Hannie Caulder (1972)

Simply Perfect

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

Absolutely brilliant

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

A spaghetti western that is definitely outside the box. Sorry I keep using that expression. Hannie Caulder (Raquel Welch) survives a brutal rape by three brothers who take lowlife scoundrels to a new level After her husband is murdered and she is raped, she goes after them and knows little about gun fighting until she meets a bounty hunter played by Robert Culp who shows her the ropes. An aside issue is the the three lowlife brothers are well played by Ernest Borgnine, Jack Elam, and Strother Martin who do a good job of channeling The Three Stooges and steal every scene they are in. I remember the critics hated it but what do they know since they usually have their mind made up before watching movies like this. It is too bad that Messrs. Borgnine, Elam, and Martin did not try to do a couple of comedy westerns without being low life scumbags because as these characters they were funny and had great chemistry.

TITLE: HANNIE CAULDER opened in theaters on July 1 1971 and the movie took 85 minutes to watch. Hannie Caulder is a 1971 Western movie starring Raquel Welch Ernest Borgnine, and Robert Culp.SUMMARY: The movie opens with Clemens Brothers riding into a Mexican Town and riding up to the bank. Across the dirt road is the Mexican Freda's sleeping and taking a break. As the Clemens Brothers are trying to rob, the bank one of the tellers pulls a handle that rings a bell. All hell breaks loose, a gunfight starts, and the Clemens brothers head out of town with the Mexican Army after them. The Clemens Brothers come across Hannie Caulder her husband and their farm. Hannie Husband confronts the Clemens Brothers and he is shot and kill. One of the Clemens goes into the house to fine some food when he comes across Hannie himself. The Clemens Brothers each take their turn with Hannie raping her repeatedly. Then after they have their fun, they torch the place and leave Hannie for dead. Hannie makes it out only to fine her husband dead down by the stable that use to hold their horses. Hannie buries her husband and with only a blanket starts walking. Hannie comes to and old Mexican Farm with a well when a Bounty Hunter confronts her name Thomas Price. Hannie knocks Price out with the barrel of his rifle, starts to leave only to change her mind, and stays with him. Hannie takes Prices revolver and starts practicing to shoot. Hannie ask Price if he would teach her how to use a gun and he says no and leaves. However, Hannie follows him and while she is sleeping, she starts having nightmares about what those three animals did to her. Hannie wakes up in tears and Price asks her how many where there and she tells him 3. What about your husband and Hannie tell him his dead. Therefore, after hearing her story Price agrees to help her and her to see Christopher Lee who is a blacksmith and make Hannie a special gun. QUESTIONS: Why did the Clemens brothers attack Hannie Caulder? Why did they leave her for dead? How far did Hannie walk before she came across the farm? Who showed up at lee place? What did the person want? Who else showed up at Lee place? What did they want? Where did Price and Hannie go after they were finish at Lee place? MY THOUGHTS: I thought this movie was fantastic. I thought that the three actors who played the role of the Clemens Brothers did a very good job. Robert Culp also did a good job playing the role of the gunfighter. However, this movie was about one person and one person only. Raquel Welch! Her role as Hannie Caulder was excellent. When she came out of the fire, all she had on was a blanket. Then they turned around and designed the blanket into a Mexican pullover, which made her more beautiful. Raquel Welch displayed her beauty and her talents with any problems what so ever. Based on Raquel Beauty and Talent alone I give this movie the highest amount of weasel stars I can give and that are 10.

In the third of what might be considered Raquel Welch's Western trilogy (1968's "Bandolero!," 1969's "100 Rifles" and the picture in question here, 1971's "Hannie Caulder"), we find the late-'60s' foremost sex goddess in very fine form indeed, despite the absence of bikinis, fur lined or otherwise. "Hannie Caulder" is a British picture that was filmed in Spain, though set in the American Southwest and Mexico; does its best to emulate an Italian spaghetti Western; and has as its star a woman of mixed Bolivian/Irish descent. (I will give your mind a moment to absorb this international stew while I fondly reminisce on the jolting impact that Raquel Welch had on the puberties of millions of us baby boomer boys, by dint of her appearances in such mid-'60s films as "One Million Years B.C." and "Fathom.") In the '71 picture, Raquel (as the end credits inform us) IS Hannie Caulder, the wife of a rancher, whose life takes an abrupt turn for the worse when the bumbling Clemens Brothers--Emmett, Frank and Rufus (played, respectively, by Ernest Borgnine, Jack Elam and Strother Martin)--fleeing from a botched holdup, kill her man, gang rape her, burn down her home and leave her for dead. Fortunately for the widow Caulder, she soon makes the acquaintance of Thomas Luther Price, a renowned bounty hunter (supremely well played by Robert Culp), who reluctantly teaches her the arts of shooting and the quick draw. Thus, before long, Hannie is suitably prepared to ride down the ol' vengeance trail....Though "Hannie Caulder" tells what is in essence a simple story, it is at least a compact one, with little flab. The picture is quite gorgeous to look at (and no, I'm not referring to Raquel here), with stunning scenery and color; a handsome production, to be sure, largely due, I suppose, to producer Patrick Curtis (Welch's husband at the time). The film sports a wonderful Western theme, thanks to Ken Thorne, and director Burt Kennedy (who had previously helmed such popular oaters as "The War Wagon," "Support Your Local Sheriff" and its follow-up, "Support Your Local Gunfighter," and the Frank Sinatra Western "Dirty Dingus Magee") adds some imaginative touches (I love that POV shot down a rifle's double barrel!). As for Hannie's nemeses, although the "Maltin Movie Guide" refers to the Clemens Brothers' antics as "Three Stooges"-like, I prefer the description of them to be found in the wonderful film book "DVD Delirium 3": "a malodorous triple-scoop of pond scum"! Still, without their shenanigans, this film would be virtually devoid of humor, although Moe, Larry and Curly were never as seriously nasty and violent as this trio. (The film, by the way, DOES get fairly violent at times, with lots of spurting red stuff; Peckinpah might have been pleased with it.) It must be added that although Racky's acting is just fine here, she really doesn't get to stretch her thesping abilities all that much, and her sexuality is de-emphasized behind an Eastwoodesque poncho (although her shrunk-to-fit leather breeches do look pretty hot on her). Still, the lady looks great; she'd look good in burlap sacking, of course, and still, remarkably, looks fantastic today, a full 40 years later. By default, it is Robert Culp--here three years after his three-year stint on TV's "I Spy"--as the bearded, bespectacled but supercool bounty hunter who easily walks away with the film's acting honors; he is simply terrific. Besides his always welcome presence, "Hannie Caulder" gives us a nice supporting role by Christopher Lee as an extremely talented gunsmith, as well as '50s sex goddess Diana Dors doing a cameo as a bloated bordello madame. In all, a pretty darn good Western, with a satisfying resolution. If "Bandolero!" taught us that it is not a good idea to force your "sexual favors" on a Mexican woman who is anywhere near a six-shooter, "Hannie Caulder" drives home a similar message threefold...with a vengeance!

Did I see a different movie than everybody else? No one has mentioned the head scratching events, like why the gang of Mexicans attacked Christopher Lee and company on the beach. Like who was the guy at the prison and why he helped Hannie? Did he live there? Let's not forget the absurdity of making a gun without any machining tools. No one mentioned how the older brother's leg wound kept changing legs. Someone mentioned less cheesecake? Less than having one of the most beautiful woman on earth wear a poncho for the whole movie. What moron's idea was that? The whole teaching her how to shoot was just awful and painful to watch. The music was terrible and wildly inappropriate. It sounded like some outtakes from Star Trek. There was no chemistry at all between Welch and Culp at all, none! I could go on and on about the three stooges being portrayed as bad asses, but you get the point.