Captain Battle: Legacy War (2013)

That was an excellent one.

I wanted to but couldn't!

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

True to its essence, the characters remain on the same line and manage to entertain the viewer, each highlighting their own distinctive qualities or touches.

Honestly, I didn't really watch this movie, since I just happened to stumble across it on IMDb while on my quest to find bad movies. I haven't even read the other reviews yet either, but I'm pretty sure they're stellar as well. They say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover but whoever said that forgot to mention movies, especially crappy mock-busters like this one, which are ripe for the picking. In this case, the cover pretty much does all the talking for whatever the hell this is supposed to be. Though I may not be an expert on the matter, I have a revolutionary inkling that Captain Battle is trying to rip off Captain America while simultaneously looking sinister enough to be disguised as a porno. Incredible, I know. Detective Svend is on the case again, people! I'm high as **** & you know what that means! Sh!tty movie time! OK well this reviews pretty much over. I think I've said all that needs to be said. In all actuality I'm hoping that it's going to be so laughable that it's enjoyable, versus being just boringly bad or boringly mediocre.

Captain Battle: Legacy War is one of those movies where you shouldn't expect all that much from in the first place, but watching this gave me the impression that other than using every cliché in the book with some blatant ripping off that everyone involved in this movie weren't even trying.The best thing about the movie is the scene in the strip club which was amusing in a mild sense, it still didn't stop the scene from feeling irrelevant to what there is of the story. Which unfortunately is not very much at all complete with sluggish pacing, a lot of unimaginatively staged and poorly filmed action, very little happening with lots of irrelevant padding and a very "that's it?" ending. Captain Battle: Legacy War looks bad, with drab photography, very limited sets(back-lots and alleyways, even in scenes that needed something more than that), ridiculous-looking make-up(especially the red stuff put on the main villain's face), very rudimentary-level special effects and even the cheapest looking fancy-dress costumes look better than the costumes in this movie.Unfortunately that's not even it for the flaws. There's also an awful script, students talking about embarrassing situations in school/university corridors are much less painful than listening to this horrendously cheesy and improvisatory-sounding dialogue. The movie's also ineptly directed and of the characters the heroes are bland clichés and the villains(especially the Nazi General) are even more clichéd and like very vulgarly broad foreign stereotypes that border on causing offence. As for the acting that is just as terrible, with a lead performance so wooden that wooden planks seemingly have more personality, Marlene Mc'Cohen and Jenny Allford's attractive looks are not enough to compensate for their very bland acting and the Nazi General is so overacted it's like he belongs in a completely different movie.All in all, I have seen worse but even that is not enough to stop Captain Battle: Legacy War from being so shamelessly incompetent. 1/10 Bethany Cox

After watching this Movie 5 times in a weekend (my buddy & I told friends it was the best movie ever made, a must see) I am still undecided as to the actual agenda of this movie. Is it......Option 1: Its a tribute to every bad movie ever made using every bad camera shot, bad effects, really bad editing & some seriously depressing acting (if this is the case then its Genius) Option 2: Its simply the worst movie ever made period (if this is the case then someone needs shooting or stopped from having any offspring for the sake of Humanity in general) As for the storyline......well its a Captain America rip off almost from start to end.It was funny the first time I watched it & the fun aspect shrunk with every viewing to the point where suicide was a viable option. Its fairly obvious that they blew the entire budget on the Car & the Chicks with nothing left for the effects or editing. I am lost for words as to how I express my level of pity towards this movie.

Nazis, strippers, actors who look like they should be in porn, bargain basement special effects, dodgy costumes and really silly music= Captain BattleSam Battle has a had a bit of a hard time in Iraq, he has a horrible injury and his good pal Dr Storm injects him with BS serum. He falls into a coma and goes home to the US of A where he recovers miraculously. Next he learns that Nazis are taking over his town and the shenanigans begin in earnest. Evil skinheads run amok under the command of their buxom MILF commander who minces around in fetish gear barking orders with a voice only slightly less annoying than Kim Kardashian's. Some sort of plot is attempted next! Nazi MILF wants to get her monkey paws on the BS serum and abducts Dr Storm (dun dun DUUUN!) Sam Battle now must discover his family legacy and save the day. I like to think that this movie has some redeeming features, because I spent a couple of hours of my life on it so I will try to be as merciful as I can. It is fairly funny, if you are in the right sort of mood for watching something with production values which are completely dire. The script is awful, the acting is awful and that can have it's own charm if you happen to be off your face or something. Let's face it nobody wants to watch Schindler's List when they are inebriated, with that in mind it could be a great movie to watch after crawling home from the pub or if you happen to be a stoner. I gave it 3 out of 10 because it could be funny under the right circumstances and there was at least an attempt at a story. Watch it sober at your own risk though, you have been warned.