Cheerleader Ninjas (2002)
Four perky, clueless cheerleaders from the Happy Valley High Hamsters are mistakenly blamed by the meddling Church Ladies for the invasion of the "Internet smut" into their children's bedrooms. The Church Ladies hire Stephen, a sexually ambiguous teacher from the local Parochial Reform School, to teach the cheerleaders a lesson. But the cheerleaders have more than Stephen to worry about...lurking in the shadows is Mr. X, an evil mastermind who is using the cheerleaders as guinea pigs to test his Internet Zombie Domination software!
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Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.
A story that's too fascinating to pass by...
A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.
The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.
Why all the hate? I think it is a brilliant film, well worth the rental price. When my VHS tape wears out (cheap vcrs's..), I'll probably buy the DVD! So yes, it's juvenile. Maybe your too old too like the film? The only real complaint I have about the film is that all the computer related plot stuff is about ten years out of date! Only real nerds will get half the stuff now adays, like Usenet and SLIP accounts.About the content, yeah, it is pretty ribald. Lots of masturbation humour and TNA galore. Kinda like super soft core porn, sans X rating.In any case this film is the perfect rental for a horny B-movie loving fifteen year old.
I don`t know what to say about this movie... It is one of the most awfull movie I have ever seen... And I started watching movies when I was about the age of 5 years old. Now I am 26 years old. What does that tell ya? Oh My God, what ever you do, do not see this movie. I am pretty sure that if I rented a really cheap old model DV camera and got about 500$ I could make a better movie than this. It really sucked big time! I just turned it on and I watched for about 5 minutes and I got sick. I got it for free, thank God for that. I trashed it afterwords so no one I know have to feel the way I feelt after watching this one. I really mean it, pls don`t see it. And anyone who can possibly like this one must have serious issues... What will I give it? Nada man... I say it again, Oh My GOD!!!
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*My brother and I were at the video store the other day when we ran into "Cheerleader Ninjas". I've had my eye on it for some time now but on this particular night I wanted to rent "Looney Tunes: Back in Action". I was in a Bugs Bunny kind of mood. As I passed "Cheerleader Ninjas" I mentioned to my brother, "We should see this one day." "Done.", he said and yanked it off the shelf. Bugs Bunny would have to wait."Cheerleader Ninjas" is hilarious. My brother and I were laughing our heads off. Four cheerleaders square off against four bad Catholic High School girls. The cheerleaders learn some ninja moves to help them in their fight. The sci-fi geeks show up to help the cheerleaders do battle. The geeks drool watching the ninja catfights. I did too.The geeks were truly the highlight of the movie. They were the funniest thing about "Cheerleader Ninjas". They were all dressed in "Star Trek" costumes and quivered at the sight of real women. The scene where the Catholic girls keep the geeks as prisoners was great. "Computer, stop program." Those goobers had me laughing through the whole movie. Kira Reed shows up as "Dream Girl". She supplies most, if not all, of the abundant nudity. One scene has her reenacting a scene from "American Beauty" and another has her dishing out a little spanking with a girlfriend. She was naked in every scene of course."Cheerleader Ninjas" should be seen. It's as cheap and low budget as you would expect and most of the acting is pretty bad but I had a blast watching it. The writer/director really impressed me. He's a funny guy. "Cheerleader Ninjas" is good stuff. It has naked breasts, horny geeks, cheerleader ninjas, and bad Catholic High School girls. It was a potent mix. Good job everybody!
This poorly filmed collection of already overused gags completely lacks anything that might possibly be construed as entertainment. It's not bad-funny, it's not good-funny, it's not anything-funny. It's the complete absence of funny. Did I mention it's not funny?In comparison, watching floor wax dry is a moving intellectual experience. If there is any justice in the universe, everyone concerned with this alleged film, their relatives, friends, passing acquaintances and orthodontists will accrue massively negative karma and eventually be collectively re-incarnated as Dom DeLuis' loofah.