The Night Watchmen (2017)

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

Just perfect...

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

This movie had me laughing all the way through. I was surprised and did not expect it. I love horror movies that's are funny. Definitely one to check out for sure!!!

Comedy and horror blend together really well and here is yet another example of this.Telling the story of a group of office workers & security guards who are the last survivors of a vampire outbreak in their building.Starring James Remar & Tiffany Shepis truth is they are little more than cameo appearances and likely added to give the movie a bit of star power.With fantastic one liners, high production values and a competent cast this really caught me by surprise and is a really good effort.The film has some really great writing, memorable vampire clowns and roaring potential for an entire franchise, I walked away from this very pleased.It's not flawless but is a damn fine effort regardless, we need more of this and less of The Conjuring/Insidious nonsense.The Good:Tiffany ShepisJames RemarLooks greatThe Bad:Lacks closureOne sfx looks pretty badThings I Learnt From This Movie:1980's montage scenes are still awesomeA sure fire way to identify a vampire is by their inability to danceNecrophilia is when one person makes sweet love to someone else. The someone else is just dead thoughGiving a vampire the munchies doesn't sound like a good idea to me

"The Night Watchmen" is a vampire movie with clowns … but the clowns are the vampires and – in fact – the titular night watchmen are the clowns! Does that make sense? If not, it doesn't matter. It's a horror comedy with the emphasis laying heavily on the comedy part, and although enjoyable enough while it lasts, it's probably one of the least memorable movies you'll ever watch. The script, written by two of the lead actors, contains a few inventive gimmicks and a small handful of genuine laughs, but overall it's a routine and largely uninspired fan-boy movie with the usual splatter effects and infantile fart, weed and bimbo jokes. We're introduced to the four night watchmen of the Baltimore Gazette newspaper building, located somewhere in the harbor. Their job is generally boring and monotonous, so they entertain themselves by peeping at the sexy office ladies, playing human bowling, smoking weed and stealing other people's lunch packets. Tonight will be different, however, because the coffin of a famous dead clown mistakenly ended up at the newspaper building. The clown mysteriously died during a tour in Romania and got repatriated, but he quickly rises from his coffin and goes on a violent killing spree during the one night that everybody stays in the office to work on a deadline. Personally, I think that the concept of eerie vampire clowns entering the USA via the Baltimore harbor and gradually bloodsucking their way through the rest of the country might even have worked as an actual horror movie, complete with atmospheric tension and scary clowns' make-up, but apparently the makers decided it was better to focus on incompetent watchmen instead. Thanks to the copious amounts of fake blood and the exaggeratedly bad acting, "The Night Watchmen" is entertaining enough to watch at a festival or in the company of drunken friends, but don't expect to still be talking about it a week later.

This film is a LOT of fun with some great gags, throwaway lines and terrific acting, script and direction. The crew knows EXACTLY what they are going for and they deliver in spades. Highly recommended and a LOT of fun!The cast really engages in the film and it looks like everyone is having a lot of fun. It reminded me of RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD in that the set up begins with the characters, which is a key to its success. And then it just builds and builds and it's hoot to see all that happens.