Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker! (2001)

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

Candy loving horror geek Mulva (Missy Donatuti) and her almost-as-dorky pal Cassie (Calley Thidemann) go trick or treating, but find themselves face-to-face with a horde of ravenous zombies.I only have myself to blame: having already suffered through all three of writer/director Chris Seaver's dreadful Filthy MacNasty films, I still came back for more, this time tackling one of his earliest efforts, Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker. I already knew that the sexy gun-toting woman on the cover wasn't the titular Zombie Ass Kicker, and yet I was surprised at just how unappealing the lead character was, a fugly, chocolate addicted nerd with the most irritating voice imaginable. But that's not the worst of it…Abysmal performances, childish humour, crap dialogue, a horrible Benny Hill-inspired comedy scene, pathetic special effects, a terrible cameo from Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman (whose worst output is still better than this), and really cheap production values (those nasty scene transitions!! Ugh!) all go to make this a complete waste of time—zero budget, home-made tongue-in-cheek horror nonsense of the lowest kind imaginable.

MULVA: ZOMBIE ASS KICKER! is one of the earlier trash movies made by Chris Seaver on zero budget. I never thought I'd see a director who makes Troma's output look decent by comparison but Seaver is indeed that guy. This is a ridiculous story about a woman who fights zombies, but it's just an endless parade of guys making jokes to the camera and trying so desperately to be funny when they really aren't. There's no horror content, just stupid fright wigs and nonsense. The best part is Lloyd Kaufman's cameo in which he brings the Toxic Avenger and Sergeant Kabukiman along for the ride.

I was roped into this travesty because... 1) I enjoy zombie films 2) I usually enjoy both Debbie Rochon and Trent Haaga and 3) For some reason I still think there's hope out there for Full Moon, who have lost most of my respect over the years with a succession of incredibly bad releases.This is easily the most appalling release from Full Moon yet. Words cannot express how lousy (and irritating) this load of excrement is. Frankly, it's insulting that it received ANY kind of release and that anyone has to be tricked into suffering through someone else's home movie. I could even forgive the nonexistent budget, amateurism and awful make-up if there was something else of merit going on here (no such luck!). What I cannot forgive is the completely unfunny 'script' (granted it had one), the migraine-inducing overacting and the pitiful name dropping at each and every turn (I could list fifty other major annoyances, but I won't...) Chris Seaver has absolutely no discernible talent, but HE obviously disagrees with me. Listen to the commentary track and you'll hear the rantings of one of the most misguided, idiotic and delusional people on the planet. He seems to fancy himself as such an original talent. So Chris, I'm glad you find yourself to be so very witty and talented. I found you to be a smug, annoying, juvenile and irrelevant moron whose only possible fan base would have to consist of not-so-bright 10 year olds or someone borderline retarded.But anyway, since you seem to be such a big fan of yourself and your own work, maybe YOU should keep your crappy movies to yourself, eh? 1/10 (If there was a zero, this 'film' would get it)

Here's a shlock/horror double-feature that's both raw and steaming. Featuring gags o' plenty--they pile it on and never stop to flush. If you're looking for less spit and more polish, pull out Creepshow or stick to mainstream action flicks--Blayde etc...Mulva: delivers the goods.Of course every such film has detractors, but let's put this in its proper context. This is a triple-B flick. It carves itself out of a squalid genre, and those who hate it for being as such are silly.In appreciation of this effort, behold unbelievable whining from the clueless: those who didn't know what to expect when they rented a movie called "Mulva: Zombie Ass-kicker"......Ugh, the lead actress was gross!...Ooh, the acting was unprofessional....Bah, the budget was low...Ummm, duhh! Were you expecting anything less than a craptastigorifsycal cinema-shltfest?Now, realize that these sentiments that complainoids and their ilk make are the reasons this movie isn't a waste of time. And maybe, just maybe (deep down) you'll like it.So if you want to take a stab at every little sacred cliché, rent it "again for the first time," snoogins!