Blood of the Iron Maiden (1970)

Better Late Then Never

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

In his book, JOHN CARRADINE:THE FILMS, Carradine biographer Tom Weaver lists this as a lost film, as he was unable to locate any copy of it while writing his book. Since then, this long-unseen cheapie has been slowly reappearing in the offerings of some obscure Internet video distributors, so if you are dying to see it, start surfing! The film's original title, IS THIS TRIP REALLY NECESSARY?, was far less misleading. There is no Iron Maiden in evidence until late in the film, and the current title is derived from the last 30 seconds of screen time (I kid you not!). Contrary to word-of-mouth, this is NOT a horror film! The current title must have been thought up to con grind-house patrons into thinking this is a horror film.The plot involves a Russ Meyer-type nudie filmmaker (played by an outrageously hammy Marvin Miller) who drugs his actresses with Speed so they will lose their inhibitions and strip on cue. Meanwhile, the boyfriend of one searches all of Los Angeles to try and rescue her from the porn king's clutches. Despite the plot, viewers will undoubtedly be disappointed to learn there is no actual sex or nudity on screen.Since the film had been unseen until recently, many people wondered if co-star Carole Kane is actually famous actress Carol Kane before she was "discovered". The answer is no; Carole Kane does not look at all like Carol Kane. Sorry, folks! John Carradine has a cameo as a crazy doctor, and he has a string of genuinely funny one-liners. The sequence looks like it belongs in some other movie, and is the highlight of the film. Aside from Carradine's hilarious cameo, there isn't much to recommend this movie. It is virtually plot less, with Marvin Miller ranting and raving to his girls about how great he is, which comprises much screen time. This gets old very quickly. Bottom line, it should be seen perhaps by Carradine fans, and by people who have wondered about the film all these years, but they will be disappointed. Others are better off avoiding it.