The Last Patrol (2000)

Waste of time

This movie is the proof that the world is becoming a sick and dumb place

Brilliant and touching

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

Dolph is a man whom i believe has/had the potential to have the same success as Arnie or Sly as he has the charisma than other action stars such as Seagal (which isn't saying much). This movie however made me eat these words as Dolph plods through this bored out of his skull, as were i and i believe i saw the first punch in the movie over an hour into it. Filling the gap is tedious boring acting in which everyone is very annoying that will push viewers over the edge. Guys do yourself a favour and avoid this drivel or you will regret it. Heres fingers crossed the expendables will change Dolphs future from making crap like this again

I have read some of the other comments and felt the need to express myself! For those who gives this flic more than a 3 rating must have seen another movie because this one is bad and very disappointing.. An earthquake changes our society and everything has changed. A good starting point. Unfortunately after about 3 minutes you will be confined and find yourself in an infinite emptiness for wasting 3 minutes of your life. The actors are acting bad, but the director has directed them very bad. All the scenes are weird because the actors looks like they know that this is bad. With stiff movements (very robot like) and uncertain actors, the art of acting is put to question. If you have gone to an acting school you should have passion for acting, and none of the actors represented in this flic shows passion for their work. The only good actors are the children! Another thing is the storyline and the direction of the movie. Sure the "fighting" is good, but are they trying to make fun of the action genre or do they actually want this? The Policeman running away from his car into the desert to escape the monsters (who are not there) and the school/church leader being a godlike something (with magical powers to control the weather)? Realistic/Likely? .. no it's just silly and sad.If you want to see a really bad movie and have good company who wants to have a good laugh, you should reconsider seeing this one! .. If you want the definition of a really bad action movie, see it! Me, i will let my memory erase the scars with time!

This movie is not what I expected from the DVD's cover or from some of the reviews posted here. There have been countless post-apocalyptic, Mad Max clones and rip-offs but this movie differs from most in that it takes a lot of time to get to the running around and shooting scenes. Time which is spent on character and atmosphere.The story is just as full of holes and "what the hell are they talking about?" moments as any other cheapo SF flick (for instance were we really expected to believe that that fine, healthy horse had been stuck in that box in the middle of the desert for weeks!? And I'm not sure the whole weird disease, pain relief ward run by desperate murderers and psychos thing made any sense at all.) But there was so much other weirdness floating about that I got the idea things might be explained / resolved by the end. They weren't, but the air of weirdness: the sudden strange Christian Voodoo rain magic thing, the cons standing in the blazing sun drinking their own urine and watching (worshipping?) their Hispanic leader Jesus on massed TV screens, the almost dreamlike quality of some of the scenes carried me through to the end.This may not be a great movie (or even a good one) but it sure as hell is a lot more interesting than 90% of the cheap, explosion driven, crap that masquerade as SF movies out there.Incidentally if you watch this on DVD check to see if there is a "making of" featurette. It's pretty standard fare but look out for the producer(?) trying to hide his astonishment they could find decent actors in Israel. His hair is incredible. Scariest thing I have seen all week. It's like Arch Hall's in Eegah!, only more so. I hope it was a wig.

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All CostsNick Preston (Dolph Lundgren) is an army captain who's in trouble with the president.One day,he stops to offer assistance to a baptist preacher named Rainbow (Brook Susan Parker),and her class of school children whose bus has broken down.Suddenly,a massive earthquake,measuring 9.5 on the richter scale strikes,seperating California in to an island along the San Andreas fault.Preston is seperated frpm the people he is helping and emerges from all the destruction in a junk yard holding weaponary from past conflicts with some other survivors,among them Air Force Captain Sarah McBride (Sherri Alexander),Marine Seargent Lucky Simcoe (Joe Michael Burke) and his hare-brained young wife Candy (Rebecca Cross).As a group they search for food,fuel and fellow survivors,along with Preston's individual search for Rainbow,who he now believes had some kind of psychic premonition that the disaster was going to happen,and the children.They must also a dodge a violent,skin boiling plague and a new enemy in the shape of Mexicano death row convict Jesus (Juliano Mer),his girly-voiced former geologist sidekick Simon Peace (Chanan Elias) and their army of prisoners.It's odd since a previous reviewer stated that the film had an $8.2 million budget,but I don't think I've ever seen a Dolph Lundgren movie in my life with production values as shoddy as this one.The budgetary constraints are laughably apparent from the beginning.The film is set in California,America,yet in a very early scene,we see Dolph driving down a freeway in his milatary jeep and,along the way,he passes some British road signs,including a bend to the left sign and a turn left marker.That,the use of some video recorder footage (including some shot of some religious fanatics and outside a burning liqour store) and a shot stolen from the movie Dante's Peak certify that this sure ain't no major studio production.Even the front cover looks cheaply slapped together.The uninspired,cliched post apocalyptic storyline had some inventive,enjoyable angles that might have worked here and there,had the actual story itself not been so incoherent and confused in it's execution.The scene has the bad guy named Jesus perhaps as some kind of twisted role reversal on the creation of man in the new life (when a guy named Jesus was our saviour in the last one) but it's one of too many said clever ideas that the film keeps trying to throw in our direction in a failing attempt to try and make it more than the sum of it's parts.Speaking of which,Mer's villain is woefully inconsistent,though not terribly engaging in the few scenes he does occupy anyway.Enjoyable on exceedingly few levels,The Last Patrol is a film that's so degradable it hasn't even had it's premiere on Channel 5 yet.And if that ain't bad,you tell me what the hell is.**