Beach Babes from Beyond (1993)

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Of course it is silly and there are some annoying performances and a minimal plot that still manages to appear superfluous but it is still likable. Everybody seems to be enjoying themselves and it looks good most of the time. The music can be annoying, about four songs repeated throughout the film, and yet they are pretty catchy. The pre-credit sequence features Mrs Stallone and there is a fine shower scene behind the credits, so things start just as you might imagine and continue. All the girls seem to wear bikinis or less all the time and the guys don't seem quite as goofy or old as they often can in these type of films. Joe Estevez is a bit annoying but Linnea Quigley, past taking her clothes off in this is very good indeed. Biggest surprise of all was during the big bikini contest as we watch the girls writhing rhythmically in close-up, the song, I kid you not seems to be entitled, 'I Got A Woody'. there is no way back from that and all quickly comes to a satisfactory end. Spirited.

I am easily pleased. I like bad films. I like films featuring attractive young women in small amounts of clothing.This film gives all the above a bad name. Yes, you know going in that what you're getting is not high art, or anything like. But, even for the type of movie it is, Beach Babes From Beyond isn't very good.Some people have given it 10. I can only assume that these are people who have had the organs which enable rational thought to take place surgically removed.It isn't very good. It simply isn't very good.3 out of 10 solely on the grounds of a) novelty value for the famous relatives and Burt Ward and b) some of the girls are cute.Oh, by the way, did I tell you that it isn't very good?

Do you get it? Like the car. These are the jokes, folks. Softcore Beach Blanket Bingo with aliens answers many of life's important question. What do the relatives of celebrities do for some cash? How does a hot tan alien wash herself? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, maybe not that one. Linnea Quigley, member of the Softcore hall of fame, provides some comic relief. Nikki Fritz, also a member, show her talents. Sarah Bellomo is not as bad as you might expect from a porn star. This is not erotic, except the shower scene, and not funny enough to make up for the rotten plot. The sequel has a couple of pleasant scenes as well with Miss Bellomo.P.S. The title is a good example of alliteration.

Take the old hokey beach movies from the first golden era (the next is the 80's) and put the girls in some hot 80's fashions (thongs), throw in some very tame soft-core sex, and play even worse music and you have an hour and a half of great mindless fun! The leg and ass lovers of the world would want to have this in their permanent collection! (Breast men won't be disappointed either). If someone would just do a decent job of this in hard core, I would be in heaven.If you want oscar level performances in your movies, your brain will have a meltdown if you even attempt to watch this movie.