Rocky's Love Affairs (1985)

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

I didn’t really have many expectations going into the movie (good or bad), but I actually really enjoyed it. I really liked the characters and the banter between them.

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

CITY NINJA is a very poor addition to the ninja film cycle that has very little to do with ninjas at all, apart from exactly two tacked-on fight scenes featuring our black-clad friends (and a pretty cool red ninja at one point). These fights are shot in a wood somewhere and are quite amusing, featuring flying ninjas and the usual disappearing acts, but they have nothing to do with the central thrust of the story.This film is a Hong Kong/South Korean co-production that has two distinctive plots, each featuring a different hero. Chan Wai-Man is the jet-setting hero tasked with retrieving a missing necklace, while Casanova Wong battles the usual criminal thugs all the while. Wai-Man's scenes seem to have been filmed in Hong Kong and Wong's in South Korea, leading to much choppiness and poor editing between the two story lines. In other words, you feel like you're watching a typical Godfrey Ho movie.The action itself is quite plentiful, but poorly staged and uninteresting. A few familiar faces like Phillip Ko and John Ladalski are wasted in just a few seconds of appearance and the bad guys are all defeated too easily. Surprisingly, the director's real intent is to show as much sex and nudity as possible in his film. Wai-Man has a strenuous encounter with a girlfriend in a gym of all places while there are random shower, bath, bedroom, and nude scenes throughout. It all feels very gratuitous and more silly than grubby.

This is a racy (in more ways than one) and somewhat entertaining martial arts film that contains decent to good action and an unusually large fill of nudity.The plot is centered around one wealthy boss-man, David Lo, who is trying desperately to retrieve two halves of a precious necklace formerly belonging to his father before Red Head (who's villainous persona is just as lacking as the amount of thought that went into the creation of his name) and his thugs get the two pieces, and ultimately, the Swiss bank account number engraved into them, for themselves. Wan Lee, a boxing champion and some guy played by Casanova Wong are approached and used by each side over the course of this struggle and end up duking it out in the end. It's really not quite clear who the real good guy is but I personally didn't find this to be a problem. The ending was kind of odd and not as conclusive as it could've and should've been.Wong delivers some fancy whirling maneuvers but overall the fight choreography is just passable. The action does become a bit more exciting at the end however.There is plenty of silliness to be found in the excessive slow-motion climaxes that conclude some of the fight/death scenes, and naturally, in the dubbing, which contains great lines like "Hey! You haven't seen nothing yet! Now you're gonna see something!"And speaking of "seeing something," there are many things to see in this movie; things of the womanly, soft, and supple variety. That is to say, that this is one "ninja" movie that is replete with T&A. It manages to not only titillate at times but also to add to the comedic value of the film, with the first sex scene in particular providing more "haha"s than "ooh"s and "ah"s.One last thing I'd like to point out is just how unaptly titled this movie is. There are no more than two fight scenes involving ninjas and neither are anything special. As if that's not enough, these ninja fight scenes take place out in the country side, not in the city. Furthermore, our two . . . martially skilled protagonists do not employ any ninpo techniques at all, but I digress.All things considered, if you dig poorly made kung-fu/ninja films, for the fights and their overall intrinsic goofiness, then this one's bound to entertain you for 80-90 minutes.

I saw this under the title "City Ninja", which makes even less sense than the title "Ninja Holocaust". Yes, there are a few ninja in this movie, but they aren't in the city, they are out in the country, where all good one-with-nature ninja types dwell. The other title, "108 Golden Killers" or some such, actually sort of applies here. The hero seems to fight at least 108 different opponents throughout the course of the movie. But really, who cares? This is a hyperactive, gonzo mess. It took a full 90 minutes to get through it. At the end of that 90 minutes, I was no wiser than before as to what the heck was supposed to be going on, or as to the moral or point of the movie. The plot, as far as I can tell, is this: A necklace is bobbing around SE Asia (maybe Hong Kong, maybe rural Korea), and it has the number of a Swiss bank account written on it. Some underworld types want to get it, and they hire "Jimmy", a boxer/kung-fu expert, to procure it for them. So the necklace is a MacGuffin, a plot device to set in motion a nice "quest" movie, as well as a good excuse for an array of fight scenes. This doesn't satisfy the director, though. He decided to throw in a seven-layer-salad of plot complications, detours and general irrelevancies including a weird, clumsy love triangle between Jimmy, the gang boss' mistress and a singer that involves a lot of soft-core porn (including a sex scene on a rowing machine -I hope he wiped it down after wards);dozens of odd characters (including "the bald headed gang") who pop into the movie at random and then disappear, never to be seen again; and fights that start up at the drop of a hat. BTW Jimmy seems to vary in skill from "unstoppable Bruce Lee android clone" in some scenes to "unable to kung-fu his way out of a wet paper bag" in others. Seeing him almost get his clock cleaned in a boxing ring in one scene only to wade through an entire camp of armed ninja 20 minutes later is very confusing. And no, this isn't the kind of story where the character grows in skill as a result of his challenges; "Jimmy" simply continues to punch and kick people with varying degrees of success as the movie progresses. Although "progress" may be the wrong word.More? The fight scene in the credits (between a Caucasian guy in a gi and black belt and 4-8 ninjas) seems to be imported from another movie entirely. The big final fight scene between Jimmy and an anonymous bruiser as he tries to rescue his girlfriend, seems to end with Jimmy getting his face kicked in, but the movie shows him walking around with his rescued girlfriend none the worse for wear just a minute later. More? Jimmy can fight and kill 8 men at a time, but he can't wrestle a pistol away from his angry mistress and she accidentally shoots herself in the struggle. (She was holding a gun on him because he was about to leave here for the singer, and she was pregnant and upset about being abandoned. So Jimmy is a cad, along with everything else). Various tough underworld types seem to compete for the necklace, but I am blamed if I can keep them straight, or tell why we have to watch one of them shagging his mistress and why another one wears kabuki makeup.More? The bad guys find Jimmy's girlfriend (the singer) and kidnap her (how they find her is never revealed, they just do) and then they put her on a table and...um...spin it. I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a form of torture or an odd sort of fetish foreplay before the actual (inevitable) rape attempt. (Of course there is a rape attempt. It's that sort of movie).Even more? Jimmy is lazing about on the gangleader yacht with the mistress for an afternoon of sun and sex when the yacht is boarded by another bunch of the gang (I think), including guys in frog man suits with spear guns...and Jimmy jumps overboard (leaving his pregnant mistress to fend for herself). Then Jimmy's brother, who is seemingly psychic, chooses that moment to come to the rescue in a speed boat (!!) Did I mention that Jimmy has a brother? He has a brother, who is apparently the comic relief in the movie. Anyway, the bad guys chase Jimmy and brother in their own boat, and the chief bad guy keeps telling the guy at the throttle to "go faster!". You know, because apparently all the boat driver wanted to do was to not lose ground too slowly. But Jimmy's boat is too fast, or there are too many guys on the bad guy's boat, and our heroes happily flee, again, leaving (as I said) the woman to deal with things as best she can. Oh, and at the end of the film the chief surviving gang boss has been arrested (for no reason we can see) and finks on Jimmy so that Jimmy is arrested (for the murder of the gang wife's boss he accidentally shot, not for the 90-100 other people he killed with his bare hands in the course of the movie) and the movie just stops. I'd like to give 'City Ninja" the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure that in its original version it was a much better film here than the weird mongoloid spazz-fest that emerged as the version I saw on the Treeline 50 movie DVD pack collection. Stupid, but fun. 3 starts out of 10.

Well first things first – the IMDb cast listing for this film is actually erroneous. The said listing in fact ostensibly refers to Godfrey Ho's Ninja Thunderbolt which was released the same year.That aside and onto the film in question and - Jesus H Christ! – Where do I even begin with this one?!OK….let me try and shed some light on matters….. As best as I could discern, the 'plot' involved a number of somewhat shady characters' search for a missing necklace that apparently had etched into it, the number to a Swiss bank account. Sounds simple enough? Well maybe on paper it might, but not on screen I can assure you!Containing enough sub plots to fill an average soap opera for a whole year, a veritable plethora of fight scenes (very well choreographed I might add) that break out at any given opportunity for no apparent reason whatsoever (!), a healthy dose of gratuitous nudity and sex (including one scene in which a couple are having intercourse in a boxing ring followed by on a rowing machine!) and a whole slew of characters who come and go without seeming explanation and you have one hell of a head scratching affair on your hands!But let's be honest – all this is such bloody hilarious fun!The film literally races along, not giving you time to take a breath from one energetic fight scene to another (or allowing you sufficient time to contemplate what the hell is in fact going on!) and when it eventually reaches it's abrupt ending you'll be left completely dumbfounded as to what in hell you've just sat through. Suffice to say, you won't really care as you'll be too busy nursing your stomach from laughing so hard throughout!Yes, it is indeed my honour to hereby award Ninja Holocaust the lofty status of a true bad movie classic! Tremendous fun from start to finish and I'm still none the wiser for what I've just sat through!