Fit to Kill (1993)

That was an excellent one.

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

Chinese businessman Chang (well played by Aki Aleong) owns the fabulous Alexa diamond, which he plans on giving back to Russia. However, cunning criminal mastermind Kane (smoothly essayed by Geoffrey Moore) steals said diamond. It's up to a crack team of federal agents to retrieve the diamond before a major international war breaks out. Writer/director Andy Sidaris once more delivers yet another blithely silly'n'trashy cinematic cocktail of plentiful tasty female nudity, sizzling soft-core sex scenes, an musing sense of self-mocking goofy humor, cool gadgets, huge splashy explosions, globe trotting locations, and maladroitly staged action set pieces. Moreover, Sidaris even tosses in a gloriously surreal and ridiculous sub-James Bond dream sequence just for the hell of it. The usual array of lovely ladies adds immensely to the considerable entertainment value: busty blonde Dona Speir as the feisty Donna Hamilton, yummy brunette Roberta Casquez as Donna's sassy partner Nicole Justin, delectable redhead Cynthia Brimhall as sultry singer Edy Stark, the luscious Ava Cadell as sexy-voi9ced disc jockey Ava, and, best of all, the impossibly statuesque Julie Strain as lethal assassin Blu Steele, who gets a great introduction scene working out in a skimpy swimsuit. Sidaris film regular Rodrigo Obregon has a refreshing change of pace goody guy role as suave Russian envoy Mikael Pekov, Bruce Penhall contributes an engaging turn as affable hunk Bruce Christian, and Tony Peck does well as no-nonsense superior Lucas. Mark Morris' bright cinematography gives the picture a pleasing sunny look. Richard Lyons' funky-bouncy score keeps things bouncing along. A total blast.

Bottom line, the only reason people watch these is the tits and sex. The stories are grade Z bond episodes. No wait, at least bond is fun to watch, all these Andy Sidaris movies are is sex and more sex. Just watch one, you'll see some enormous cans, terrible acting, but, the nudity makes up for it. Wait a minute, why am I complaining, bring on the tits and beer.The only reason these make money, flesh. I wonder where the director is, these movies were made in the 80's and 90's. I wish he would make another one with hot chicks who can act like Kate Beckinsale and Clara Peller.

For a B movie, it comes pretty near to being almost like a what a normal movie would be if it had a lot more gratuitous nudity and violence, and in addition to that, it has Julie Strain in it. What more could you want?When you consider that Sidaris is working almost exclusively with ex-playboy playmates and penthouse pets, it's actually quite a spectacular accomplishment.If you only compare it with other straight to video type movies, you can see how uncommon this type of film making is.Sidaris is to be congratulated for bringing actual talent to a segment of the film market that usually gets passed over.

If you want to see women's breasts, get a porno. There is no plot, but the last 45 minutes of this movie focus on resolving some sort of dangerous plan. The only value this movie has is that sometimes its so bad its funny, and, yes, boobs are boobs.