Neon Maniacs (1986)

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

I enjoyed watching this film and would recommend other to give it a try , (as I am) but this movie, although enjoyable to watch due to the better than average acting fails to add anything new to its storyline that is all too familiar to these types of movies.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Blistering performances.

A group of teenagers are partying in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park when they are over run by the neon maniacs a collection of mutants, monsters and ghouls. Hanging, decapitation, stabbings and many other forms until the only survivor is Natalie (Sarelle). The Police don't believe her and she can only convince Steven (Hayes) the grocery delivery boy who has a crush on her. A fellow classmate Paula (Locke) also experienced an encounter with them while making a movie in the Park. Eventually Natalie and Steven allow Paula to join them and they discover that water will kill them! What? So they arm themselves with Squirt guns and head to the school dance where Stevens' band is competing in a battle of the bands. The gig is invaded by the maniacs and all hell breaks loose. No explanation is ever given to who or what the maniacs are and why they live under the Golden Gate Bridge. We also don't know why the live in rainy San Fran when water is what stops them. Wrapped inside this goofy storyline is a movie that is very well lit and slickly made. The gore and effects are the reason to watch here and its harmless 80's fun. Kendall Schmidt's musical score is annoyingly bad even for the time period. It would have fit better on a TV sitcom than in a horror film. There is mindless fun to be had if you completely check your brain at the door.

Title: Neon Maniacs (1986) Director: Joseph Mangine Cast: It really doesn't matter, trust me Review: Oh my god. Lovers of extreme cheezyness and bad B-movies rejoice! I've discovered a truly cheezy, utterly bad film that you lovers of z-level entertainment can totally immerse yourselves into! Neon Maniacs! The story goes something like this. A group of high school kids decide to hang out a the local park, you know, the usual teenage stuff: beers, making out, bad eighties music. So in the midst of this little party they are having 12 psycho killers pop out of their underground layer and decide to kill the 12 kids in the stupidest ways possible. But wait! One of them escapes! And the killers cant have a witness running loose, so they decide to go after her at all cost! So thats where our movie begins.When I popped this film into my DVD player, I was ready for what was coming. I knew that this movie was going to be cheezy beyond all hope and that the acting and music was going to be terrible. Yet in spite of all my mental preparation...I still could believe how terrible this movie was! And I've seen some bad films in my lifetime! And I've managed to enjoy a few of them precisely because they are so bad like for example Troll II or Demon Wind, but Neon Maniacs was just too god awful.I thought, well its got a cool premise. Twelve different creatures killing off people left and right? I thought there were some possibilities for cheezy, trashy entertainment. Something maybe along the lines of The Toxic Avenger films or something. You know, the type of movie that you KNOW is low grade but you can have some fun with. Well, sadly that was not the case with Neon Maniacs.First off, we get the creatures. Heres the thing about them. They look stupid! I mean, there's one thats supposed to be some sort of jungle boy and his got this little bikini on...there's one thats supposed to be a samurai...one is supposed to be a war veteran. But heres the thing, you can never really get a good look at them. It seems the budget was so low that they hid the make up and their faces in a lot of shadows.So you can never really connect with any of these creatures or monsters. They are just a bunch of undefined shadows, and I mean this both literally and metaphorically. Heres the worst part: these villains are weak! They have absolutely no motivation as to why they kill! They have no origin story to accompany their sad existence! They are just there! And they kill! Thats it! You'd think that with such a wide range of characters appearing in a movie you'd have some sort of cool reason for them being who they are. I mean as it is, they are these crazy ass cartoon characters Samurais, war crazy veterans, Indians, biker dudes who we know absolutely nothing about! They just pop up from their underground layer with their crazy Halloween costume get up and kill people. What is this a reunion for the Village People? As far as we know, there's no mutants, no alien invasions or toxic waste being spilled anywhere...these guys just exist. And it didn't matter to the filmmakers to explain to the viewers why.Anyhows, aside from the villains looking absolutely ridiculous and giving me a few reasons to giggle, we also get some of the worst characters in the universe! Girl survives the killers attacks, so what does she do after 11 of her best friends are murdered? She goes to school as if nothing had happened! Then, when one of the characters knows where the villains hide out and what kills them she decides to go to the local battle of the bands show instead of trying to get people to help her and kill the creatures? Come on! Where are her priorities? One of the characters is a horror movie director wannabe...and shes filming her vampire movie in a graveyard. The vampire in her little film is about to suck the blood from a virgin. But there's one little problem, shes filming this during the daylight! Heellllooo? Anyhows, there's many little things like this that let you see that a bunch of idiots were the ones in charge of making this movie.The movie has some of the worst music ever committed to a motion picture. Ever seen one of those crappy ass wedding videos with that terrible syntheziser music on the background? Well thats exactly what they used through out this whole movie! And it really really blows! Trust me on this.Aside from all this, I found some mild enjoyment in the 80s nostalgia trip that the movie is. It reminds you just how bad the fashion and fads from that decadent decade were. In one scene there's a "battle of the bands" going on...but just between TWO bands! One band is a Chicago wannabe (we get to hear not just one but TWO of their god awful songs!) and the other is a mix between every other hair band that existed in the eighties.Anyhows, I found this movie only to be good for a giggle. You'll only enjoy it if your previously warned of how bad it is and you are ready for it. Or if your really into this type of bad film and enjoy watching a film thats so bad, that you just have to watch it to see where films can go when handed to complete incompetents. Watching Neon Maniacs only works if you know that this is just a huge piece of cheeze thats meant to be laughed at instead of taken seriously. You've been warned! Rating: 1 out of 5

Funny line: Steven says 'I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I just met you' and Natalies' reply was 'I know you won't, that's why I like you'. Typical 80's cheese, that is why I loved this movie! Neon Maniacs has everything you needin a cheesy horror movie; teenagers, super cool bad guys, and really cheesymusic. Personally, I loved the two Rick Bowles songs in the high school dance scene, 'Baby Lied' and ' The Choice You Made'. These two songs werePERFECT 80's songs. I also loved the IDEA for the movie, but as the 80's were, the execution was flawed to the hilt. *SPOILER ALERT* One plot oversight wastoward the ending, where Steven, Natalie and Paula went to the police, telling them that the maniacs had slaughtered their classmates at the dance and theywent back under the Golden Gate Bridge where they dwell, so they go and findnothing... but at the dance, Steven and Paula killed most of them with the water hose. Also, if you were the only survivor after all of your friends were butchered, would you go swimming late at night when you knew the killers were still on the loose? Overall, I would give this movie a *** out of ****, just for originality! I would definately recommend this movie to anyone who loves horror like I do!Recently released on DVD, do yourself a favor, either rent this or buy it, you won't be sorry. Peace out and enjoy!

~Spoiler~ Neon Maniacs-where do I start? We've got an archer, a samurai, an indian, a doctor, a biker, a soldier, a hangman, an ape-man who reminded me of Lou Ferrigno's Hulk, and one guy who looks like the Toxic Avenger's ugly brother. They comprise the Neon Maniacs. The problem with the film is that we're given no backstory on the creatures. "Neon because they can only be seen in the dark; Maniacs because they kill at will." That's what the box reads. What I want to know is where in the hell did this motley crew come from? Why do they each have a spooky tarot card in their likeness? Also, If these monsters can only be destroyed by water, then why in the hell would they live inside the Golden Gate Bridge? Real geniuses, huh? Alas, these questions will never be answered. In fact, the problem we're presented with is never even resolved. The film is very open-ended and there is no sequel. I'm willing to forgive this I suppose because the writer went on to draft a screenplay for some little movie called Pumpkinhead. It also had some standout scenes including the first appearance of the maniacs in the park. Lots of gore here and good make-up. Neon Maniacs reminded me a lot of The Spookies in that in made no sense, but it was still enjoyable in all it's ridiculousness and fun to watch. "Neon Maniacs-just add water for edge-of-your-seat suspense and terror!" Note for genre buffs: Andrew Divoff is credited as the Doc and it's his first movie role.