Sahara (1984)

That was an excellent one.

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

How can a great actor like Lambert Wilson son of one of the greatest french actor accepts to participate in such a stupid and pathetic scenario and movie. Even the worst of spaghetti movies is better than this monstrosity. How did Ennio Morricone waste his time and talent to compose a score for that! Do those guys have bank accounts problems? Even my concierge would not watch such movie! There are limits not to be overshoot in the production of movies and this one has by far overtaken them showing the total lack of culture of Andrew V. McLaglen as far as knowledge of the Muslim culture, ways. It's a total lack of respect towards a great civilization whatever our feelings are for the extremists we see at work today who also betray their own civilization and faith.

This movie nestles nicely into the so-bad-its-great category of films. Its plot is 45% "The Sheik", 45% "The Great Race" and 10% "Indiana Jones". But while "The Sheik" was the product of a more naive time, "The Great Race" was a playful send-up of old movie clichés and "Indiana Jones" cheerfully celebrated those clichés, "Sahara" hasn't a brain in its head.That's not to say the movie is not enjoyable. It's a strange, anachronistic throwback.SPOILERS GALORE FROM HERE ON...Brooke Shield plays Dale, who disguises herself as a man in order to replace her late father in an auto race across the Sahara. Seeing Miss Shields in full makeup and a mustache is truly a sight to behold. However, she doffs her disguise once her car enters the desert sands. This proves to be a fairly bad idea as she is snatched up by Saharan tribesmen. (Her roadies too but who cares about THEM)John Rhys-Davies is the boorish Rasoul, who means to get romantic with Dale. What ensues is quite possibly the funniest scene in the movie. Fighting off Rasoul, Dale has to claw her way PAST a rack of rifles to get to a knife that she ineffectually slashes Rasoul with. Then, when the knife fails, she pushes past the rifles AGAIN to get a lamp with which to start a fire. Fleeing from the burning tent (sans rifle), she runs past unguarded horses and camels and ends up wandering through the desert sands on foot. Truly a genius, this one. The only way this scene could have been funnier would be to have her rush by a tank, a machine gun, a can of mace and a helicopter.Now, obviously she doesn't get far and is recaptured. Rasoul is a bit peeved at her but his nephew, the tribal chief Jaffar (Lambert Wilson), is now interested in Dale. However, Jaffar has other problems. His enemy tribesman has been armed with a car/tank by some dastardly Germans.Limping home in defeat, Jaffar pauses to claim Dale as his fiancée. Rasoul thinks she is a demon. It seems that blue eyed women are seen as bad omens and whatnot so Dale simply cannot be married to the tribe's leader.Anyway, Jaffar has a romantic interlude with Dale at a Saharan waterfall (?) where Dale is finding the concept of enslavement to him enjoyable. So clearly, being kidnapped and enslaved is only bad if the man in question is unattractive. However, the romance is dampened a bit when Dale learns of the marriage thing since it means she can't finish the race.The German/Villainous Tribesmen attack Jaffar's camp. Dale, fortunately, has carried a supply of dynamite with her for the auto race (as one does) and uses it to blow up the car/tank. Later, Dale emerges in bridal dress. The marriage is on, apparently. However, it is all part of Dale's escape plan. Not that she doesn't find Jaffar hot, it's just that she has a race to win. She leaves her sleeping lover (who has left NO sentries even though his enemies had just attacked his camp) and drives off. She also abandons her hapless roadies, who had previously been tortured by Rasoul when Dale had refused Jaffar's advances. She does, however, take along Jaffar's English valet, Cambridge.However, the strong and independent Dale is immediately snatched by the bad guy tribe. They place her in a large hamster cage (??) to await the leader.Cambridge tells the good guys what has befallen. Jaffar intends to rescue Dale but Rasoul objects, pointing out that it is a suicide mission. Jaffar decks him and rides off. Cambridge prods Rasoul into joining the rescue mission.Another day, another assault. Dale is fighting off the villainous chieftain when Jaffar and Co. attack. Dale gets thrown into a pit with a collection of panthers. It's OK, though because Jaffar is there with a rope. He throws it down but our action girl starts sniveling about how climbing the rope is just too haaaaaard. Dale sounds like she is wailing the lack of chocolate cake at a party rather than being in actual danger but Jaffar climbs down to save her.Another bit of comedy ensues. Jaffar uses up his bullets shooting the pit door open and the rifle-armed villains are on the other side of door. All the villains have to do is open fire and this movie will be over. But nooooo. They have to run in and attempt hand-to-hand combat. Jaffar neatly defeats them and then throws a torch at the poor panthers, who really just want a good meal. Anyway, Rasoul uses his dying breath to tell Jaffar not to follow Dale. Jaffar tells Dale to go. Dale, assisted by her inexplicably loyal roadies, drives for the finish line. Jaffar, meanwhile, sets about revenging his sleazy uncle.It's a race to the finish between Dale and those dastardly Germans. Three guesses as to who will win.The German's wheels fall off two inches from the finish line and Dale is declared the winner. The roadies show up, only a few minutes behind in spite of being mounted on camels. I think I would declare the camels the winners.Then Dale rides off to find Jaffar. Because running her father's auto business (which was his deathbed wish) clearly takes a backseat to marrying your kidnapper. Everyone knows THAT. And then there is nothing left to do except ride off into the sunset, which they do.Okay, so what did I think of "Sahara"? Well, it was a dreadful movie but an extremely fun one. It deserves a more prominent place in your guilty pleasure collection. If only MST3K had a go at this one...On a side note, Lambert Wilson would later take a part in a dreadful Clive Cussler adaptation. It's name? "Sahara".

OK, I am a big Brooke Shields fan (that's why I have bought a DVD of this movie), but, honestly, I can understand why she was nominated for a Razzie award for this one... But it's not only the unfortunate Brooke, (except for C. Lambert, who plays the Arabic sheik in love with Brooke's character) the acting is uniformly bad in this movie. The parts where there are attempts at "humour" are the worst parts. The parts where there are attempts at drama come a close second worst. Or maybe the parts where there are attempts at romance. Nevertheless, the movie picks up some strength towards the end. The tribal battle scene is very good and the scene where Brooke is placed in a pit with black panthers and leopards is marvelous. For a western-made movie set in the Orient, I also liked the idea that the male protagonist was a non-westerner: you don't have a heroic white guy saving the white damsel in distress. Brooke's character is not the typical weakling damsel in distress either, she is a strong character herself.

Brooke Shields is a spoiled little rich girl who decides she wants to enter a desert automobile race and since whatever Brookie wants, Brookie gets....Streaking across the sand dunes in her favourite sand-colored scarf and cute little goggles with the wind blowing sand in her beautiful brown hair, Brooke gets kidnapped by a handsome sheik with a GQ beard who whisks her away to his pad and ties her up while Brooke pretends she doesn't like it. Romantic Saharan adventure where the camels are more interesting than the actors.