud : objectification ratio. Dear oh dear.One great idea to come out of this though: use of pollen as a weapon. Autocratic regimes of the world, stop wasting your money on water cannons and tear gas - this is the future!

Right off the bat it must be said that 'Habitat' is very poorly directed film, and as bad as the direction is the script (by Director Rene Daalder) is even worse. The script is so utterly derivative and over the top ridiculous that it's amazing the typewriter it was conceived on didn't explode in shame. It also contains some of the most astonishingly bad dialogue in recent years (The line "It's you isn't it? You're that one potato" deserves it's place in the bad dialogue hall of fame).The special effects are equally poor, most of the time looking like something out of a bad 1980's Duran Duran video...And then there's the performances.The term 'almost universally bad' springs to mind here. Balthazar Getty, Alice Krige and Chris Heyerdahl all act like they're in a coma, but compared to the rest of the cast thats a good thing. The rest of the cast ranger from truly bad (Bruce Mackay, Kris Holdenreid) to unbelievably irritating (Kenneth Welsh, Katherine Trowell, and Tcheky Karyo, who seems to have forgotten how to act altogether). In fact the only passable performance comes from Laura Harris, but even that's far from good.Not even so bad it's good, this is a painful experience to watch and is utter crud even for the most ardent (or hard up) sci-fi fan. Stupid in the extreme, this has absolutely nothing to recommend it other than a little exploitative nudity (and if you're truly that desperate rent a porno or a Troma film instead) this is the type of film making that makes Ed Wood seem like a genius in comparison. 99 minutes of your life that you will never get back, this is the very definition of a terrible film. Avoid (and thank me later).

OK, let's see if I get this right. In a future where the ozone layer has been depleted, a scientist moves his family out to a desert community where he turns the inside of his house into a lush rainforest that proceeds to grow out of control. Meanwhile, his son faces the slings and arrows of adjusting to life at his new high school where he is pushed around by bullies under the command of the sadistic P.E. teacher. Also, government agents who have deemed biological experiments illegal arrive to destroy the house. That about cover it?There's a pretty neat idea lurking around somewhere in this science fiction/ecological drama/haunted house/love story/teen drama, but it gets pulled in so many directions it just turns into a soupy mess.In fact, now that I think about it, the only thing that really stands out in my mind about this is a delightful skinny-dipping scene with Laura Harris, the cute blonde who would later star in the also lame "The Faculity".

That is the one word that could decribe nearly everything about this movie. Gross acting, gross love scenes, gross plot, gross actors...Except for Balthazar Getty. Balthazar Getty is *definitely* not gross. Everything else was. So, if you don't like Balty, or weird, disturbing, scientist love making, then don't see this piece of cheese they call a movie. Get "Species" instead...