Satan's Playground (2006)

The Worst Film Ever

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

This is a tender, generous movie that likes its characters and presents them as real people, full of flaws and strengths.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

This is by no means meant to be taken seriously as a film as it's a film based on a silly tale of the Jersey Devil (like Bigfoot,Yeti,The Mothman) it's a bogeyman made up to keep people out of the desolate Pine Barrens region who from what I understand is miles upon miles of wooded area,that's easy to get really lost in.The old lady was supposed to be the ghost of the woman who bore The Jersey Devil,Mrs Leeds &it seems both she & 2 of her half-wit kids rob & murder anyone who's car breaks down & if they don't get you the Satanists who sacrifice their victims to the Devil & "his son"will.This reminded me of a great 80's B-movie from Troma called Mothers Day.The actresses are 2 of my favorites from previous B horror films.The lead is Felissa Rose from Sleepaway Camp fame & her sister in the film is Ellen Sandweiss from The Evil Dead, who is the chic who gets some horrible tree love & then is the first to go demonic in the film,well in this she is a terrorized Mom w/h a baby. Both actresses are NEVER going to be top Hollywood stars but to their fans after nearly 20 + years of not seeing them in anything it was a pleasant surprise.Also the old woman who plays Mrs Leeds was an extremely creepy old Italian woman who would've made a great witch & the daughter in the pigtails is one of the most nightmarish characters i've seen in a long time.You can obviously tell director Dante Tomaselli grew up on B-horror from his video store from the 80's as this film has that type of feel to it all the way through. Their are some seriously ridiculous moments in this film,like why would the cop HAVE TAKEN the girl back to the house where her whole family was murdered without any back-up?He wouldn't! And towards the end it seemed like they were running out of script ( or money) but this was a unexpected delight as if it sucks really bad i usually turn it off within the first 5 mins. And believe me there is a lot of horror out there you'll turn off cause it's so bad.Loved the scene where the old Mrs Leeds character was doing rails of cocaine but another question?Where did she get the coke from?Stolen from a dead victim? The SAatanists? The jersey Devil? LOL! But this film is good B-movie fun & Liked it immensely.*** OUT OF *****

I don't know if I should have added a warning about spoilers, but that's because I couldn't find a point to this movie at all! Seriously,I don't know what I'd be spoiling? The characters must have had some point, but I couldn't find it, and I will not subject myself to watching this train wreck ever again! Maybe you need to be part of a satanic order of sorts? The most shocking thing is this movie found distribution! If 0 was a score, I would have given this pearl a minus 10! Im sure anyone not associated with the film, that have seen it will agree! But if you don't please let me know what the hell this film was about! This film is one for the Twilight Zone!

I can honestly say that I have never seen such anon-entertaining film. Its pretty bad when a slasher flick manages to be boring. But this movie is both boring and repetitive.Basically, here goes: Family of fools breaks down on the side of the road. One by one, they ask a family of murderous psychopaths for help. One by one, they get murdered. There is no acting in this film. Everyone says their lines as if they're made out of wood. The set is just some abandoned house. The AV quality is mediocre. The plot is close to non-existent (knock on door, DIE). The Villains are one-dimensional and utterly unbelievable. This movie is an utterly cheap piece of trash.

*Shakes head*... Why did I sit through it? I knew after the first five minutes that it was going to be utter tripe.I'm a fan of a lot of low budget horror but this really had no redeeming features. I sincerely hope that this is the last we see of this awful man and his total lack of talent. He should not be allowed to make movies.The acting wasn't the worst of it, not by a long shot. The script and direction is where it really falls apart. You will be continually shaking your head in disbelief at the shoddy and stupid turns that the plot takes.And it's not even funny. It's not even "so bad it's good". You may well want to kill yourself for sitting through it. It actually made me feel slightly physically ill. It's really that bad.Do not watch. If you feel you have to, see how you like the first five minutes. You didn't? Well, switch off and save yourself some time. Wish I had.