Yoga Hosers (2016)

Pretty Good

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

Because he had no other choice, Kevin Smith started exactly where he was at... the very bottom, financially... for his black and white crass comedy, CLERKS, which had a great script, a gang of real characters playing fictional ones and a location that really put you there for the action and, on purpose, complete lack of...Which was followed by the much too colorful (and hopelessly vacant) MALLRATS that led to Smith's best venture, CHASING AMY and, years later when his indie magic had dried up and after failing at the conventional box office, he intentionally returned to the slacker's den where, along with a podcast show, there's an attempt to make daughter Harley Quinn Smith a star. But not by herself. Along with this every-girl, just comfortable enough in front of the camera, is pixie model Lily-Rose Depp; the daughter of Johnny Depp, who, between million dollar PIRATE successes and a string of artistic misfires, seems to be doing Kevin a return-favor by appearing in both TUSK and the latest, YOGA HOSERS, as a spaced-out, boil-faced, scraggly-haired private eye (of sorts) named Guy Lapointe, a hybrid of Peter Sellers' Inspector Clouseau, Robert Shaw's Quint from JAWS and Peter Falk's scruffy TV Detective Columbo.The main characters are the two teenage girls, both named Colleen, who, like Dante and Randall in CLERKS, work as... well... clerks at a convenience store; only more liken to a 711 instead of a rural-suburban dive-purgatory...While Smith's two male CLERKS had polar opposite personalities, which is essential in any kind of buddy flick, these girls, staring at their cell phones and, as Canadians, pronouncing, for example, the word "About" as "A-Boot", are exactly the same...Pop Culture guru Smith, like Quentin Tarantino, is heavily influenced by old stuff... ranging from The Fonz to JAWS... that he grew up on. If only there was more of a LAVERNE & SHIRLEY vibe here... a sit-com where two polar opposite girl roomies continuously kept each other going. Shirley is girl-next-door cute, extremely uptight and on the verge of having a mental breakdown, perpetually guided by the stronger, more experienced party girl, Laverne, who keeps herself out of trouble by keeping her best friend sane. In YOGA HOSERS, Colleen One and Colleen Two are basically clones and hardly even keep each other company. Perhaps the next feature could allow one of the duo to either surpass or digress so there's enough anti-chemistry to make the eventual kinship really mean something.Like with TUSK, which centered on a loser who winds up captive at a madman's manor and then turned into a walrus, Kevin Smith goes so intentionally overboard, it's as if he's giving fans something so bizarre and intentionally-bad to be critic-proof: especially if said critics are uptight party poopers who just "Don't get it" to begin with. In HOSERS, the two teen parrots battle a bunch of tiny "Shatzis", all played by a computer-animated Kevin Smith, looking manufactured from a student film at a semi-expensive college. The shin high monsters, a cross between the creature Drew Barrymore battled in The General, the third tale in the Stephen King anthology CAT'S EYE, and what probably inspired that episode - Karen Black's famous Zuni Doll from TRILOGY OF TERROR. Herein, the victims all deserve to die, which happens so quickly that, while the girls sit around agreeing on everything that annoys them, it's all just too easy: a maze without corners.Smith new style seems influenced by the chaotic mayhem of SHAUN OF THE DEAD director Edgar Wright, and there are moments to get jovially lost in. But it's Johnny Depp's pointless character who not only ruins a film already heavily marred with banality, but his cadence of speech is paint-drying-torture. Instead of providing necessary exposition, or being a strategic cameo, he rambles on and on: right when things almost begin to roll without him. And not only does he get in the way of whatever story Smith is trying to tell (like in TUSK), he makes it even harder for the audience to get to know the two girls we're supposed to love at this point. But if you want to hear the world's greatest Adam West imitation, standup-comic-relief Ralph Garman steals a "Lecturing Villain" scene that's all his own.

I was looking at the IMB score and I was completely confused. Did we all watch the same movie? Then I entered reviews to find out what's it all about and now I'm not confused anymore - now I'm pissed! If you've never seen anything from Kevin Smith, or if you did and you did not like it, please, do not even try to watch "Yoga Hosers". This film is the second part of "The True North Trilogy" (the third part is still not out) and therefore requires that you see "Tusk" first. And for a true understanding and complete experience of any Kevin Smith film, it is required that you already saw all of his previous movies. If you did not, you have no right to give negative comments on this one. True, it's not a masterpiece on the level with "Chasing Amy" or "Dogma", but it's side by side with "Clerks" and "Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back"."Yoga Hosers" takes place in the same "world" as "Tusk", and takes a part of the story and several characters from it. The film mocks the teens today and is full of references to many of Kevin's previous films, as well as a bunch of other stuff from pop culture. Johnny Depp has taken the role in this trilogy because "Chasing Amy" and "Jersey Girl" are his favorite films, and his daughter is the best friend of Kevin Smith's daughter since kindergarten. And guess who plays the main roles in this movie. If you saw "Tusk", perhaps you remember a teenage girls working as saleswomen in "Eh-2-Zed". These are Harley Quinn Smith, daughter of Kevin Smith, named after Joker's villain lover from "Batman", and Lily-Rose Depp, daughter of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis (who also appears as a history teacher). There are also Depp's son Jack and Kevin's wife Jennifer, who's Harley's mother both in the movie and real life. Real family movie. There's also Kevin Smith himself, in the role I mustn't mention to avoid spoilers, as well as Adam Brody, Tyler Posey (Kevin is "Teen Wolf" fan and character Gordon Greenleaf is written specifically for Tyler), cameo appearance of Stan Lee, and of course Jason Mewes. The story is "so bad it's good", completely crazy and over the top, but what essentially makes this film ingenious is a continuous array of references to all sorts of things, that have led me to tears of laughter. So, gentleman haters, it isn't Smith who lost his genius, but you are the ones who got old in the meantime and lost your sense for humor.8/10

I think it's fair to not be too hard on this film because I can see the intent of it, and it's a really nice one.The movie was obviously made by Kevin Smith to give his daughter Harley Quinn Smith and her best friend Lily Rose Depp (who happens to be Johnny Depp's daughter) a bit of experience in acting and the whole process of film making. Some may sneer at that and say it's spoiled Hollywood brats using privilege to get what they want but that's honestly not very fair.Look at it this way, if you had kids would you not move heaven and Earth to give them everything? Would you not use any connections you have to help them follow their dreams? If not then I think you need to question your quality as a parent. Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp, who also stars in the film along with Vanessa Paradis (Lily Rose's Mother) and Jen Smith (Harley's mother), are nothing mote than parents who are working in the business that their children want to enter and so are doing their best to help the with that.Make no mistake though, being on a film set is hard work, learning lines is hard work (Smith is famous for lengthy dialogue) and I guarantee that both girls have been sat down by their fathers and told how hard, cruel and unforgiving this business is before this film went into production and are more than likely being extra hard on them.As for the film itself, well it's not great but then again it's not meant for my demographic (a 40 year old man) as the millennial teen centric theme just didn't click with me at all and I didn't think this was Smith's best work in the writing department either. The two leads are charming enough though with Lily Rose Depp in particular showing some good acting potential (no surprise there) but Harley Quinn Smith is likable and also very good in the film. One must take into account the this is a first time for each girl doing ANY of this and with that in mind it's a strong start. Also bear in mind that most actors worth their salt have made their start in films which have not exactly gotten great reviews.Speaking of reviews, the ones for Yoga Hosers are harsh, but I also guarantee than, like me, a lot of these people will have been around when Clerks was first released and as stated, this film is not for them. With that in mind, I'm sure it will become a firm favourite with girls aged 12-17 all around the world. Maybe something that they will grow out of eventually realise that it's not a great film, but will also be remembered fondly as being good girly fun.It's a shame that given the really good cast the film wasn't up there with Chasing Amy in terms of sheer quality, but this is a fun teenage comedy for fun teenage girls and with that in mind it does just fine. Maybe when the girls are a bit older the content will become a bit more mature.Yoga Hosers isn't a great example of film making, but then again neither was Masters of The Universe, Cyborg or Eliminators - films which, as a young boy I loved and I still love to this day despite their quality. It is however, a shining example of good parenting, and that makes me feel good about the film despite not really enjoying it.

see... if you looking to my profile in twitter you will notice I'm considered one of the most biggest movies reviewer in KSA,the problem is that also i'm knowing as hard minded in giving rates to movies people always say to me like 'what i want' in movies and why hardly i give big ratings, there is many things should be in a movie so it make it PERFECT like (( Yoga Hosers )) i will tell you dear reader what those:- 1- acting natural and not being scared at all - Lilly Rose and her friend in movie let you feel that they are not acting at all, the way you see them laugh and stuff you will naturally feel it as they not acting even they post in movie their first takes, also you will feel that they was having fun making this movie, this is important to make the movie even more success! 2- start strong, stay strong & end strong - this movie Literally will not make you get bored all the way till the end, even boring conversations will make you laugh ! 3- more stuff to see - i watch this movie twice, in the second time i discovered stuff that i didn't notice in the first watch... and i don't mind at all watching this movie third forth and fifth time etc...i don't know how to thank team yoga hosers, making something that I really REALLY liked !