Crawlspace (2013)

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

Awesome Movie

The first must-see film of the year.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

CRAWLSPACE (aka THE ATTIC) is a remake of an obscure 1980s thriller starring Klaus Kinski as a psycho living in an attic and terrorising the residents in the home below. In this version, Steven Weber (THE SHINING miniseries) is the psycho, a guy who definitely doesn't believe in traditional family values.You know what? This turns out to be a fun, offbeat little movie that has much in common with other remakes like that of THE STEPFATHER, but it might well be the best of the recent crop. The reason for its success is a tight, focused script which sees the running time fly by, combined with some nasty little death scenes which go for creativity throughout. If ever you wanted to watch somebody getting killed - realistically - with a vacuum cleaner, then this is the film.The worst thing about the story is, as usual, the characters, who aside from Weber's psycho are so bland that you'll be hoping he gets on with the job of bumping them off one by one. Again, the acting is nothing to write home about, with Weber (who looks like Andrew Lincoln in THE WALKING DEAD) convincing as the bad guy and that's about it. Still, I think CRAWLSPACE is a hoot: a tight little home invasion horror with plenty of gore to recommend it.

An Uncredited Remake of "Hider in the House" (1989) Starring Gary Busey, and with the Same Title of the Klaus Kinski Horror from 1986, this is a By the Book Slasher/Home Invasion Horror Throwback with Genre Trope Kills that will Seem Familiar.A Good Deal of Emphasis is Placed on the Family Unit with Many Scenes of Brother-Sister Banter and Bonding and Parent-Child Relationships and Responsibilities. It is This Focus that Gives the B-Movie a Bit of Gravity but Not Enough to Make this Rise Above Average at Best.It is Formula for Most of its Short Running Time and Might be Worth a Watch for Horror Completists and B-Movie Slummers, but Others can Skip this Styleless Movie Without Missing Anything New.

This movie us weirdly retro, it has a Stepford Kids/Stepfather/people Across the Lake feel to it, I had to double check it was 2013 as it feels so dated! I'm not saying that as a negative btw.) It's far from the worst film I've ever seen. It was reasonably well acted, script was quite cringeworthy, mildly gory, there was some sex, (one with no boobs and one with boobs) usual highly implausible execution but it's a budget horror movie so I'll let it go. Usual horror flick rules apply, eg- don't over analyse the plot or ask how this can possibly be going on. How can people go missing and no - one notices.Standard home invasion, enjoyable and disposable. Corny and charming.4.5/10

Where to begin with what's wrong with this movie.. Well the word cliché comes to mind, there wasn't exactly anything here that I hadn't seen done better about a 1000 times before. The 'family' were just terrible. They had no chemistry together whatsoever, and I never bought them as a family for a minute. The actors playing the parents were especially bad. I found the bumbling, ineffectual chipmunk-cheeked joke of a father plain annoying to look at and listen to, and I don't know if the gal who played the mother had had any facial-work done on her at any point, but her face and expressions just did not move, like at all throughout the whole thing! The other three playing the kids were alright enough, but to me they were just a horribly mismatched group of people. And some of the stuff that they expected the viewer to swallow in this was outrageous! It's one thing for a man to be living in someone's attic without them knowing about it, but to also have that man walking around the house at night, standing in doorways and over people while they're sleeping? *NO*, you bad, intelligence-insulting film you! The direction was weak, and just didn't capture what should have been the classic horror thrills and fun of the story. Some of it was very vaguely OK, I mean I don't know, I think kids'll enjoy it, people with low expectations for a movie! It was basically entertaining enough while I was watching it that I didn't wanna jump off a cliff or anything.. You've got to suspend your disbelief-a lot! The only thing that I definitely did enjoy was Steven Weber as the deranged killer. I thought he was overqualified and frankly too good to be in such completely forgettable garbage. I thought he was really funny when he'd give the camera little mischievous knowing grins at certain hectic moments. Ha, in the final-frame he is messed up! I actually was rooting for him, as pretty much everyone else in the cast was so boring and stupid. There wasn't much at all to like, but I did enjoy the outrageousness of the bit where the horndog son pays the babysitter to sleep with him and she actually does! And I liked the performance of the actress who played the nosy old neighbour until she popped her clogs. She reminded me a lot of the swamp hag from Pumpkinhead. Her death was quite nasty, although a little gore sure wouldn't have hurt none-she had a freaking vacuum cleaner rammed down her throat! All the kills were fair well done and didn't skimp on the violence. Not that I watch a horror movie exclusively for that stuff but in dire straits such as this, it can be a very minor plus! Something that I found pretty cool was how they showed the classic creepy surreal Fleischer cartoon "Minnie the Moocher" a lot to sinister effect. So lame! In my opinion just a mildly enjoyable but ultimately bad flick. Only view it for Weber's performance if you absolutely have to at all. Bye, now.