Don't Look In The Cellar (2008)
A group of college students regret their decision to sneak into the cellar of a haunted asylum on Halloween. One by one they encounter Smiley, the last of a flawed bloodline.
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This is How Movies Should Be Made
In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.
It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.
The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;
A group of college students regret their decision to sneak into the cellar of a haunted asylum on Halloween. One by one they encounter Smiley, the last of a flawed bloodline.This movie is very cheaply made and poorly directed and acted. The story is stoopid beyond belief. Believe it or not it begins with a couple nurse dressed the way Frederick's of Hollywood would dress a nurse! No joke.Some of the sets consist of sheets tacked to a wall and the Smiley the bad guy is gay and a half, rendering him laffable.It's just dismal.
How can anyone insane or in their right mind conceive such a rotten pile of garbage as this movie? From the very beginning, excruciatingly to the end this movie stinks through and through. There are bad movies that manage to entertain for some comedic value but others (like this) that are so terrible they're just plain annoying. This movie isn't scary, frightening or funny in any way, shape or form. I've seen more entertainment in mildewing bread and I'd be ashamed and embarrassed to associate myself with a big stink-bomb much less pose next to the poster. Whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances, boredom or temptation watch this junk!
Two girls go into an abandoned 'asylum' for their sorority initiation and of course meet untimely demises by Smiley (a mental patient who wears a burlap sack with a smiley face on it). This is all a story being told by a class teacher, some of the students get intrigued and wish to find out what really happened (well that and they want extra credit)Other than perhaps masochism on my part, I actually have no earthly idea how I was able to sit through this excruciatingly bad movie. Less than 10 minutes in I was already regretting my decision and it only got worse from there. Putrid acting, a lame 'heavy', and with a cast of obnoxious characters that I had no interest in whatsoever. AND to add insult to injury there's not even any nudity... FOR SHAMEMy Grade: F
I mean seriously, how the hell can this have cost $1.2 million? Surely they didn't pay any of the actors, because I'm fairly certain none of them had other work and would have paid for any film role.It doesn't look like they actually used any film. The costumes must have come from a charity shop (or did the actors bring their own?). I'm fairly certain the sets where essentially wherever they decided to get the camera out. Fake blood doesn't cost that much.Seriously, there is only one reason this film can have been made, and that is to try and make a clean sweep of the Raspberrys.It is terrible, terrible, terrible, on so many levels.OK, so I've given you the build up.Now go and watch it. It is so bad, it is side-splittingly hilarious.