Heavenly Bodies (1984)

The Worst Film Ever

I am only giving this movie a 1 for the great cast, though I can't imagine what any of them were thinking. This movie was horrible

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

I enjoyed watching this film and would recommend other to give it a try , (as I am) but this movie, although enjoyable to watch due to the better than average acting fails to add anything new to its storyline that is all too familiar to these types of movies.

Wonderfully corny Flashdance-inspired Canadian romantic exercise drama, with Cynthia Dane (of My Bloody Valentine) as an aerobics instructor and single mother who, along with her friends, struggles valiantly to open a studio called Heavenly Bodies, making it a success through talent and sheer force of will. Later landing a big part as an aerobics star on a television dance show, Dane makes a rival in Laura Henry who wanted the gig so badly she convinces a wealthy man to buy the warehouse containing the Heavenly Bodies. With the lease in jeopardy, Dane makes it her mission to see those responsible suffer. Henry is actually the ringleader behind the studio's potential demise but Dane blames her squeeze, Walter George Alton (he operates a health fitness club and is Henry's lover), also, and a challenge is issued between the two: a marathon between Heavenly Bodies and The Sporting Life (Alton's club) with the warehouse's lease up for grabs. This is so 80s as you can tell by its plot, made right in the period of the aerobics craze when the likes of Staying Alive and Perfect, as well as, the Olivia Newton John song "Let's Get Physical" and Jane Fonda's Workout were all the rage. This movie serves as a star vehicle for Dane and credit to her, the actress is plucky, spirited, and charming. The film is basically a series of aerobics dances for Dane and those behind her choreographed in synchronicity. The plot is fundamentally threadbare and derivative, using the Rocky formula regarding the little girl who rose from nothing and made something of herself through labor and sweat. The romance with the football player is emphasized; it is as cheesy as the pop soundtrack and exercise plot so popular and on the consciousness of yuppies and 80s youth of the time. The dance-off marathon, for sure, is pure corn, used to solidify Dane's lengths to see her studio flourish without the restrictions of a lease (the "injury" angle, thanks to a scuffle with Alton, is desperately contrived to produce a vulnerable Dane against a fresh Henry, but I don't think the result is in doubt). The movie's poster, showing Dane in a crouched position looking towards us, might be as derivative as its plot suggests, but I have to admit I love it. Dane, if anything, is limber and flexible.

Canadian movie producer Robert Lantos (who produced this movie) has basically proclaimed himself as a savior of Canadian film, though oddly he has made plenty of movies not set in Canada, or set in some anonymous North American location. And virtually all his mass market movies - including this one - are not set in Canada! What's the matter, Lantos, can't Canada have any fun? Actually, I am glad that this movie was set in the United States, because it's pretty awful and I'd hate foreigners knowing this movie was Canadian. There's plenty of reasons why this movie is tough to sit through - there's almost no plot, the characters are given almost no development, and the movie is one endless workout sequence after the other. If you're thinking there's plenty of sex and nudity because Playboy helped produce the movie, think again - there's almost none of that stuff. I can't see anyone finding this movie appealing, so it's no wonder this movie was out of theaters quickly despite the distributor treating it as a major release.

This extremely predictable romance tries to exploit the early-80s aerobics craze with an inane story about a plucky little aerobics studio from (literally) the wrong side of the tracks taking on the big, bad gym. Quite why an aerobics club which only seems to have about three staff and no exercise equipment whatsoever is regarded as a serious challenge by a well-equipped gym, I do not know. Attempts to put the club out of business result in an aerobics marathon, which is televised live, although several hours of non-stop aerobics hardly sounds like a ratings winner!The simplistic plot comes across like a slightly racier version of a Walt Disney story and is mainly an excuse for endless scenes of attractive women jiggling up and down in tight leotards, accompanied by awful rock songs. Cynthia Rhodes is fit and attractive but a really terrible actress, with flat dialogue delivery. Her club must be doing all right though, since she can afford to buy an apparently limitless number of leotards.

This forgettable and VERY predictable film is adequate as a time killer, but if you want to be entertained, definitely try something else. Basically, this is a standard romance with a feel-good ending, and every second scene shows people who are exercising. Now then, it is occasionally funny, and I wouldn't exactly call this a boring film, but that is about as high as my praise can get for this movie. In other words, don't waste your time on this one.