Quiet Fire (1991)

Thanks for the memories!

Overrated

Must See Movie...

Tells a fascinating and unsettling true story, and does so well, without pretending to have all the answers.

One unusual moment in the history of movie company PM Entertainment was during the 1989-1991 period when they hired Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs to star in six movies. Did PM really think that LHJ was a marketable star? Or was he the biggest star they could afford at the time. I suspect the latter. Anyway, one interesting thing about this particular PM/LHJ movie is that LHJ not only starred in the movie, he also directed and is credited with additional dialogue. It's pretty easy to see why he didn't have much of a directing career apart from this movie. In fairness, he was working with a real low budget, which explains things like a general cheap look to the movie. There isn't that much action in the movie, and what there is is constructed in a way to be lame and unexciting. But the worst thing about the movie is the script. The plot and its various twists will seem very familiar to most viewers. About the only original element in the movie is the portrayal of the two assassins who come near the end of the movie. While the movie is occasionally lame enough to generate unintentional chuckles (such as with LHJ's lame martial arts skills), for the most part the movie is a tired bore.

Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, heretofore known as "Washington" on the TV show Welcome Back Kotter, at some point in the late eighties/early nineties hooked up with PM Entertainment to reinvent himself as an action guy. His stamp is all over Quietfire at least, with all sorts of nebulous credits - everything from "additional dialogue" to "additional music". He also stars in the film as the Vietnam vet Jesse Palmer.All Jesse wants to do is live his life in peace and work at Gold's Gym protecting women working out from come-ons by mulleted meatheads - and represent Gold's Gym on his clothing at all times. Not to mention showing off to the local strippers his ability in killing bugs for them. But trouble arrives in the form of J. William Whelan (Lindsay), an evil, corrupt man running for U.S. Senate. How topical. He has everyone living in fear of him, and even has two cops on the take, Russo (Z'Dar) and Overstreet (Jastereo Coviare, who also did the end credits song). It seems Whelan is involved in various arms deals with enemy nations. When Jesse's 'Nam buddy Walt is killed, Jesse connects the dots right to the nefarious Whelan. Add to that Whelan was Jesse's Commanding Officer back in the old days. And since Jesse was on a team of elite ops that never failed in their missions, Whelan knows what Jesse is capable of. So now Jesse and his girlfriend Jana (Nadia Marie) are on the run, and Jesse has to elude and/or fight wave after wave of bad guys.Apparently this incriminating information about Whelan is on a computer disk which Jesse must find and protect. But along his travels of running from the baddies, he meets a lot of colorful characters, such as Walt's friend Kim (Black). She's a hippie that runs one of those hippie stores. Why this minor role needed to be filled by an actress of Karen Black's caliber remains unknown. So as Jesse says, it's like he's "back in 'Nam all over again!" Will he be able to fight all of his assailants and get justice? Quietfire is nothing but silly - very silly - fun. You can't take it seriously at all. From the first seconds of the film (or video?) it looks like that old commercial for the Viper car alarm system. LHJ (as he, and his production company are known) lives in a purple apartment and when bad guys invade it, he must unleash the awesome power of LHJ-Fu on them. The movie is like a 90 minute commercial for Gold's Gym. There are numerous scenes in the interior and exterior of said gym, and LHJ wears their gear for 95% of the film, except at the end when he changes into his all-black "I'm gonna really get revenge" outfit. That's also when he finally breaks into his secret stash of throwing stars. But what LHJ really brings to the table are his bulging eyes, which do most of the acting. But them together with Z'Dar's famous chin (here mostly hidden by a beard), we have some seriously exaggerated body parts on display.A news program interrupts something playing on the radio to announce that Whelan's opponent has called him "a wimp". Definitely newsworthy. But in true PM fashion, we get, for no reason really, to see "action Senator (-ial candidate)" when Whelan gets to try out one of the missile launchers himself. And getting back to the phalanx of incidental characters, besides Karen Black's, we also have the beyond-sassy motel manager, as well as Clyde, Walt's brother, who wants nothing more than to offer LHJ a nice "Sparkling Fruitwater", Whelan's assistant who looks exactly like Harry Potter, and lest we forget the legendary Todd McMasters, a bespectacled little nerd who gets mercilessly mocked, behind his back, of course, by everyone throughout the rest of the movie! We would also be remiss if we forgot to mention Hector and Jax - two transvestite and/or transsexual assassins hired by Whelan to finally off Jesse. In this truly weird and unexplained turn of events, it recalls the grand tradition of "great last minute characters" we've seen added to the last act of movies in the past...Bear, The Cowboy, The Dead Man, Machine Gun Joe, etc. They really add a lot.Sure, the title makes no sense whatsoever (why is it all one word?), the tagline is really stupid ("When you kill a man...make sure he's dead!!), and certain aspects, especially some of the acting of course, are amateurish, but so what? Quietfire is a ton of fun. It's a hilarious movie, so crack open a few beers, make some snacks and let Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs entertain YOU! For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

"Quiet Fire" has very little going for it except unintended laughs. And there are quiet a few of them. Bad, bad acting, terrible writing and direction. This film has the look of a cheap TV movie. Karen Black (as usual) rises above the rest and actually gives a performance with at least some sort of characterization. It was actually kind of startling when she first appeared on screen because I had been sort of dulled into this state of catatonia by the amateurish acting of the rest of the cast...The evil, crooked Senate hopeful referred to in the previous comment as a "Ted Turner look-a-like" use the term "kapeesh" a lot - and is referred to as sexy, with "great hair". Judge for yourself. Hmmm....

Jesse Palmer (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs) was one of the best men ever to serve the military during the Vietnam War. He was one soldier who always straightened out his priorities. In every mission he must accomplish, he will always return a hero, or else...he would not have returned at all... Nearly twenty years later, Palmer is out to prove his worth again...Palmer knows a secret that is a bit esoteric. What he knows could very well have an impact on the reputation of a well-known politician. What he also knows could essentially endanger the lives of his friends and family. What he knows could put his own life on the line. This politician refuses to let Palmer tarnish his own image...so he decides to mark this loose cannon for death!Palmer, a Vietnam Veteran must discomfit his ex-commanding officer turned crooked senate candidate named Whalen (Lance Lindsay, a Ted Turner look-alike) from conspiring to turn over part of the U.S. Government to terrorists. Whalen has all the help that he can afford. Mercenaries, assassins, a surveillance tracking system, endless firepower, and hired killers are at this corrupt senator's disposal. Oh yes, and who could forget those two muscular ladies, dressed to kill... Palmer, on the other hand, only has his wits, fists and a few other surprises to help put an end to a greedy politician's guileful schemes. This one innocent man must expose this corrupt senator before he wins the election...Meanwhile, two dirty cops named Russo (Robert Z'Dar) and Overstreet (Jastereo Coviare) happen to work on the wrong side of the law. They have been hired by Whalen to personally annihilate Palmer himself. Not only is Palmer running from the law, but his girlfriend Jana (Nadia Marie) is inadvertently caught in this whole elaborate chase too. What these two fugitives eventually unveil though is a revelation. The "Quiet Fire" conspiracy is a devious project involving the use of high-tech weaponry for the benefit of America's prime adversaries. American may no longer be of use once their own technology on enemy soil is turned against this country...They're running out of time!QUIET FIRE is definitely a low-budget and obscure action flick. There is little, if any substance in this interesting but somewhat hackneyed political action thriller. The plot is OK, but it illustrates miniscule novelty. The performances were adequate, but Karen Black was absolutely astounding in a completely off-the-wall performance. As an eccentric storekeeper, Kim (Black) manages to weasel in a few tried moments of humor in an otherwise straightforward action flick. Robert Z'Dar (MANIAC COP) tries to keep it real, but I could not help laugh at his sometimes histrionic performance as a deceitful cop. Maybe it is my perception, but that insidious senator looks so much like Ted Turner. Perhaps it is a mere coincidence...or could this case of double vision lead to a deeper machination? Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs (from the hit TV sitcom "Welcome Back, Kotter") keeps his cool here also. Hilton-Jacobs is casually talented behind as well as in front of the camera.Though the film moves at a plodding pace, this is a reasonably fun motion picture. The action scenes are smooth and well made with well-executed car chases, gun battles, and martial arts fighting. QUIET FIRE contains stronger quality production values than the usual B-movie.It's trite, it's generic, but it has a well-structured formula. This film works as a routine shoot 'em up action film. QUIET FIRE is pleasing but an often simplistic and plain diversion. This movie is not great by any means, but passable. QUIET FIRE is worth an overnight rental...assuming you have seen about every other action film ever made.RATING: ** out of ****.