Hot Rods to Hell (1967)

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

This is a tender, generous movie that likes its characters and presents them as real people, full of flaws and strengths.

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

Dana Andrews and Jeanne Crain play Tom and Peg Phillips, an ultra straight (some might say square) couple with a teen aged daughter, Tina (Laurie Mock), and young son Jamie (Jeffrey Byron). After Tom gets into a road accident, he develops a bad back, and his brother Bill (Harry Hickox) arranges for Tom a change of pace: running a motel in small town California. Unfortunately, when the family gets to the desert, they run afoul of the local hot rodders / troublemakers.Just as much of a generation gap drama as it is an action movie,"Hot Rods to Hell" is enjoyable exploitation fare. The protagonists are a little much at times, but Gene Kirkwood and Paul Bertoya are malevolently entertaining as the obnoxious road hogging punks. The movie marks an interesting effort for Director John Brahm, who'd done well crafting Victorian era melodramas in the 1940s and 1950s; it was his final feature film. The action sequences ARE well done, and the cars are of course very cool. The rock score is most groovy, as performed by Mickey Rooney's son and his combo.The performances are all watchable. It's easy to believe the frustration of Andrews' character. Mimsy Farmer is likewise convincing as Gloria, the trampy, sexy blonde associate of Kirkwood and Bertoya. George Ives has the interesting role of Lank Dailey, the motel owner who has no problem taking money from his teenage customers but distrusts them just as much as any other adult.In general, the movie seems to be making a statement about the poor driving habits of Americans: it isn't just the young punks who drive recklessly, but the previous generation as well.It would be hard to knock any movie in which a highway patrolman is made to utter the immortal line: "These kids have nowhere to go,but they want to get there at 150 miles per hour."Seven out of 10.

I believe I will go along with the conventional wisdom shared by many of the other reviewers here. The actors here were saddled with plenty of bad assumptions and corny techniques employed by the screenwriter, the director, and the producer, Sam Katzman the king of cinema Cheese. They do the best they can, but ultimately they are doomed, unwilling participants trapped in a corny melodrama with the form of a 1950's juvenile delinquent movie.The release date on this film says 1966, but the whole ethos feels more like 1956, or maybe even 1946. Just change Dana Andrews from injured businessman to injured World War II veteran, and there you go. I'm not even sure when this screenplay was actually written. Maybe it was sitting on somebody's shelf for 10 or 20 years.The most annoying gaffe to my mind is the appearance and affect of the so-called "delinquents" who "terrorize" uber-square Dana Andrews and his family, a bunch of non-realistic cardboard cutouts straight out of a 1950's television sitcom like "Leave it To Beaver" or "Father Knows Best." These well-scrubbed Hollywood actors, with clean well-pressed chinos and button-down shirts, and shiny straight white teeth, are supposed to be threatening? Give me a break! These kids are about as threatening as a Nerf ball. Hard to believe that the very same year, Roger Corman released "The Wild Angels," showing off a REAL group of reprobates who terrorize the innocent straights on the road. Now those bikers, THOSE were a bunch of creepy, unshaven low lifes. These kids are just a little bored. And who wouldn't be, stuck in some crappy desert town in the middle of Nowheresville, California.To say the acting is overwrought is like saying BP made a little oopsie in the Gulf of Mexico. And then, the doofus elderly cop comes into the movie a few times for a little Joe Friday style moralizing. I'm with the idiot in the hat, who later killed himself after crashing his car: that cop was an asshat."Thank you, Daddy, for not telling that cop about...what happened." Huh? What DID happen? Nothing! You made out with one of the hot rod dudes, and did a little snogging against the side of the Corvette? Holy cats, did I miss something? That was enough to drive you folks out of town? This movie is really terrible for a major studio release. An overdone melodrama with a little hot rodding thrown in, and some bad discotheque blues-rock by Mickey Rooney Jr.! (No Gary Lewis he, his "combo" certainly never tore up the charts, but I did enjoy his lyric, something like "Baby don't mess up my hair!") In the end, I can only recommend this movie for the snogalicious charms of Miss Mimsy Farmer. Rowrrr. Such an adorable kitten, overbite and all. Love those giant hair-dos that were all the rage in that era (the era of my birth!) And as many others have commented, Jeanne Crain was also holding it together pretty dang well at age 42, rocking a tasteful blouse and tight skirt. But, overall, these reasons to watch the movie are few and far between, so, I would recommend this film only to the most masochistic of drive-in movie buffs. Fair warning.

Such an idiotic movie. You can tell after just the first five minutes that it was destined as the second feature in the drive-in theater, to be appreciated only by patrons whose absolute last purpose for being there was to actually watch a movie. How a serious actor like Dana Andrews ever allowed himself to be part of this garbage is beyond me. I suppose the "So bad it's good" saying can apply here, although one usually reserves that characterization for science fiction and horror movies. Nevertheless, a lot of scenes and lines are so moronic, they will make you burst out laughing. For instance, in one scene, the terrorized family is being chased down a highway when they suddenly see a sign for a restaurant. Instantly, their terror turns to joy and relief. "People will be there!" they say, never bothering to think what exactly the restaurant's patrons would do for them in such a situation. But soon, their joy turns into disappointment when they find the restaurant to be out of business and long abandoned! But alas, the father (Dana Andrews) sees a glimmer of hope: a rusted- out public phone sign! "There may be a phone inside!" he yells to his wife, and desperately, he proceeds to break down the boarded up doorway, assuming, as I'm sure anyone would, that the phone company routinely maintains and collects money from phones left inside boarded-up, abandoned buildings. One of the stupidest scenes I've ever seen in any film at any time. The moralizing Dragnet-style cop was also worth a few laughs, as well as the drunk to whom he gives both a ticket and a little lecture. And what the heck is it with that strange Tyrolian-like hat that one kid was wearing? Really weird film.

Hot Rods to Hell (1967) ** 1/2 (out of 4) John Brahm (The Undying Monster, The Lodger) directs this outrageous film that tries to be hip but comes off as realistic as Reefer Madness. An old man (Dana Andrews) takes his wife and two children from Boston to Arizona so that they can open a motel but along the way they run into hot rod's with a gang who is constantly terrorizing them. Warner recently released this as part of their "Camp Classics" line and camp isn't strong enough of a word to fit this film. Everything in this movie is so over blown that you can't help but laugh your ass off from one scene to another. The performances are among the worst I've ever seen and you have to wonder what the hell Andrews was doing in a film like this. He comes off so-so but Jeanne Crain as his wife delivers quite possibly the worst performance I've ever seen by someone who has talent. From her fake tears to her trying to be scared, every single second of her performance brings laughter. The supporting cast isn't any better but Mimsy Farmer steals the show as one of the hot rods who gets horny with speed. Some might remember her later Italian horror films including Lucio Fulci's The Black Cat. This is certainly a film that's so bad it's good so cult movie fans should eat it up. Others beware. Oh yeah, Mickey Rooney, Jr. does the soundtrack.