River of Darkness (2011)

Too much of everything

Purely Joyful Movie!

Crappy film

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

One of the worst scripts ever. This film was written, directed and produced by Bruce Koehler. I firmly believe he did it all himself because no one else was stupid enough to think that the abysmal script would work as anything other than toilet paper.The acting was so wooden that the rest of the cast made Angle and co look like the spirits of Olivier. Don't get me wrong, they were by no means good. But the film started poor and just got steadily worse. The cinematography would have been substandard for views of Home and Away. Even low budget B-Movies should have standards. One last thing. Don't get me started on the 'special effects'. I have seen more convincing at Halloween parties.In all this was amateur hour at its very worst.

oh..come on! seriously??? worst film ever... oh my god...i just cannot believe it! everything about the movie was terrible. At one point, I actually thought that it was a horror/comedy. But turns out that it's not. you've gotta be kidding me to actually call this a movie and release it. seriously. I would not even want to get paid to watch this movie another time. horrendous.Didn't the maker of this movie even watch this once, before he actually went on to release it? oh my god...seriously, this has got to be a joke or something.

before me, there where 5 users who voted this an average of 7.5/10?!? What is the world coming to if anybody actually thought that this movie was watching? Were the crew voting for themselves perhaps? this movie was such a waste of time and in the end I couldn't even make it to the finish before turning it off. Kurt Angle obviously has serious skill as a wrestler but as an actor he is seriously lacking. unfortunately, he was not even the worse thing about this *cough* "film" *cough* the script/dialog is just pitiful. There is one line from an actor where she says that the bad guys eyes were RED, yet when they show close-ups of Kevin Nash's character his eyes are yellow/orange... the story, pathetic. The casting is a joke - i've seen better acting with more personality from a 1st grade school play. Kurt Angle as the lead was stiffer then a plank of wood yet when he is doing his wrestling promos, he comes across with so much passion and personality. Then the 'special effects' / makeup department... oh my god... in todays age this should just not be allowed. Anybody involved in this abysmal attempt at cinema should be embarrassed enough to crawl under a rock and never come out again. I cannot remember attempting to watch any other film which was this bad, especially considering this site shows they had a budget of $3.26 million, where you look at a movie like Paranormal Activity made in 2007 for an estimated $15K that turned out to be a fantastic movie. Please I implore anybody, do not waste time on this garbage

Will Logan, a sheriff protecting his town from the resurrected Jacobs brothers (Nash, Sid and Bill Laing), siblings who were lynched long ago and are back to seek revenge from beyond the grave. When unspeakable evil falls on a quiet river town, Sheriff Logan (Kurt Angle) is thrust into a chilling nightmare of death and mayhem. He is confronted with a series of horrific murders, each more viscous than the last, and soon learns of the community's seedy past and the evil that has risen from purgatory to exact revenge on the town. When Sheriff Logan discovers that the murders are committed by the spirits of old river squatters, the Jacobs Boys, the town explodes into an battlefield of blazing guns and zombies.