SuicideGirls Must Die! (2010)

Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

A brilliant film that helped define a genre

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

As if the plot, acting, body art, and cheesy arguments weren't enough. It appeared that Amina has a prosthetic leg. I don't know a damn thing about the suicide girls, I watched this movie while I was waiting for weather to clear so I could do something more productive. Overly tattod girls are just not attractive in the least and their scabby, pale, anemic bodies didn't help. The stupid arguing when the group was dwindling rapidly about what to do was over the top. "Eight girls are missing, we need to do something!" I'm here to shoot a calendar and thats what I plan to do! Besides it hasn't been 24 hours yet." Holy cow, what deplorable dialogue. This is 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back.

I did manage to sit through the whole thing. It had sound, moving images, some sort of plot, and characters.I suppose I'm at the right age and of the right gender to enjoy this sort of thing...young alt women in various states of undress. But it didn't appeal to me at all. For one thing, these young women have particularly unattractive personalities. For another, contrary to what others have written, they're pretty plain-looking and not much of a turn-on, even nude and trying to pose seductively.I think it really began to irritate me when four girls in a boat, even when equipped with a very nice paddle, couldn't seem to get their boat the last 100 feet to the shore. Nope...got to strip (literally) and swim to shore.As for the final resolution and climax of the story, if you can't see it coming from a mile away, you don't watch many movies.Better than "Birdemic," but not by too much. Still, watchable in parts.

People were offended by my first review, so I will try to be nicer this time.This movie really isn't very good because it is just full of typical horror movie clichés.To wit- "victims" are picked off and yet the rest of the characters are unaware of their danger.Everyone has video-cameras that they continue to use even when they are in mortal danger of losing their lives. (Again, a trend started by the "Blair Witch Project" and continued with films such as "Cloverfeild" and "Quarentine".) It strains credulity because your last reaction to "Someone is trying to KILL me" is "I'd better get this all down on tape!" Oh, yeah, let's not forget the "My Cell Phone doesn't work out here" device. Because I guess screen writing is still caught in the 1980's, before 4G network coverage. Because "Working Cell Phone > mad killer", unless you cheat.But the main problem with the film is that the Suicide Girls themselves are such unpleasant, unlikeable people that you simply don't care if they get killed or not. There is no one in the film to root for. Most films of this genre have a "Jamie Lee Curtis" character you kind of like. Not here.The fact that not a one of them can act probably doesn't help matters all that much.

. . . unless your idea of horror is a bunch of totally unclothed girls with body piercings and extensive full-color tattoos pretending to be actresses in a movie people would pay money to rent. They ONLY part of SUICIDE GIRLS MUST DIE! that is a tad horrible is when the mosquitoes start biting them during their au naturel woodsy fashion shoots. Their attempt to rip off SURVIVOR with infrared shots and a "confessional booth" for to-the-camera soliloquies is totally lame, as is all their half-hearted whining about "missing girls," when it is clear they are NOT actually upset about anything (except perhaps the mosquito bites; hopefully the crew had some Calamine lotion on hand). The most gifted actress featured in this film is the lady plays one ticked off "Mainer" when the girls' minibuses stop for a roadside ditch wee-wee stop in front of her home. Unfortunately, this irate lady apparently was a REAL person, as her name DOES NOT appear in the credits. Other than acting lessons, perhaps the best advice that can be given to the self-proclaimed Suicide Girls for their next cinematic effort would be: don't forget to pack the toilet paper!