Hideaway (1995)

Touches You

Great Film overall

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

You sit down in a cozy diner. It's familiar, like you've been to a thousand diners like that one before. Maybe you've been to them once a week, if you're into diners. And maybe when you go, they don't let you in because that particular diner — for whatever reason — only admits customers 17 years of age or older. I don't know.You order the "Hideaway" omelet, which you think will be good because the menu assures you that the ingredients come from an organic farm. The Dean R. Koontz Organic Farm, let's call it.The waiter comes out with your omelet and, lo and behold, your waiter is Jeff Goldblum!Goldblum says, "Here's your... ah... omelet, sir... or... or madam — I'm not sure of the... ah... exact... gender of the person I am speaking to," and then he puts the plate down in front of you.And it's just awful. Everything is lousy. Nothing works. Nothing is memorable. It looks like any ordinary omelet, except the ingredients all look fake and taste even worse. The bacon, which the menu brags is added in to make the omelet look cool, looks like it was made in the '90s, a decade notorious for its fake-looking bacon. To make matters worse, the whole thing reeks of cheese. It's all so cheesy.And though the ingredients are normal, everyday omelet ingredients — mushrooms, cheese, tomatoes, onions — they come together in an odd and confusing way. Not only that, but you also taste chocolate and apples and the faintest whiff of shrimp, even though none of these things fit in with your omelet. Plus, the more you eat the omelet, the messier it becomes. It isn't long before the undercooked eggs are splayed out all over your plate, and you consider leaving the diner right at that minute, but you remember that you're paying about $6 in 1995 money for this omelet. You can't just get up and leave it. Plus, you owe it to Jeff Goldblum to listen to what he has to say, even though he's talking about how he lost his daughter in a car accident and you don't even remember how he got on that subject to begin with.In fact, the only thing that makes the experience worthwhile is Jeff Goldblum, who just rambles to you the entire time you're eating that garbage omelet. He's holding a shotgun, too, for some reason. That's cool, you think to yourself. Jeff Goldblum looks like a badass when he's holding a shotgun.And when you've finished eating the omelet, Jeff Goldblum thanks you for your time and takes the plate back to the kitchen. You never see him again, but you decide that, in two weeks, when you've forgotten that you've ever eaten the "Hideaway" omelet, with its synthetic ingredients, confusing recipe, messy eggs and overwhelming cheesiness, you'll remember who it was that gave it to you: Jeff Goldblum.So maybe you'll be back to that diner to eat another meal with him, but you know one thing for sure: You're never going to order that goddamned omelet again.

"Hideaway" really wasn't as bad as it could've been, but it's not all that great as it is.**SPOILERS**Coming home from their ski-top resort, Hatch, (Jeff Goldblum) and Lindsey Harrison, (Christine Lahti) and his troubled daughter Regina, (Alicia Silverstone) are involved in a horrific car accident, and Hatch is brought back from the dead afterwards. After being normal for a few days, he begins to have weird nightmares and visions, and Dr. Jonas Nybern, (Alfred Molina) confirms it's nothing. Despite the reassurance, he still has the visions of a strange man attacking people, all done with his mind. Eventually learning that the man is named Jeremy, (Jeremy Sisto) and that he had been brought back to life Hatch's recovery from the accident after himself dying. As he begins a city-wide rampage that includes Regina in his targets, Hatch races to stop him before he can fully return from the dark side.The Good News: This wasn't all that bad of a film and did contain some nice moments. The fact that the film does use a fairly routine and clichéd storyline into something actually decent. The fact that an ordinary man is in contact with a demonic entity is done before and done quite well, but this is still a very watchable film. They use the technique well and make it a very worthwhile watch. That also has an added bonus in being able to give the film a large amount of suspense through this, and it does have a creepy tone throughout. The visions are thankfully not just of the killer going about his business killing the innocents, but also the set-ups and seemingly random scenes that will eventually be useful later on in the chase. That is a nice touch and is really welcomed. The ending chase is it's best part, full of suspense and some nice action. The reasoning behind the battle is the majority of the suspense, as the longer it takes to get to the final showdown is less time needed to save one of the victims and the journey to get there through a never-ending series of darkened tunnels also chipping in some as well. The final battle, with the turns in the tide of the fight and the setting placed provide some really nice action scenes that effectively end the movie on a high note. The early scenes in the nightclubs do have an eerie quality to them, and are nicely placed to keep it from being a really drawn-process. The car crash at the beginning, while being slightly overkill, is also one of the best scenes, being a really high-action set-piece that is quite thrilling and is a real spectacle. The pace isn't that terrible, and while it could've shortened some scenes there's really nothing that keeps it from being an overlong film. This really could've been far worse.The Bad News: There isn't a lot here that keeps it from being that great. As mentioned before, the pace isn't that great, and there are some scenes that drag out far longer than possible. The opening car crash is a major example. Once the car hits the woods, the scene could've ended there and still had the set-up necessary for the rest of the movie. There's no reason to drag it out far longer than it is. The many scenes of wandering around listening to the characters attempt to explain what's going on near the end are some other big scenes. That also brings up the other big factor, which is the stupidity of the characters. Major plot points are not revealed by any intelligence on the characters' part, but based on coincidence. The best is the discovery of the motel the killer is staying at. The character happens to drive by it, even though it's been seen through his visions countless time before it and that takes it sheer coincidence that it happened. The CGI at the end is really unrealistic and only just looks fake now as it did then. With a little help, this could've been a lot better.The Final Verdict: There could've been some little fixing to make this a little better, but it's still not that bad as it is. It's not really the worst film of this type, but there is still room for improvement. Give it a shot if it sounds interesting, just don't expect a classic and it'll be a decent watch.Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and Nudity

POSSIBLE SPOILERS HEREIN! Note also that although I personally shun the lengthy review, in this particular case (my first review in fact), I have written a long one myself, for reasons that will become obvious.PLEASE BE ADVISED:1) Do not see this film (it is that bad – the details in a jiffy); and 2) When you have done so (seen not this film), it is safe to return here and read the rest of this review.Now that you have complied with the above, let me begin by saying that this is one of those movies that, initially, is just passable enough, in spite of the leaps of faith (suspensions of disbelief) that are required of you, not to turn you definitively off before the plot, initially, begins to suck you in (don't worry, it will soon repel you – oops! – make that "would soon have repelled you").Or maybe I should begin by saying that this is one of those movies that you would normally never be tempted to see, and that the only reason you finally seriously considered seeing it (on that movie channel that regularly shows this film, along with a smattering of other repeats) was because there was nothing else particularly interesting on the other channels, yet you were determined to see a movie on the tele on that occasion, and further, none of the films in your video collection beckoned to you, nor were you of a mind to leave your abode in search of a rental.The main two problems with this film, apart from the fact that none of the actors, except for the chap who played the minuscule part of the police detective (I remember him best as Dr. Watson in a Sherlock Holmes series), are capable of rising above the mediocre, are A) The protagonist's journey to the beyond and back relies too heavily on graphic portrayal rather than on suggestion (and this graphic rendering of the soul's maze-like journey (the eyes are the conduit) through the synapses that are presumed to connect this world with the beyond – which journey was replaced throughout the middle section of the film with the capacity of the two linked characters (see the plot summary), once the hook-up was firmly established, to see through each other's eyes – returns with a vengeance towards the end of the film, where it degenerates into a cheap, deus-ex-machina ploy), and B) The implausibilities accumulate at an exponential rate, causing first fidgeting, then red ears, then outright shame accompanied by nausea (to take a simple example, since each of the two linked characters knows that the other can see through his eyes, why give important details away like addresses that can easily be traced? – but of course, without these dumb mistakes, the dumb plot couldn't advance to the dumb ending!). If this film begins at the top of the hour on your movie channel (assuming that you decided to ignore my advice in (1) above), then at roughly the top of the next hour you will find yourself zapping over to catch the stale news headlines, just like I did. After that I zapped elsewhere, but found no alternative worth watching. Having, in the meantime, invested so much time in this crappy film, I decided that I should at least catch the ending so that I could piece the storyline together, however bad it was (one feels guilty for having invested so much time in so much froth, yet one feels equally guilty at not seeing it through, since the hope is that by being able to piece the storyline together, one will have salvaged the time already invested... this is not unlike the manner in which Brer Rabbit found himself hopelessly stuck in the tar!).I missed huge parts of the film between the 58th and 100th minutes (it is 105 minutes long, circa), then came back in time to catch the ludicrous (and ludicrously graphic) climax (but given the absurdity of the build-up that the bad guy's hideaway itself represents – which part, granted, I only caught in snatches – something far-fetched was required to cap off this story). I skipped the ending, which I am sure was dopey... one must cut one's losses however one can. After a film like this, nothing hits the spot like a good, sudsy bath!

This film started out very strange, where you proceed into a home with all religious pictures on the wall and a mother and daughter praying before a statue. Then you see a young man go into a locked room and does horrible things to himself as his father tries to help him. The picture proceeds to Jeff Goldblum,(Hatch Harrison) who plays an antique dealer and his wife Christine Lahti,(Lindsey Harrison). This married couple have a daughter Alicia Silverstone,(Regina Harrison) who is bored to death on a vacation her parents are taking in the mountains. Alicia fights with her dad and they all decided to head back home, on the way they have a car accident which causes reason problems with Hatch Harrison. There is plenty of Soul, Body and Spiritual happenings and also Good & Evil Spirits. If you like this type of film, you will definitely love this film and the excellent acting.