Martial Angels (2001)

Thanks for the memories!

Don't listen to the Hype. It's awful

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

My guess is that the Hollywood big screen adaptation of CHARLIE'S ANGELS did very well in Hong Kong, because a whole slew of local rip-offs followed in its wake. I previously watched SO CLOSE, also starring Shu Qi, which was much better than this nonsensical and incoherent effort from Clarence Fok. The story features a whole gaggle of young beauties (all the actors are young here, and most are women) who get involved in some confusing plot regarding some antivirus software which the bad guys are trying to steal. Expect cheesy romantic sub-plots, some really bad direction in the action sequences (so bad that you can't even make out what's happening) and a general lack of cohesion throughout. Shu Qi gives a solid performance, but the rest of the starlets are unremarkable and the story drags on and on, never even coming close to achieving even a basic kind of quality.

The movie was alright overall- the movie itself was a bit of a cliché, but if acting and effects were enhanced it would have been better. Amanda Strang's performance probably stood out the most, compared to the other typical 'angels'. The special effects were particularly bad and the ending was rather abrupt. It was a bit hard to remember all the chicks at first but the second time around I recognised all of them by their weird animal nicknames. Some of the lines were a bit cheesy and predictable, and the sudden chain of deaths really put me off. Also, I felt that some bits of the movie were a bit graphic and disturbing, but I guess for a good cause. I think it's safe to say that most people would think this movie is a load of crap, but if all these flaws were fixed then maybe the movie would score a bit higher.

With such an amazingly wonderfully attractive cast, any six year-old kid could think up some silly plot and still allow for a fairly pleasurable viewing experience. So, the only explanation for MARTIAL ANGELS is that the writer intentionally wanted to create an unwatchable movie. Indeed, this is what we have here -- an unwatchable movie. It is really too bad because the first part of the movie has style, the music is fun, and the actresses are worthy of worship. The writing in MARTIAL ANGELS stinks rotten eggs. Any Hong Kong movie producers wanting better writing, hey, contact me. MARTIAL ANGLES is proof that you movie producers could do worse than me.

Reasons to avoid this film: bad script, bad action, bad effects, low budget, and just generally stupid. Reasons to see this film: Shu Qi, Kelly Lam Hei-Lui, Teresa Mak Ga Kei, Sophie Ngan Wing Sze, Sandra Ng Kwun-Yu, Rosemary, and Amanda Strang. This is basically Charlie's Angels meets Mission Impossible 2 on a shoestring budget (but they can afford to blow a few small things up and rent a helicoptor). Perhaps good for a rental or if you're obsessed with Shu Qi (in which case you would do better renting "Sex and Zen 2" or "Shu Qi - Body Show".